I’m mad. Like, really f*cking mad. Ok, that’s a lie, I don’t really get mad, I just get sad. So, I’m really f*cking sad. My face was finally getting better, finally looking like something was changing and my face was starting to play nice, but NO. No, no,no. It ain’t playin’ nice no mo’. My face has freaked out. Like OMG Ihateyousomuchjuli. Iwantyoutostaysingleforever. Andidefinitelydontwantanyonetofindyouattractive. Ever.
You, my face, are a straight up b*tch.
Ugh, I’m going to get so many emails about my dirty mouth now. I’ll save you the time…please don’t send them.
Anywho, I’m having one of those days of feeling absolutely hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I clean up my diet and it gets a little bit better, then it goes back to normal. I change up my face cleansing routine and it gets a little better, then goes back to normal. I get off birth control, I stay on birth control. I take fish oil, I don’t take fish oil. I eat more fat, I eat less fat. I don’t eat dark chocolate, I do eat dark chocolate. I get facials, I don’t get facials. You get what I’m throwin’ out? I try everything, but in the end my face has full control, and I am left staring in the mirror with tears in my eyes, choking back the egg of frustration that sits in my throat.
Just today, I started taking the probiotic saccharomyce boulardii which was recommended by Liz of Cave Girl Eats. I also am getting cod liver oil soon to start trying that as well. And making sure all sugar and nuts are cut from my diet. It’s just so annoying that my mind has to be filled with thoughts of how ugly I am or how I wish I could improve my skin. That’s dumb. It should be filled with cookbook thoughts, and Christmas gift thoughts, and food thoughts. But no, the face has won.
So here’s my question out of utter frustration and anguish…do I try acutane? Do I face the fact that I may be incredibly depressed, moody, and upset for months because of the drug? Do I face the fact that I may have to take the drug even though my face and other body parts will literally dry up and peel off? Do I face the fact that it may not even work? I don’t know what to do, but I’m obviously upset enough to blab all about it and want some of your advice. So, advise me.
On a more positive note, you NEED to try these muffins. They are DELICIOUS.
Morning Glory Muffins (nut free option)
- Yield: 9 1x
Ingredients
- 1 apple, peeled and cored, shredded
- 1 large carrot, peeled
- 1/2 cup sunflower seed butter
- 1 cup pepitas
- 3 eggs, whisked
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/4 cup raisins
- 1/4 cup pecans, roughly chopped (optional for nut free version)
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Now add your pepitas to a small saucepan over medium heat with a tablespoon of fat. I used coconut oil.
- Cook for 3-5 minutes, moving around lots so they don’t burn and so they cook on all sides.
- While your pepitas are roasting, add your apple and carrot to your food processor with the shredding attachment. If you don’t have a food processor, use a grater to shred your apple and carrot.
- Add your apple and carrot to a bowl along with your sunflower seed butter and rinse out your food processor bowl.
- Then add your roasted pepitas to the food processor and puree until you get a flour/meal.
- Then add your pepita flour, eggs, coconut oil, honey, raisins, pecans, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda. Mix well.
- Pour your batter into 9 FULL muffin liners in your muffin tin. I lined my muffins tin with silicone muffin liners but paper would do just fine.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes until cooked through.
- Let cool slightly, but eat warm, because they are the best that way.
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More Nut Free Muffins:
Apple Cinnamon Muffins (nut free)
Chocolate Chip Protein Muffins (nut free)
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Hey GIRL… I’m sure you don’t need any more advice and I haven’t read all the comments so I’m not sure if anyone has mentioned these things yet, but thought I would add in my two cents….
I have struggled with acne FOREVER, and called on Chris Kressor for some help because I was so frustrated with being a strick paleo girl for years with not a single bit of improvement.
On top of what your already doing, a couple things that have helped me significantly is Fermented Cod liver oil from green pastures and bone broth ( I also did the Gaps Introduction diet which got me headed on the path to clear skin).
The facewash I use now is ANDALOU naturals – Citrus Kombucha ( they carry it at Whole Foods).
Best of luck….I know its a long frustrating journey that really wears on a girls self esteem 🙁
PS. Love your blog and recipes!
Hey Juli, love your blog. Holy crap you’ve gotten a lot of comments/advice on the whole skin thing. I didn’t read through all them to see if anyone else has recommended FANIE products. My sis and I both were on Accutane in high school (twice) and it worked great while we were on it but the acne came back after we got off of it (not to mention some intense side effects). So we discovered FANIE about 7 years ago and its literally the only product that has cleared our skin up. Check out the website, its a shop in San Diego but she ships everywhere. I’d recommend calling and getting advice from her on your skin type and the products. Seriously amazing product. http://www.kariehayden.net/
Julie have you seen the face diagram. Meaning if you breakout on your jawline or chin its due to hormones and stress. If you breakout on you cheeks/forhead its due to dairy and so on (which I am pretty sure you don’t eat). Where do you get facials? I have a wonderful woman I go to in the Highlands.
