I have been waiting for this moment – to be featured in Juli’s blog! You know you have made it when she asks you to write for her, and you probably have, except for me, because I basically told her I was writing something and she should post it. True story.
But the real reason I ever started thinking about writing something was in part due to the liberation that Crossfit has given me as a woman and I wanted to share that with others that may relate to it. And I have seen enough comments throughout Juli’s website to know there are both men and women out there that can relate to, or at least appreciate, some of the things that Crossfit does for women.
My story is nothing exceptional; I bought a Crossfit groupon in November 2011 out of sheer desperation to try some new fad that would cure my monster thighs. Here is where my naiveté probably saved me, because I had no idea what I was doing or what I was about to embark on. The coaches (enter my friends Juli, Sergio and a lot of other awesome people) had fun socks and donned awesome sunglasses and headbands so it seemed cool. For the most part, I never thought it was anything more than a gym with some weird workouts where people grunted. I never thought it would rock me to my core.
Most of my life I have spent time looking in mirrors because one day, long ago, I decided I was fat. I am not sure if it was because of the gym teacher in high school who told me I wouldn’t be able to do a pull up unless I lost weight, or if it was because of my peers that told me I wasn’t fast enough to be on their jail-break team. Regardless, it was something I lived with for years, and it consumed me.
Did you know that recent studies have found that more than 90% of girls want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance, with body weight ranking the highest? Most of the girls surveyed were teenagers – and true to statistics, that was the point in my life when I was standing in front of a mirror, saying horrible things to myself.
I’m not here to complain about the size of my thighs, although they are pretty beefy; and I am not here to tell you about the size of my ass, although it really should be insured like J-Lo’s; I am just here because I figured something out, and I have Crossfit to thank for that. Crossfit, ever so slowly, changed the way I thought of myself. I didn’t notice it at first, but eventually instead of looking in the mirror and critiquing myself, I was looking at my reflection and smiling. Who knew I could toss around 150lbs like it’s nothing? I had no idea that I could run a mile faster than 10 minutes…let alone almost under 7! And did I mention that not only can I do a pull-up, I did a WOD with 50 AND I weigh more than I did when I was in my high school gym class? BOOM!
The thing is, Crossfit has allowed me to become someone I never knew I could be, both physically and mentally. It has opened my mind to so many more possibilities. If I can do this, and make it through, what else can I do? There’s a personal sense of pride knowing that I am part of a community that values strength, determination and passion. As a woman that has spent years trying to fit into a mold that is not realistic, I finally have found comfort in knowing that my muscles, athleticism and sweat are in good company in my Crossfit gym.
There is something even more liberating knowing that my muscles are not only attractive features, but critical components for me to function. No longer do I see myself as a bigger woman, I’m a strong and capable athlete. No longer do I look at my thighs and wish for twig legs – how will they help me get to my goal of a 300lb deadlift? Gone are the days thinking that I needed to eat nothing so I could fit in a dress, how would I be able to crush a hero WOD if I never ate anything?
For years I told myself that I can’t, but now, I have never felt more capable, strong and sexy then when I am finishing a WOD and writing my score on the white board. I have found something that makes me know I can, and that I will be able to complete the unthinkable, whether it’s a WOD or something else in life. I finally, after years appreciate the strength in my muscles, the sweat pouring down my brow and the gratitude I feel knowing my body can do what I am asking it to do.
It is for all these things that I am thankful for people like Juli and the amazing coaches and athletes I meet along the way. Because they also know this little secret, that it is not really Crossfit that makes us who we are, it’s that we are the people that make Crossfit the sport it is today. And I am damn proud to be a Crossfit athlete – with my monster thighs!
this was my favorite guest pod to date! the others were great too, however, i can really relate to jenny and her story. i also LOVE that the first picture is in the badass GREEN (shout out to my box ALPINE!!!!) holla!
i meant guest post, not pod 🙂
LOVE THIS!!!!!!! Your story is my story, and the story of sooooo many beautifully strong CF women out there!!!! This is EXACTLY why I became a coach, I wanted to liberate and celebrate girls who were never “good enough” 🙂 Jenny you’re amazing, and I can’t wait to share this with all the girls at out box!!!!! You made my day 🙂 keep it up sister!!!!!!!!
