I’m mad. Like, really f*cking mad. Ok, that’s a lie, I don’t really get mad, I just get sad. So, I’m really f*cking sad. My face was finally getting better, finally looking like something was changing and my face was starting to play nice, but NO. No, no,no. It ain’t playin’ nice no mo’. My face has freaked out. Like OMG Ihateyousomuchjuli. Iwantyoutostaysingleforever. Andidefinitelydontwantanyonetofindyouattractive. Ever.
You, my face, are a straight up b*tch.
Ugh, I’m going to get so many emails about my dirty mouth now. I’ll save you the time…please don’t send them.
Anywho, I’m having one of those days of feeling absolutely hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I clean up my diet and it gets a little bit better, then it goes back to normal. I change up my face cleansing routine and it gets a little better, then goes back to normal. I get off birth control, I stay on birth control. I take fish oil, I don’t take fish oil. I eat more fat, I eat less fat. I don’t eat dark chocolate, I do eat dark chocolate. I get facials, I don’t get facials. You get what I’m throwin’ out? I try everything, but in the end my face has full control, and I am left staring in the mirror with tears in my eyes, choking back the egg of frustration that sits in my throat.
Just today, I started taking the probiotic saccharomyce boulardii which was recommended by Liz of Cave Girl Eats. I also am getting cod liver oil soon to start trying that as well. And making sure all sugar and nuts are cut from my diet. It’s just so annoying that my mind has to be filled with thoughts of how ugly I am or how I wish I could improve my skin. That’s dumb. It should be filled with cookbook thoughts, and Christmas gift thoughts, and food thoughts. But no, the face has won.
So here’s my question out of utter frustration and anguish…do I try acutane? Do I face the fact that I may be incredibly depressed, moody, and upset for months because of the drug? Do I face the fact that I may have to take the drug even though my face and other body parts will literally dry up and peel off? Do I face the fact that it may not even work? I don’t know what to do, but I’m obviously upset enough to blab all about it and want some of your advice. So, advise me.
On a more positive note, you NEED to try these muffins. They are DELICIOUS.
Morning Glory Muffins (nut free option)
- Yield: 9 1x
Ingredients
- 1 apple, peeled and cored, shredded
- 1 large carrot, peeled
- 1/2 cup sunflower seed butter
- 1 cup pepitas
- 3 eggs, whisked
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/4 cup raisins
- 1/4 cup pecans, roughly chopped (optional for nut free version)
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Now add your pepitas to a small saucepan over medium heat with a tablespoon of fat. I used coconut oil.
- Cook for 3-5 minutes, moving around lots so they don’t burn and so they cook on all sides.
- While your pepitas are roasting, add your apple and carrot to your food processor with the shredding attachment. If you don’t have a food processor, use a grater to shred your apple and carrot.
- Add your apple and carrot to a bowl along with your sunflower seed butter and rinse out your food processor bowl.
- Then add your roasted pepitas to the food processor and puree until you get a flour/meal.
- Then add your pepita flour, eggs, coconut oil, honey, raisins, pecans, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda. Mix well.
- Pour your batter into 9 FULL muffin liners in your muffin tin. I lined my muffins tin with silicone muffin liners but paper would do just fine.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes until cooked through.
- Let cool slightly, but eat warm, because they are the best that way.
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More Nut Free Muffins:
Apple Cinnamon Muffins (nut free)
Chocolate Chip Protein Muffins (nut free)
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I feel your pain, but do NOT do the drugs! I am 38 and have only this year figured out what my acne problem was from and since I’ve figured it out i have no issues. I used to get the cystic acne all over my chin that would not go away. I almost always had a cystic zit or two on my face. I went to doctor after doctor and they all said it was hormone related, but couldn’t tell me why or what to do about it. I finally had a naturopath that i started seeing this year and she tested my vitamin D levels and i was super low. Like 17. Even though i take cod liver oil. and live in Arizona. Go figure. I started seriously supplementing with vitamin D and my face has been great. But, if I stop even for 2 days I will break out. I don’t know if this is your problem, but try getting your levels checked and see if it might be. Good luck! I recently found your blog and you rock!
Cut out meat, grains, dairy. Seriously. Eat fruits, vegetables and healthy fats from avocados. Detox your body and regulate your hormones with natural plant-based-hormone-free foods. A natural path told me this a few years ago, and now my skin is 100% cystic acne free and literally glows 🙂 For the first time in my life I dont have to wear makeup to hide anything. I know you’re ‘paleo’ (duhhhhh) but try and detox for at least 2 weeks (6 is optimal) and then slowly introduce foods back in (if you wish). I may not eat paleo but I read your blog because you’re a beautiful, funny person. All the best!
Juli – look at how many people love you girl! I haven’t read all the comments ( so much love!) so sorry if i repeat myself but :
DO NOT TAKE THE DRUGS. You are doing well.
I recommend the above with seeing an ND/ homeopathic doctor. there is probably something totally unrelated going on that it is affecting.
