What’s up with the picture for this blog post? I don’t know either. I just needed something and it was all that was going to work. I can’t put half naked pictures of myself on the title page and that seems to be all I have on my phone at this point. Did you just click that link thinking there would be naked pictures of myself on there? You creep.
This blog post is actually about what I ate yesterday. If you are bored already, I understand if you leave now. I’ll be sad though.
Thursday was an odd day, just in the fact that I didn’t eat breakfast. That seriously hardly NEVER happens, unless I decide to fast. Which usually doesn’t happen nowadays. Fasting makes me emotional. Last thing I need in my life is to be more emotional than I already am. Especially if I have a crush. Being a basket-case won’t make him attracted to me. Dating facts. I looked them up.
So I started my day off with an Americano with heavy cream around 8:30am. I drank a sip of the heavy cream before I poured it in my coffee. I always feel like people are looking at me at Starbucks when I do this. But they aren’t. No one gives a rats ass.
Then I worked out with Jason at 10:30am. Handstand push ups, front squats, and toes to bar. Then we did some partner fireman carries. That was fun. I didn’t know I could carry a grown man like that. Yay! After our workout, around 12:00pm, I drank down a protein shake with coconut water and Simply Pure Nutrients Chocolate Recovery Fuel. It was delicious.
Once I got home and began to marinate some short ribs for Friday, I finally ate a real meal which included some asparagus (probably 10-12 spears) grilled chicken (about 3.5 ounces) and 1/4 avocado, topped with hot sauce. Effing delicious. That meal never gets old. Asparagus consumption has been at an all time high. My pee smell is inappropriate. How I am suppose to pee in my crush’s house if my pee smells? I’m going to be alone forever after writing that last sentence.
Then I took a shower but didn’t wash my hair, but still had to use a hair dryer to dry the sweat from my hair. Classy.
Snack time!!! I had a mini meal around 3pm. It had about 2 ounces of chicken, some sauteed onions and mushrooms, and a little avocado. It was actually really delicious unlike the picture portrays.

Then I went to Whole Foods…weird. I don’t know why I love grocery stores so much, but I seriously do. So I wandered for a little, grabbed a water then made a little bag of dried figs. I ate probably 6 of those total spread throughout the next few hours while at work. I love those damn little things. They’re seriously like a drug to me. Or sex. Or sex on drugs. Oh crap. I just lost a few readers. Stop being mad please. I’m not into drugs.
Once I got home around 7:30pm, I was starving. So I first chowed down on a chocolate hazelnut butter packet then made my dinner of chicken, asparagus and avocado with hot sauce on top. If you’re wondering what it looked like, look up. It was exactly like lunch. And I ate it too fast to even get a picture in.
Then Sergio, Sarah, and I all went to Whole Foods to get Serge some din. And really, so I could get something sweet. Yes, I went to 2 different Whole Foods in a day. Normal occurrence. So we went directly to the bulk isle, which we do every single time, and Sergio grabbed some chocolate haystacks while I dug into a handful of dark chocolate walnuts. If I were to have children, I think they would be chocolate walnuts. Then I grabbed some Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips and an apple and went home and made this…

I sauteed some apples with cinnamon and salt and then threw them into some melted dark chocolate with coconut. No, I’m not on my period. I just needed chocolate. I felt like sh*t after though and I didn’t even finish the whole bowl. I felt like I dropped a bomb in my stomach. Don’t do it people, just don’t.
So after I couldn’t eat anymore sweets, I talked to Sergio about writing a guest post on the blog. How fun would that be? I’m thinking about doing some guest post Fridays. So you don’t just have to look at my boring food and obsessions with chocolate at night. It gets old.










It is in my enimitable experience nothing but a joy to read about someone else’s choc obsession and realize that you are not alone in your entirely innapropriate love of all things cacao. Frikkin theobromines….;) Keep up the stellar work!
You could say your picture choice is a little … off the wall. HEYOO.
BOOM!
Love this post…makes me laugh!
I love going to grocery stores, too. My husband and I can browse for hours… On another note, love your posts!
i almost choked twice eating my paleo meatloaf while reading this.
thanks for always providing entertaining and motivating content!
I’m prolly one of those weirdos who can eat a bunch (yes the entire bunch of 30+ spears) of asparagus and don’t have smelly urine. Either way I love asparagus big time. And I’m likely to create that ‘dog poo’ this weekend!
Tiffany,
I actually just read this study they did about asparagus pee. Hilarious right? Apparently it’s a gene people either have or don’t have that allows you to smell the asparagus smell. So, if you can’t smell it, your pee does still smell like asparagus pee, you just don’t have the gene that enables you to smell it. So everyone, your pee all stinks. End of story. Some are just blessed not to be able to tell. 🙂
I love all your posts and your sense of humor is amazing.
You could use my bathroom anytime. I also eat unlimited amounts of asparagus, lol
I’m new to paleo and new to your blog and I’ve got to say – you make me laugh. i like laughing. we could be friends. 🙂
You know it’s a problem when Nortstram now equals : Wholefoods……
Woman …you are pure crazy! Love your posts…want more half naked pictures! That motivates me too! Just had a chocolate semore on a grahm cracker with a marshmallow ….freeken three oclock am and woke up wanting it! I is crazy too! Thanks! And you wont always be single!