Hey Juli! Your are awesome.
People love YOU not your pimples. You are no less beautiful with or without them.
If you are interested-I wrote this post on paleohacks out of complete and total frustration.
“What I’ve learned in a year of fighting and studying acne”
http://paleohacks.com/questions/159841/for-all-acne-sufferers-what-ive-learned-in-a-year-of-fighting-and-studying-acne#axzz2E1Hj9YKm
You really have to question EVERYTHING you eat, EVERYTHING you use on your body, and yes, even your water. Even stuff that you’re 100% you don’t react to, could have some chemicals or treatments that affect you after the chemicals build-up. Like nuts. or coconut. or dried fruit.
Like one of the commenters above mentioned, I am allergic to fluoride! Freaking toothpaste, as well as the sulfuryl fluoride that gets sprayed on EVERYTHING in the US – almonds, walnuts, pecans, lettuce, kale, other greens, also accumulates in fatty chicken parts and chicken bones, turkey, TAP WATER, etc. etc. etc.
Also sodium laureth sulfates (or other derivatives) make me break out!!! So when I used regular conditioner I would get pimples! What???
I am such a BIG PITA. (Pain – in -the – ass)
Almost everything I eat now has to be organic or grass fed. and I’m still learning about things that seem OK, but 1 week later crop out.
I buy nearly 100% of my groceries local. And you know what else? I stopped washing my face and my hair. I no longer spend money on cosmetics and I’m glad. I am FREE from that hole, as well as seeing dermatologists, who I’m sure would throw me out of their office.
I am crazy, though. I spent a ton of money for thanksgiving turkey to buy a bird that was raised on chloride free, fluoride free water so I wouldn’t break out. (Eberly turkey and chicken if you’re interested)
I also like this post about acne:
http://www.mommypotamus.com/the-real-cause-of-acne/
It spoke to me a lot about what I have found out, that acne reflects some issue with your liver, kidney, thyroid, hormonal, lymphatic, or gall bladder symptoms – one or all of the above- and though they sound crazy, I also think chinese acne face maps are helpful for deciphering what needs support.
Please email me if you want to talk, or if you would like to borrow my GAPS book. Until I understood WHY symptoms can get out of whack, I was like you – trying everything, it felt like every supplement under the sun!
(Before Chris Kresser wrote his series http://chriskresser.com/nutrition-for-healthy-skin-silica-niacin-vitamin-k2-and-probiotics)
I have tried: Cod Liver Oil from Green Pastures, NOW zinc, Vitacost Magnesium, Kroger Vitamin C, Biotin, Selenium, Silica, Niacin, Probiotics, Fish oil, Vitamin D)
The ones from his article I didn’t try:
Vitamin A
Sulfur
Vitamin E
Pantothenic Acid (vitamin B5)
But it’s much more basic than that – something in your body is out of balance. Something in my body was.
Here’s what worked for me:
1 week of intro gaps – Lots of bone broth (with Distilled water + salt!). Really well cooked vegetables. Digestion ok? Great. Added homemade yogurt, egg yolks.
better but not perfect. I figured if I couldn’t eliminate fluoride, my kidneys must be hurting, so I started taking the following herbs:
milk thistle
burdock root
dandelion root
turmeric (anti-inflammatory)
grapeseed extract (anti-oxidant)
NAC (N-Acetyl Cysteine)
Stinging Nettle
I still find out something new bathed in fluoride every other day – conventional meat (can have up to 40 ppm), conventional GINGER (sprayed with a ton of Sulfuryl Fluoride).
I would be happy to be your buddy if you want someone to support you as you go through any kind of elimination diet.
But the US food chain is so F*CKED from all the shit they add to our food to preserve it and grow it that organic is the way to go. Plus the antibiotics/birth control prescribed to ladies for “abnormal” periods or yeast infections or UTI’s, which seriously f*cked me up. And based on personal experience, the stupid f*cking fluoride pills prescribed to me as a kid and thinking I was healthy in drinking 3 L of tap water every day and using tons of toothpaste – the more th better right? It’s not you. It’s this f*cking country we live in. Sometimes I am so angry at the fact that I have to be so f*cking anal about my food. But Don’t take accutane. Please. Don’t let them get more of your money than they deserve, or f*ck you up more. Western medicine is great if you’re on death’s door, but not so great at quality of life issues.
It’s going to be a long hard road, but seriously please email you seem so awesome and I promise you I would like you the same acne or not. You will be stronger having conquered this. I PROMISE YOU THAT YOU CAN.
There’s so many damn comments on this I doubt you’ll see this one BUT I went on accutane, it worked, had no problems. My lips were a little dry but they make this stuff.. its called CHAPSTICK. Oh and lotion. I don’t know if you’ve heard of those? Try acctuane for a month or two, if you don’t like the results don’t stay on it. Simple as that. Or ya know.. you could try that crazy ass concotion above.. lol. Good luck. Oh and I can’t even tell you the CONFIDENCE I have now gained from having clear skin. I think if anything you should talk to a doctor about accutane. Any questions or concerns you have they can answer. I hate to see people unhappy about acne when there’s things that DO WORK!