I was just thinking something very similar the other day. CrossFit has completely changed my relationship with my body. Although it has made me look better, I don’t really care what I look like anymore – I care about what my body can DO and how much weight I can put on the bar and how much I can improve my WOD times. That is why I try to get all my girlfriends to try CrossFit – the world would be a better place if we could all think like this!
The title really got me because I can relate, my usual label for my legs is “thunder thighs.” The message was inspiring and an uplifting reminder that we need to love our bodies. My sister use to always say to me…”you should always have a physical goal that makes you realize how weak you are, therefore when you accomplish it you have grown as a person in mind and body” …the beautiful thing about CrossFit is it does exactly that 🙂
T
Jenny and Juli, what an awesome post! Jenny, you summed it up like a boss – it’s so much greater to look at our bodies as strong and capable and be proud of them, rather than insulting them all the time…they can accomplish amazing things, and I echo you in feeling that CF has gotten me to a place of appreciating that.
And Lela, a kid in high school told me that I had thunder thighs and I was pissed. I’m glad that I was confident enough at the time to know he was crazy, but it still isn’t something that I’ve ever forgotten, so it must have bugged me at least a little. Now my thighs are stronger, harder and BIGGER than they were then, and I’m grateful for them every day. 🙂
My roommates think that I’m nuts when I come home talking up the latest WOD, but I feel lucky that I’m in a place of body acceptance, and badly that they’re constantly talking about and stressing about food. I preach how awesome CF is all the time – it’s heartening that more and more women are getting on board with the mentality that being strong is amazing!
love it.
WORD!! That totally resonated with me…I recently wrote the following about my experience with CrossFit….Being the youngest of three children, we were always told “you’re not athletic”. None of us played or even tried sports because “we weren’t athletic”. I took dance from age 5-17, but never competitively, just one hour once a week, but again no interest or “ability” to play sports. Gym class was always a painful experience. Running, jumping, throwing, catching were things I approached with dread and zero confidence. When I started CrossFitting, for the first time in my life I was referred to as an “athlete”. With a little time I began to embrace the title and the role. CrossFit has allowed me to be something I had always thought I wasn’t and do things I always thought I couldn’t. The things I once feared I now see as a challenge and I approach them with determination and confidence to do and be better because CrossFit has taken away “I can’t” and shown me “I can!”
Jen, I can totally relate to this. My mom still tells me I have “small bones” and shouldn’t be lifting heavy things. It’s a hard mindset to shake from being told this all your life.
Crossfit has given me the tools to help teach my girls that they are strong and can do anything. I can only really do this by example.
This was a great post, and I agree with an above poster, GO GIRLS!
We were just talking about this at my gym the other day. How, since starting Crossfit, a group of girls have changed from having zero self confidence and bad body image to wearing short shorts even though we have cellulite because we feel so supported within our CF community and we know how badass we are. Since I’ve started eating Paleo and heading to the gym more often, I’ve seen a dramatic change in my body but it’s also my mind and the image I have of myself that has changed. I see someone getting strong and that’s way more important that the little bit of muffin top I have left to lose. I’ve never been a gym person (I’m a former dancer and I teach yoga) but I’m ADDICTED to Crossfit and I can’t wait to go to the gym and slug it out. I’ve been watching all the Crossfit Games footage the last couple of days and I’m feeling so inspired by all those women who are so effing strong and ripped and gorgeous! Thanks for sharing Jenny!
2 thumbs up on shorts even if we still have cellulite!!! I to just recently became comfortable wearing them again.
Everyone has already noted everything I would have commented about this post. It is just awesome. I’ve gain 7 lbs of muscle and loving every pound of it b/c its made my living my life so much easier!! I used to cringe at the scale. I honestly haven’t been on it in 6 months and just decided to look. A year ago it would have consumed me, this time……I didn’t even care.
this. is. friggin. AMAZEBALLS. I love this post so SO much.
Get it girl!
Awesome!