Also – you are doing all the right things but i feel like you are not giving long enough for it to work. We all have been there, months where are so angry at ourselves bc of our skin, I used to just not look in the mirror because it made me upset. It took me MONTHS of paleo and trying the coco oil / ACV method. Keep trying it. dont stop, and keep up with squeaky clean paleo, as you go see an ND. just dont give up and switch before it has time to work. Its a long process. stay strong!!
Ok. Way too many comments for me to have read everything here, so forgive me if I am redundant.
Firstly, as ridiculously frustrating as acne is, remember you are still beautiful and have MANY enduring qualities that deserve your positive acknowledgement. Now on to talking about the issue…
Working on diet is a step in the right direction when it comes to acne. Acne, for many, is a result of bacteria that meets poor quality fat (sebum production in skin) & inflammation. Probiotics are absolutely a great addition to helping balance your gut, your inflammation and even your hormones. However, for your individual case, much more may be needed to get your gut on track, your hormones balanced and that acne tamed. It sounds like you’ve already got the idea that removing sugar, grains and other inflammatory foods can help, but you must be diligent about it. Ugh! I know that’s not very fun at times.
You are right that accutane has its side effects and you should consider those when choosing to go on a medication. While it may take care of the symptoms of the acne, the question is, why do you have persistent acne? Our skin is a reflection of what is happening on the inside. Your acne may be a clue to a deeper imbalance.
I know how frustrating acne can be as I work with many people in helping them resolve theirs. I’ve gone through my share as well.
Ok. Now I am off to make this amazing recipe. I love your recipes and I love what you do. I appreciate you sharing and want you to know that I always look forward to your concoctions.
Three things I can recommend that have really helped me:
Get a Clairisonic. They are pricey but once you break down and spend the money it really will become your favorite skincare thing ever. It does make the skin break out a little bit at first, but this doesn’t happen to everyone. You know, the whole it gets worse before it gets better.
Use a prescription retinol product. Epiduo is what my Dermatologist prescribed me. There are lots of different ones, though.
Lastly, if you’re taking supplements, make sure they don’t contain Biotin. I was taking a hair and nail growth supplement which contained Biotin and my skin FREAKED out. I did a little research and apparently Biotin can cause pretty heinous breakouts. So, avoid that shit for sure.
Hope this helps! Thanks for all you do, keep up the great work!
I put off taking accutane for so long because of all the scary things I read online & I tried EVERYTHING else. I mean everything, I sat in front of blue lights, I used every cream on the market, I took birth control, etc etc and nothing worked. I finally gave up and decided I was willing to risk all the horrible accutane effects because having acne made me feel horrible about myself & I was just willing to risk it. OMG, I wish I just saved myself years of suffering and went on it right away. I wish I could tell everyone suffering with ance to just go on accutane. Did it suck having DRY DRY DRY skin & bruising like an over ripe tomato? Yes it did. The initial breakout also sucked, but you have no idea how freeing it is to look in the mirror and not hate your face. I don’t care if it sounds vain, I want to feel good about myself and not feel like a teenager when I’m an adult woman. You have to remember that people who take accutane & have annoying dry skin for a few months & then clear skin after don’t get on the internet and write reviews. People with bad experiences write reviews, so the internet makes everything look scary. My kind old man dermatologist who finally convinced me told me, “I’ve been prescribing accutane for 30 years and I put my daughter on accutane.” You will do it, it will moderately suck for 6 months and then you will thank God that you did it every morning for the rest of your life when you have flawless skin.
I was single until I was 23 and I was positive it was because of my awful, red, inflamed acne. It sucks. It sucks a LOT. I have faith that there is a guy out there who will believe you are beautiful even on a bad face day, because one of those guys found me and if it happened to me it can happen to you.
I am 22 and have sufferedf from acne for the past 10 years of my life so I feel your frustration. I am on month 5 of accutane and I have never been happier with my skin. Really! Everyone tells me it glows. I was so nervous b/c I have a history of anxiety and depression and I have experience NO false side effects other than some dry lips. However, I just constantly have chapstick on me soooo problem solved. I HIGHLY recommend accutane and I wish I had done it MUCH earlier in my life!
Get a full hormone profile done, ideally do a salivary profile vs. a blood hormone panel. You likely have an eleveated testosterone level with probably a lower than normal progesterone level. Check your cortisol too. Find a GOOD naturopath and stick with him or her – they are a god send. MD’s tend to be flaky with hormone profiling…maybe a good idea to checked out for PCOS too…I was told a million times i didn’t have it, but hormone panelling doesn’t lie and it was real! Women with PCOS are ofthen naturally stonger, fitter and athletic. They often have milk-mod acne and report that they put on muscle easy while having a slightly harder time shedding fat. Worth a shot!
Since you asked I am just going to throw this advice out there…
1. Read “Excuse me Your Life is Waiting” by Lynn Grabhorn becasue how you think about your face is just as important as what you do to it.
2. Find a great Doctor that practices naturopathic medicine and get some testing done for food allergies and hormones. My sister-in-law is having the same struggle with acne and she just found out that she has PCOS and she is waiting on the other tests so that she can get her mind and body in harmony. She also had the same limited results with diet change and new washes, etc. but her recent visit to her naturopathic MD has been more benefitial than all the previous 32 years of creams, potions, medicine and facial treatments combined.
Best of luck.