I was in legit b*tch mode last week. I don’t know what the sh*t my problem was (no, it wasn’t that time of the month asshole) but I was not fun to be around. Ask Jake or Jason. Every day I would walk into the gym, I would right away be a burden to these guys. Especially since I cried through 2 of my workouts last week. Two. No, not like cried a little then sucked it up and went on with it, I cried throughout the ENTIRE workout. Crying while running blows monkey balls. It’s kind of hard to breath in Colorado already, so add crying to the equation, and sh*t gets real. The workouts weren’t even crazy hard. I was just sad and mad and upset and pissed…all at the same time. I get sad that my spandex shorts don’t fit like they used to, then I get mad that I didn’t PR on my lift, then I get upset that my waist doesn’t look smaller in my shadow while I’m running outside, then I get pissed that I just fell over while doing a pistol. Yes, that all happened during ONE workout. Yes, I’m dramatic. And yes, I felt like an idiot.
But I’m better this week. I’m ready to take on the world…whatever the hell that means. I drank a protein shake with coconut water the other day and officially felt 100% better about everything in life. Have you tried that? Do it. Do it now. Then comment on this post about how I’m seriously a genius and should be given free coconut water everyday by some company. Any kind will do. Other than the kind that’s mango…or pomegranate….or peach. All those taste like ass. And have weird added sugar to them. But coconut has become my go-to when I need something other than water. Kinda like when I used to drink energy drinks in college. I can’t believe I used to consume that straight up poison. I blame accounting class.
Oh I almost forgot to tell you, my face is pretty much done peeling. I guess I shed enough skin. Kinda like a snake. That’s effing gross dude. I guess it helped out my face a bit. It was mostly to get rid of scars and bring new light to new skin, but in the back of my mind I was definitely hoping my acne would suddenly clear up. I know, unrealistic expectations, but let me have them. They keep me positive. Like thinking eating mass quantities of chocolate covered walnuts won’t hurt my stomach. Am I high? Maybe.
So this recipe kinda made me think of pork, rice, and beans. I’ve told you about the restaurant D’Corazon in Downtown Denver before, and how their carnitas are to.die.for. And whenever I go there, I always end up eating the refried beans. I don’t really care about the rice, but the refried beans call my name. Beans + lard = F*ck yeah. Well, there isn’t really a paleo substitute for refried beans is there? So I made a carnitas-like dish with rice as the side. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. All you care about is if it tastes good. Well, it does. Like REAL good.
I just sneezed 6 times. Yes, six. F*ckin’ allergies.
Garlic Pork and Rice
- Yield: 6-8 1x
Ingredients
- 2lb pork rump roast, excess fat removed
- 6 garlic cloves, peeled
- 2 head of cauliflower, stem and leaves removed, roughly chopped
- 1 cup chicken broth
- 1 teaspoon ground cumin
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon pepper
Instructions
- Pull out your handy dandy crockpot AND food processor. If you still don’t have these items, rethink your life. Invest. Period.
- Use the shredding attachment on your food processor and run both heads of cauliflower through the food processor to rice it.
- Throw all your riced cauliflower in the crockpot along with your chicken broth.
- Add cumin and salt and pepper to your rice along with 3 garlic cloves.
- Now use a sharp knife to make 3 one inch cuts in the pork roast and push each clove into the roast cuts.
- Place roast on top of the cauliflower.
- Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours.
- Shred pork and mix with cauliflower rice! BOOM.
______________
You May Also Like:
______________
Click Here To Get All My PaleOMG Recipes Into Your Meal Planner With Real Plans!
I may be compensated through my affiliate links in this post, but all opinions are my own. This compensation helps with expenses to keep this blog up and running!
