Let me know if this sounds anything like you –
- Monday through Sunday afternoon, your diet is absolutely perfect. You could not have eaten cleaner.
- Friday night rolls around and you’re ready for an EPIC CHEAT MEAL so you have everything you’ve been thinking about all week – pizza, cake, cookies, ice cream, take-out.
- Saturday comes around and you don’t feel like total crap yet, but you’re still craving different types of food, so you keep the cheat party going! You order Chinese food and you go diving into a box of Oreo’s.
- Sunday is finally here and you know you gotta clean it up, BUT Monday is the start of your clean eating week, so you say f*ck it and eat and drink whatever the hell you want. Sunday Funday, right?
- Monday is here. Man do you feel like sh*t now.
When I’m writing you throughout all of those last sentences, I’m actually thinking about myself and my previous behaviors. Maybe this sounds nothing like you and you cannot connect with it, but if I went through it, I’m guessing some of you have or continue to.
I think the weekend downfall all has to do with personality types and figuring out what yours is. For me, restricting myself and telling myself I couldn’t have something Monday-Friday meant I was ready to rebel by Friday night. Telling myself that I was only allowed “cheat meals” on weekends not only put a negative outlook on food itself, but it made me want to rebel against myself. I became my own worst enemy. It’s sometimes hard to explain, but in a shortened version – restricting myself just led to binging later on. It led to my weekend downfall, week after week after week. And this continued for years. I would tell myself I couldn’t have something because it was bad for me, then I would fixate on it and want it 10x more. And because of this, I held on to excess weight and I was never able to find balance or real happiness in my day-to-day life.
When I decided to cut this behavior out and I stopped telling myself I couldn’t have something until the weekend, a few things happened –
- I stopped craving foods I didn’t really like that much
- I stopped craving sugar as much
- I stopped thinking constantly about what I would eat on the weekend
- I finally lost weight
- I enjoyed life more because I ate what I wanted, when I wanted (like the adult I was)
When I was so restrictive during the week, all I could think about was food. I obsessed over it to the point that my life revolved around it. And it was exhausting. I would spend the week being as strict as possible only to ruin that hard work on the weekend. And not only was I ruining my hard work physically, but I was halting my progress mentally.
If this sounds like you, it may be worth looking into a different strategy. And it may be worth thinking through your personality type. If restriction doesn’t work with your personality, accept it. You shouldn’t have to constantly think about the weekend, you should be enjoying every day leading up to it. The weekend doesn’t have to be your downfall, it can simply be another great couple days of your week! Hopefully my experience from the past can help with your future!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies framework and her other related work on habits and happiness, particularly moderator vs. abstainer :). Her podcast (“Happier with Gretchen Rubin”) from Sept 23rd called “A Deep Dive into the ‘Four Tendencies’ Personality Framework” gives a great overview of the bulk of her work. GR’s work has been instrumental in helping me identify tips and tricks that will and will not appeal to my own tendency and other personality aspects, and also how to communicate, lead and direct others more effectively. Along with Love Languages this work has been LIFE CHANGING.
From my perspective your advice is great for Moderators and Upholders who lean Obliger :).
I sound like a paid hack but am not, just a GR fan who has also enjoyed following you for many years.
Love what I can see of your kitchen. Hopefully you’ll give us a house tour once you get it all put together. My husband and I just purchased a home and we are redoing the inside. I could use some inspiration.
Behaviors around eating are so interesting! I do a lot better by abstaining all week or longer from cheats/treats and allowing myself those things at planned times. I’ve gone off the rails time and time again by allowing myself to stray too far from meat, veggies and fat all the dang time. I think some people are better as moderators and others as abstainers (me). It takes time to figure these things out, but man is it worth it!!
I’m mostly with you Annette! More abstainer than moderator. It’s easier for me. But I think GR has found that more people are moderators and they also tend to feel they’re more right – and morally right. I find freedom in being completely free of X – whatever I know doesn’t serve me. Just having X sometimes actually means that the X still weighs on my mind and I start either making excuses to have X all the time or obsess about when I *can* have it.
A bright line is easier for me than a mushy one. I was a vegetarian for a decade with no bacon slip ups until I decided to go mostly paleo and it wasn’t hard. I decided to give up alcohol for a year and here I am 11 months later and it’s been way easier than moderating.
Also as a GR Rebel who leans Questioner I personally tend toward “fringe-y” stuff that is on the leading edge of science and ahead of common thought. It’s an identity thing.
Anyway. It’s fascinating. Once I learned I was more of an abstainer and that I wasn’t morally deficient or lacked willpower I leaned into it and am much happier understanding my self in that way.
I’m a rebel too! Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy that’s for sure
I just love these Motivation Monday posts!! Keep ‘em coming!!
you got it!
yes to all of this! it’s so liberating to eat whatever i want, whenever i want. i never feel like i have to crush the pint of ice cream because i won’t allow myself to have it again anytime soon. i don’t waste energy talking myself out of eating things and i’ve lost weight and maintained a consistent weight.
also, can you talk to me about your shoes (slippers?) in your picture?! i love them!
i’m the exact same way!! i rarely crave foods anymore now that i know I can have them whenever I want!
I love these posts! I am having podcast withdrawal though. ?
i definitely plan to share a new podcast episode soon!