Triple Chocolate Protein Shake

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This was effing delicious. Like, super duper delicious. If you don’t try it, your life will not be complete. It was like having a milkshake. For breakfast. I love milkshakes. Who doesn’t though? Weirdos, that’s who.

Summer is coming guys. Well, it’s actually already here. I’m not prepared. I need clothes that people wear in the summer time. Like shorts. I’m not a fan of them though. And swim suits. Oh lord, swim suits. The other day, before I went wakeboarding, I had to go swim suit shopping. Not being able to judge anything I put on my body by myself, I took pictures and sent them to Laura to help me choose. That’s not embarrassing. Taking full body pics in dressing rooms, knowing that people can hear the snap shot and are judging you for sending dirty text messages. That’s what I was doing. Sexting Laura by sending half naked pics to her. Soon they will be all over the internet. Maybe my blog will get more hits that way. FINGERS CROSSED. Kidding, jesus.

It’s official. I hate back squats. Yes, yes I do. I shouldn’t be saying this because I’m coaching people through them while I do the same program on the side. But f*ck, back squats suck so bad. Especially since I’m not really good at them. They hurt….EVERYWHERE. And never stop hurting. I get kind of better at them, then the weight gets heavier, and I get worse. WHAT THE FUDGE.

Have you guys tried out Mix1 protein drinks? Probably not, because they’re not paleo, but they are delicious. They have quite a bit of sugar at them, so paleo purists, cover your eyes before you crap yourself and hate me. But if you are still cool with consuming whey and some sugar, it’s perfect for post workout protein drinks! Try it out. Pretty sugary but I’m down with that at times. Meaning a lot of the time. And if you’re still pooping yourself right now while you read the ingredients, grab yourself some coconut milk or almond milk and stop crying. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.


Triple Chocolate Protein Shake

  • Yield: 1 1x




  1. Add all ingredients into a blender or food processor.
  2. Mix until pureed and delicious.
  3. Drink it. Duh.

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PaleOMG Triple Chocolate Protein Shake



Stay hydrated, my friends:

pumpkin frappe

 Pumpkin Frappe in Juli Bauer’s Paleo Cookbook

Apple Pie Smoothie


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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.


45 thoughts on “Triple Chocolate Protein Shake”

  1. Love the shake! I put about 4 oz of canned coconut milk as well and sometimes an espresso shot to boot! Delicious! It’s a way for me to feel like I’m indulging in a good old fashioned latte without the dairy. I love your site and your sense of humor. Your recipes are fantastic! Thank you! I started a facebook page called Meals Made Easy to help people with food choices. I love it…it’s so much fun to help people and it’s humbling when you realize you are impacting people that you have never even met! Thank you again!

    1. This sounds delicious! I often use coconut milk instead of avocado, and add a little bit of cacao nibs for some texture. Cacao nibs are my new love. Also, instead of protein powder I use raw eggs.

  2. I’d never think to put an avocado in a shake, but I want to try this! I make a shake with almond butter (sometimes chocolate) almond milk (again, sometimes chocolate), cinnamon, banana, agave nectar, vanilla and protein powder. Oh my lordy it’ll change your life. Try it.

  3. God, bathing suit shopping. My thighs are huge–and I’m not just being one of those girls who think they’re fat even though they are a f**king size 0–like literally, I’ve got muscle for days. Let us know what one you chose! I need all the suggestions I can get because nothing ever seems to fit right/look good

  4. Hi! I wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading your posts. I particularly enjoy your use (and spelling!) of the word “effing”. pretty funny stuff 🙂 Love the recipes.

  5. Has anyone ever tried the Simply Pure Nutrient Synergy Protein powder? I am scared to buy a huge tub of it, if its gross 🙂


  6. Oh goodness, you are my comic relief for the day. The swim suit-sexting-thing cracked me up. I’m glad I am clearly not the only weirdo..and damn that’s what friends are for right?

  7. i hate bikinis, squats, and avocado. however, i’ll hide a bikini underneath a cover-up and hide an avocado in a shake! 🙂 i seriously try to choke them down b/c they’re so friggin’ nutritious but i just can’t – chocolate “milkshake” however, that i can do!
    thanks for the chuckles in the midst of a boring day!

  8. What is your max back squat? I just did them for the first time ever yesterday after a particularly rough WOD.

  9. My sister and I text each other pic’s from the dressing room all the time. When you need an honest opinion, what’s a girl to do?
    Love this smoothie recipe – will try it out this weekend after I get some more avocados.

  10. Have you ever tried Athleta swimsuits? Those are about the only ones I can wear due to my athletic build. They are made for athletes and they have some cute shorts if you don’t want to wear the bottoms….

  11. This recipe sounds delicious! In fact, every recipe you post is excellent… Thank you for all the great recipe ideas–it’s how I switched my family over to paleo. I’m sipping on the blueberry pumpkin shake with unsweetened cocoa added right now, but I can’t wait to try this one too!

  12. Hello! I’m still new to this Paleo thing but if I’m trying to lose weight, can I still drink a protien shake? (I also do CrossFit) Also, I looked at the protien poweder and it seems like a lot of sugar and carbs? Or is that fine since it’s a recovery shake? Sorry, just a tad confused here. I’m trying to lose a healthy 1-2lbs a week 🙂

    1. You want to have more of your carbs and sugar post workout, so yes, you can have protein shakes after a workout if you still want to lose weight 🙂

  13. I have lost 40lbs (1 have pics) on ViSalus Shakes in 90 days.
    These shakes mentioned here are very high in sugar and carbs. One Vi Shake is:
    <1g sugar
    2.5g fat
    9g carbs
    and over 100 different recipes. Kids, pregant women can take it. Oh and you can get it free every month if three friends start 90 day challenge with you.

  14. You hate to buy swim suits and shorts???? GAHHH

    Do ya know that I have emailed your pics to my friend to show her my new goal weight/shape? You’re my new same sex crush, and that’s not how I roll. So take that as a reeeaaally creepy compliment, but a compliment just the same! 🙂

  15. this is not paleo. If you are truly doing paleo you would not use those protein powders they have a sickening number of ingredients

  16. People really do love to tell you how much more faithful they are in the Paleo purity world, don’t they? I hope they shat themselves twice & had to change pants after reading you (gasp) included protein powder with sugar!

    Keep up the great work. You kick serious a$$ and have helped plenty of us, that aren’t d-bags, into enjoying the Paleo lifestyle. Hope you had a nice weekend, Juli!

  17. So I just started Paleo…I love it but am wanting to stay at 1200 calories….CEO you have nutritional info for your fod?

    1. no I don’t Cindi, I don’t tend to look at nutritional info, just try to eat well. i’ve heard spark people has a great nutritional info section that you can add ingredients to to find out the info

  18. Hey! I’m not a fan of avocados so I was wondering if the taste of it is hidden in it?
    Ps. Love your humor & your blog in general!!

  19. Perfect ending to my 40 mile bike ride. Yum!!! So bummed the Mix1 guys went out of business. I hoarded a bunch before they disappeared from the grocery store shelves. This smoothie is amazing! Thank you!

  20. I made this after my 2.5 mile run today, and it is just as amazing as you say! Instead of using the protein shake mix, I just used my almond milk, and I used 2 tbsp of the cacao powder instead of one, and just the protein powder I had on hand (vanilla soy). And it was still just beyond magnificent and delicious!

  21. Hi Gorgeous!
    Can I double up and use two servings/scoops of one kind of chocolate protein powder with the tablespoon of cocoa? Hoping it would be just as delicious….


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