The Progenex guys at the Turkey Challenge introduced me to coconut water and protein and I can vouch that it’s a legit combo. However, for the sake of JuliB getting some free coconut water I will disregard my first introduction and claim Juli’s genius mind for coming up with such a delicious concoction!
haha Joe it wasn’t progenex that started it, i’ve been drinking protein powder and coconut water since birth!!
hey there ( I’m from Germany btw. yaa ze germans love meat)
I can totally relate to you. I cried like a baby for 2 days in a row for no reason. well, my life kinda sucks sometimes but hey, I usually have food to cheer me up. It’s the highlight of my day actually.
anyways, wanted to say that I love your blog. I don’t do crossfit, I’m an MMA fighter and because of YOU awesome darling girl, I started to do some crossfit workouts few times a week. It really helps me kick ass at what I do!
So…well, I guess, thank you for cooking delicious food and being the knight in shining armor that lead me to crossfit!
cheers from berlin!
this is AWESOME Anna!!! never did I EVER think I would be someone who inspired another to CrossFit, especially someone I don’t even know. thank you so sooo much for sharing. I hope that my recipes keep helping you out in the kitchen and CrossFit helps you kick ass in the gym!! keep being awesome Anna!!
This looks awesome!! My daughter is battling blood sugar problems and rice is major trigger food for her. The cauliflower rice would be a great substitute! I can’t wait to try this out.
Thanks!
Cauliflower rice has changed my world!!!
anytime you want/need to vent…you can email me or msg me girl…i get the same way! i totally understand and even tho i know we are somewhat strangers, i can be a good ear if you want someone unbiased or if the guys at your box just arent having it! keep your chin up, your body still rocks and i’m sure your skin has come a long way and will continue to get better w/ the more peels you do! :0)
You’re the best Dani 🙂
Mindf***ing yourself is so “in” right now, apparently. On a daily basis, these thoughts run through my head — “I wish I could gain some weight and be a total bada** mofo.” Two seconds later — “Good Lord, I’m such a fatty.” It’s one of the many benefits of being a woman.
Dude, I fell doing a pistol last week too. As my hubs would say, I looked like “a monkey trying to hump a football.” So, that’s good, right? No? Damn.
lol sounds like we’re going through the same crap Sara. Women’s minds really are pretty insane sometimes
I think you could have used a cuddle last week. Just saying. Hope you get one. Hope you get to feeling better. Oh yeah, also, I think you’re funny.
i love hugs. thanks Michael. you rock!
This recipe looks so good, along with all the others! I came across your site just a couple of days ago from the Again Faster fb page. I started reading and thought “OMG this girl is effing awesome.” I needed some new recipes for our Paleo challenge that we are doing at our box here in MA. They all look so yummy! I am going to make one of them tomorrow.
Anyway, I have been doing CrossFit for 5 months now and love it. I’m not totally badass yet, still losing the weight first, which has been awesome (and I’ve been trying for the past 5 yrs since my first son was born). But one day I will reveal my muscles.
Just wanted to say that I love you site and look forward to your posts, and your sense of humor!
There’s that moment in Garden State when Natalie Portman does the “one completely original thing that no one else in the entire universe has ever done before.” That moment for me was thinking that I had the patent on shakin’ up my protein shake with Coconut Water instead of that shizz from the tap.
Come to find out, you are my coconut water mixing doppleganger from Denver.
You’d. Better. Work. <3
I just finished the last of my pork roast and bought another one yesterday. Crockpot pork is the best!
More than half the women in my box can’t even do a pistol if that’s any consolation. And everyone falls doing them every once and a while. I love your blog because you tell it as it is. Everyone has struggles, everyone has bad days and everyone has good days. Your ability to say this week I am better and ready to conquer the world is a testament to your character and how much of a strong badass woman you are – NOT that you cried. Everyone does. Denying it makes you weak.
Also did I mention I love your blog? Also I Make coco water smoothies ALL the time. My reason for living. Any zico, amy and brian or ONE coconut water people out there? if so JB is freakin awesome and needs some coco water delivered to her doorstep!!!
PS i like your carpet
oooo I LOVE Amy and Brian’s coconut water with pulp. best.sh*t.ever. still haven’t tried it with smoothies…that sounds AMAZING!! Thanks for being so incredibly kind and damn awesome! thanks for liking my carpet 🙂