I was in legit b*tch mode last week. I don’t know what the sh*t my problem was (no, it wasn’t that time of the month asshole) but I was not fun to be around. Ask Jake or Jason. Every day I would walk into the gym, I would right away be a burden to these guys. Especially since I cried through 2 of my workouts last week. Two. No, not like cried a little then sucked it up and went on with it, I cried throughout the ENTIRE workout. Crying while running blows monkey balls. It’s kind of hard to breath in Colorado already, so add crying to the equation, and sh*t gets real. The workouts weren’t even crazy hard. I was just sad and mad and upset and pissed…all at the same time. I get sad that my spandex shorts don’t fit like they used to, then I get mad that I didn’t PR on my lift, then I get upset that my waist doesn’t look smaller in my shadow while I’m running outside, then I get pissed that I just fell over while doing a pistol. Yes, that all happened during ONE workout. Yes, I’m dramatic. And yes, I felt like an idiot.
But I’m better this week. I’m ready to take on the world…whatever the hell that means. I drank a protein shake with coconut water the other day and officially felt 100% better about everything in life. Have you tried that? Do it. Do it now. Then comment on this post about how I’m seriously a genius and should be given free coconut water everyday by some company. Any kind will do. Other than the kind that’s mango…or pomegranate….or peach. All those taste like ass. And have weird added sugar to them. But coconut has become my go-to when I need something other than water. Kinda like when I used to drink energy drinks in college. I can’t believe I used to consume that straight up poison. I blame accounting class.
Oh I almost forgot to tell you, my face is pretty much done peeling. I guess I shed enough skin. Kinda like a snake. That’s effing gross dude. I guess it helped out my face a bit. It was mostly to get rid of scars and bring new light to new skin, but in the back of my mind I was definitely hoping my acne would suddenly clear up. I know, unrealistic expectations, but let me have them. They keep me positive. Like thinking eating mass quantities of chocolate covered walnuts won’t hurt my stomach. Am I high? Maybe.
So this recipe kinda made me think of pork, rice, and beans. I’ve told you about the restaurant D’Corazon in Downtown Denver before, and how their carnitas are to.die.for. And whenever I go there, I always end up eating the refried beans. I don’t really care about the rice, but the refried beans call my name. Beans + lard = F*ck yeah. Well, there isn’t really a paleo substitute for refried beans is there? So I made a carnitas-like dish with rice as the side. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. All you care about is if it tastes good. Well, it does. Like REAL good.
I just sneezed 6 times. Yes, six. F*ckin’ allergies.
Garlic Pork and Rice
- Yield: 6-8 1x
Ingredients
- 2lb pork rump roast, excess fat removed
- 6 garlic cloves, peeled
- 2 head of cauliflower, stem and leaves removed, roughly chopped
- 1 cup chicken broth
- 1 teaspoon ground cumin
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon pepper
Instructions
- Pull out your handy dandy crockpot AND food processor. If you still don’t have these items, rethink your life. Invest. Period.
- Use the shredding attachment on your food processor and run both heads of cauliflower through the food processor to rice it.
- Throw all your riced cauliflower in the crockpot along with your chicken broth.
- Add cumin and salt and pepper to your rice along with 3 garlic cloves.
- Now use a sharp knife to make 3 one inch cuts in the pork roast and push each clove into the roast cuts.
- Place roast on top of the cauliflower.
- Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours.
- Shred pork and mix with cauliflower rice! BOOM.
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Holy $h&*tballs I’m no longer the only person on the planet who’s cried during a workout!! Yeah, that’s not embarrassing at all when it happens. But I gotta be honest, misery (and humiliation?) loves company, and it makes me feel better to know there are other people with that specific brand of neuroses. Love your blog, keep it up!
Iris I’ve seen MANY people cry in wods, many many. You are not alone!! keep up the hard work!
new favorite post-WOD snack = a can of light coconut milk mixed with a scoop of cocoa flavored ignite naturals extreme energy. it tastes like heaven!
http://ignitenaturals.com/in-extreme-energy.php
If it makes you feel any better…I can’t do a pistol yet and my thighs are four times bigger than yours…that, in my mind, means I should be squatting those mother effers out like nothing. Oh well, at least we have something to improve on right, otherwise you’d be perfect and then where would you be!?!? 😉
Nice carpet JB.
Oh, and we need to do dinner, like ASAP!
Hahaha perfect huh? I don’t think so!!! Dinner absolutely needs to be in our plans!
I am going to go buy me a butt to try this over the weekend.
Have you tried this one?: http://pinterest.com/pin/246149935853195498/
it is crazy ass good.
Your blog is great. If i had motivation and follow through i would have a paleo bog with a similar jaded cynical sense or humor.
Thanks so much Amy!! I haven’t tried those carnitas that Kait made, but they looks AWESOME!!
JB, last year my husband’s dermatologist prescribed a cream that he would produce a chemical peel after 10 days of application. By day 7 or 8 he looked so bad and was in such pain I handed him a jar of coconut oil and told him to start applying it topically. Within two days the sores and the angry red color had disappeared and he continued to improve over the next couple of days. I had been taking photos of him as the peel progressed, but the difference before and after the coconut oil was amazing.
Love your blog.
That’s super interesting Barbara! I’ll have to keep that in mind for my next chemical peel! Thanks for the info!
This is getting made tomorrow. Yum. Thanks.
Let me know how it turns out!!
Coconut water rules, tried protein powder + coconut water about 2 weeks ago.
Dunno if that means i invented but its good
Throw in a spoonful of cacao powder & you’re really onto a good thing
yummmm!! sounds good!
Um, I think we may have been separated at birth. I LOVE ur blog and it is just what I was looking for to inspire me to cook more paleo (which I find to be a big fat pain in the ass most of the time. Dont even ask about the paleo birthday cake i made for my husband last year. Not. Good.) and to motivate me in CF. Found u off of the CFLakewood site, which is my gym now. I am a total newbie and keep thinking I’m going to puke or cry every. single. time. that I walk into the place. Everyone there is completely supportive and the coaches rock but I can’t help getting freaked out. Reading your blog has made me feel like I can totally do this even with the OOC crying. So thanx for being so honest it means more than u know to your readers. And PLEASE keep swearing every freakin other word because it is too much fun to read. ps… U had me at “food hoarder”
Glad you like my blog La!! CFL has absolutely amazing coaches, I have some really good friends there! And don’t worry, everyone is feeling THE EXACT same way that you are when they walk into the gym, it’s always frightening, no matter how experienced the CrossFitter. Keep kicking butts at CFL and hopefully I can help you make a much better paleo cake for your husband this year 🙂
Cauli rice in the slow cooker? Genius! I’ve been meaning to make it, but hate dragging out the skillet (I’m lazy…shut up)…
I never thought about it either!! Try it out, so much easier!
There’s a pretty big variety of coconut waters. What’s your favorite and what’s the difference between all of them?
My favorite is Amy and Brians Coconut Juice with pulp, i just think it tastes the best but there is vitacoco, zico, and a ton of other ones out there. just stay away from the ones with added sugars and flavorings in them!