My Extremely Paleo 4th of July

That title is a fib. And the weights picture is from a while ago. It’s all a straight up lie. I didn’t really eat paleo yesterday. Nor did I care. I wanted to post a recipe today, but I wanted to have a holiday like the rest of the US of A. So that’s what I did. I instagrammed my food experience instead of cooking you all up something, so you all could know what a random day of eating and drinking looks like for me.

It’s funny because people will give me sh*t for not eating paleo, or ask me if the beer I’m drinking is paleo…all in all, you people aren’t funny. Nor original. I eat what I want, when I want. Especially on a holiday. Just because I run a paleo food blog doesn’t mean I’m not a human being. I know what foods will screw my stomach up, so I stay away from those, and basque in the ones that will only slightly mess me up. Like sugar. And alcohol. And sugary alcohol.

So let’s talk about the day:

8:30 – woke up and drank coffee with Laura

9:30 – mobility whining with Laura

10:00 – OHS strength then partner workout

12:30 – went to Whole Foods

1:00 – made paleo blueberry waffles with lemon custard for Laura and I. We ate that with a couple strips of bacon. Stupid good.

2:00 – went to the park to see some good looking people. This is where a Strongbow was consumed. Delicious. Then a 4th of July jello shot. That tasted disgusting. No offense Amanda, just the truth.

3:30 – went to a friends BBQ. Lots of bros around. But I definitely didn’t get hit on by any. Becaaaaaause they’re my friends. Dumb. But I did get thrown in the pool. And took Jake with me. Within this time frame, I had:

• 1 brat.
• part of a piece of steak.
• some sweet potato chips and tortilla chips in some guac.
• 1/2 Bud Light Lime because it tastes like dish soap.
• 2ish sangria type drinks.
• Oh I had a shot of vodka too. Damn you Krystle.
• I tasted a stupid small piece of brownie that made my tastebuds excited for only just 2 seconds.
• And then I split a naked cheeseburger with my friend Garrett. I gave him the bigger half. He’s a growing boy.

8:00 – Once we got home, Laura and I made some vodka sodas. I drank part of mine but then was just more interested in sleeping. Our friends Brian and Justin came over, but I wasn’t a very good host. I sat on my patio and barely moved. That’s how I think any holiday should be played out. Sitting and chatting.

So what you’ll mostly get from this day was I consumed a hearty amount of alcohol annnnnd not that much food. Alcohol is filling. I know people are going to hate me and not respect me once they see what my 4th looked like in food form, but I don’t care. Just not lying to any of you.

And if you already follow me on instagram @paleomg, you’ve seen all these pictures and you’re probably bored. Jokes on you!