YAAAAAAAAAAAAS. The Bachelorette season has begun! With the lovely JoJo and her great boobs and doe eyes. She’s adorbs. And this season looks like it’s going to be EPIC. Here’s a question for you. In the bachelor/bachelorette contracts, do you think it notes that they have to keep a couple people that the producer thinks are worth keeping at the beginning. Like Daniel. Remember Daniel from Monday night? The vampire looking man from Vancouver whose occupation was: Canadian. He took his pants and shirt off to flex and to show off with baby man underwear on. Only David Beckham should wear that underwear. It should be a rule. Anywho, I feel like they are forced to keep those people in order to keep up with ratings. It has to be. JoJo seems like a smart girl, she wouldn’t keep the vampire if she didn’t have to, right?
Ok, let’s first talk about Aaron Rogers brother. I keep calling him that and feel like a real d*ck for it, so that will be my last time. You know Jordan, the guy who use to play pro football and has the same haircut as Sean from Kaitlin’s season? You know what I’m talking about. Well, Jordan is a real looker. The only thing I would prefer him to reevaluate is his choice in pant size. In his intro video, I could see the outline of his calves. Which were nice, of course. But why can’t that be a surprise when his pants come off? Leave that show for a special moment. And I say this when my husband wears decently tight pants. I think Jordan could wear just one size larger and we would still be intrigued by his lovely lovely figure. I kind of want him to make it all the way. Is it too soon to say that? I don’t care, I’m saying it anyways!
I also like Christian, the one who is raising his brothers, he’s a doll face. Other than the fact he wakes up at 3:30am. Only crazy people do that. Straight up. His cortisol levels are going to f*ck him over someday. Someone needs to tell him. Unless he’s going to sleep at 6pm. If that’s the case, no wonder he’s still single. But other than that, he’s so cute.
I can’t wait to see how the steroid freak guy goes crazy later on! Did you watch the preview of what’s to come on the show? Chris Harrison is talking to the hairy guy, saying how the guy’s violence is out of control, and his shoulder veins are just pulsing with anticipation of killing someone. Or at least that’s how I saw it. I love how the producers turn a person into the villain, it’s the best. I wish I could be a fly on the wall and watch all the weird and fake sh*t that goes down. Did you see how they weren’t finishing until sunrise the next morning. Can you imagine sipping on drinks that whole night? You either sip on drinks or you fall asleep and miss your talking time with JoJo. It’s pretty much a lose-lose situation there. Man, I love realty tv!! I CAN’T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK!!!!!
Mint Limeade Cooler
- Yield: 4-6 1x
Ingredients
- zest of 2 limes
- juice of 4 limes (1/2 cup)
- 1/3 – 1/2 cup honey
- 1/3 cup mint leaves
- 4 cups ice cold water, divided
- ice
- lime wedges
- liquid stevia (optional)*
Instructions
- Place lime zest, juice, honey, mint leaves and 2 cups of water in a high speed blender and blend until completely mixed. Strain through a sieve to remove any excess pulp.
- Add mixture to a pitcher then add the other 2 cups of water, ice and extra lime wedges. Mix to combine and serve immediately. (If saving for later, do not mix with ice because it will water it down)
Notes
If you want to add alcohol to this, do it! You’re an adult, you decide. Gin or vodka would be great for this!
*I added gin and some stevia extract to this drink for a baseball night last week and it was delicious! You don’t need the extra sugar if you don’t want, but I preferred the taste!
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Yaaaaay Bachelorette season! I def think they make them keep some of the true creepers around. Jojo looked like she didn’t want to hand him that rose after she called his name. Gross. I have a bad feeling about Jordan but he be looking goooooood! I’m glad you said you like Christian! I felt like I was the only one.
I may have to make this the adult way for viewing next Monday. 😉
Haha, I loveee Bachelorette season! I was telling my bf on Monday that I’d probably be asleep on a couch somewhere in that mansion – I’m notorious for my early bedtime, and there’s no way I’d make it til dawn! Whew!
I haven’t watched the Bachelor / Bachelorette for the last few seasons but thanks to your hilarious recaps I don’t even need to. I look forward to these every week when the show is in season!
Where are those palm glasses from? So cute!
I was so determined to NOT watch this season and take a break from the trashy TV, but who am I kidding… I am so hooked after that first episode. I think this season is going to make for some amazing television! JoJo just isn’t my favorite, but some of the guys they have are so crazy that I need to see how it all turns out. 🙂
Don’t watch the Batch shows, but… can we talk about the pitcher and glasses in your photos? Love them!! Also, I can’t wait to try this drink – Iove mint 🙂
Hahaha! You said exactly everything I was thinking regarding the Bachelorette. I wish I had JoJo’s boobs to flaunt like that!
Where did you get your glasses? I love the leaves.
i linked the glasses at the bottom of this post actually!
I was trying so hard to resist this season but of course I watched it! What is with all these unemployed men? Anyway, the scoop on this Aaron Roger’s bro is that he cheated on his ex and she is blasting it on IG…I follow this chick not knowing anything about her dating history, but saw it on Monday night and was like whoa! They were talking about it on the radio this morning too … of course he has a shady past, so who knows. Are there any decent men out there?? Anyway, love this drink and the pitcher too … it’ll be perfect for this weekend! Thanks for sharing!!
yes, there are, they just aren’t going on a reality tv show to find love hahaha. omg i need to hear more about this ex gf drama. yesssssss!
I wasn’t sure if I was going to watch the bachelorette this season, but now after this, I’m suck back in.!! Maybe because I was hoping to see Caila as the new bachelortte, but JoJo seems great too. Anyways that drink looks so refreshing, I’m going to make in this weekend. Thanks!
Ugh.. I hate that I LOVE the Bachelor/Bachelorette. I actually enjoy the Bachelorette better because I can’t stand watching a full season of girls b*tching at one another.. now, testosterone? Sign me up, brahhh.
Have you ever listened to the podcast “Here to Make Friends”? It’s SUPER good and the girls recapping the show are full of fun snark!!
Can’t wait to see this season pan out. I’m definitely rooting for Christian, Jordan, and Robby.
I just started watching the bachelorette again after not having seen it the last few years and I was wondering the SAME thing about if their contract says they have to keep rando creeps on just for the drama! I’m convinced they must have to! Cannot wait to try this recipe btw, it looks delish!