I have struggled with acne ever since I was a teenager (I am not 30). It is especially bad when I am nursing or pregnant. The hormones rage war on my skin. Girl! I totally get the feeling of being ugly because your skin is so bad! With my current pregnancy I started taking turmeric and it has worked wonders! Finally after all these years something that works! I take 2 daily and when it is really bad I take 2 in the morning and 2 at night. My skin is pretty close to clear. Not perfect but infinitely better than what it was. You can also make a paste of turmeric and water to put on the trouble spots for a little bit or before you go to bed at night. This totally helps too. Just put a towel or something over your pillow case because it stains yellow. Here is a link to the stuff I get from vitacost that has worked wonders for me! http://www.vitacost.com/vitacost-turmeric-extract-800-mg-per-serving-200-capsules Good luck girl! Hope that helps!!
Juli, I know this is like…. a week late…but whatev, I was grabbing the recipe and read your post. I just wanted to tell you that at age 29, my face went from flawless to pimply, zitty & major cysts within about 3 months. And I’m not joking in the slightest. It was ALL over my face, and the most depressing thing I have ever experienced…I know I know…everyone says it’s what’s inside that counts… but even when you are putting the right things inside and you ‘feel’ fine on the inside… the outside stuff is just as important to me too! I mean, if I’m working my body to look great, I want my face to look great too! WITHOUT concealer!! Rabbit trail. So, the sheit stayed around on my face and multiplied like ugly little bunny rabbits for 2 years. I started using a certain product line and while it cleared MY skin up in about 2 weeks, I will say I don’t attribute it TO the specific product alone, it certainly did help to be using quality products that aren’t harmful to your skin and it’s natural growth & regeneration, I largely attribute it to how the routine of using it changed my skin’s habits (very much like how our bodies can reprogram themselves to choose fat as the primary fuel first…right?) So… my new routine become: gentle cleanser, NON oxidizing toner (ie… antibacterial toner, not the kind that tingles/burns your skin when you use it), and simple hydration, both day and night. Once in the morning, once before bed. I learned that all the super scrubbing I was doing (with or without harsh acne chemicals) was actually stripping my skin of its oil, and NOT using a moisturizer (thinking that I didn’t want more stuff on my face) was causing my oil glands to produce SO much sebum that it was just clogging everything up. Now add that onto the fact that I worked out a LOT (gym rat & 10km racer) I was taking a lot of showers, again rinsing away my natural oils, and my skin’s natural acid mantle and pH. Add to that the stress of a divorce…BUT any stress just contributes (including healthy physical stress…hormones are powerful little buggers) SO…verbal diarrhea here, but all of that to say, what worked for me doesn’t always work for everyone, but the solution might be as simple as picking gentle products to clean your skin, a VERY gentle toner that doesn’t use strong alcohols as an astringent, and a nice light daily moisturizer and a night cream to make sure your skin is getting what it needs. I also use a serum with my combination because I’m focusing on making sure my skin has the vitamins it needs as it ages (I’m 34 now). But the whole key is remembering that drying out your skin with products will just cause it to make more oil. NOW, all of THAT to say, you may have already tried this and reading this was a colossal waste of your time. If so, I recommend having a glass of wine. 🙂 (but the fact remains, you’re good peeps)
I seem to be one of the lucky ones who took accutane with negligible (I think?…remains to be determined) negative results. I did need to have to have my blood drawn every month, which I didn’t think much of at the time (because all teens are invincible!…or feel that way, anyway) – but it did clear up my acne. Full disclosure, I’m a guy and I’m not sure how it might differently effect the female body (not sure about a lot of things, really…like I said, I’m a guy).
Looking back, I’m not sure if I would do it again, understanding the consequences more fully. I’ve also found that cleaning up my diet (re: going Paleo) has cleaned up my skin/complexion better than any skin care regimen. I used to have especially dry skin around my nose, but that sh*t has become as smooth as a baby’s backside.
That being said, I highly recommend Dr. Bronner’s Bar Soap as an excellent facial cleanser:
http://www.drbronner.com/DBMS/BAR.htm
Also, this clip from Alan Watts explains who you really “are” when you look in that mirror:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwDNXgrNECw
Someone else mentioned meditation, and here’s a great lecture from Watts on that:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHCJoWikp5E
And, besides that, you’re gorgeous. Not only how you look, but your personality and sense of humor. Might not mean much coming from this anonymous schmuck on the internet (who also already swam in accutane like Scrooge McDuck in gold coins…this freakin’ hypocrite!), but it’s what I think.
Hi! Just came across your site & love your recipes… Your personality is hysterical too!! Have you ever had an allergy test to see your IgG reactions to foods…. Or are you eating flax at all?? It doesn’t appear that you hve flax but it brutally breaks me out horribly & several of my friends.
Another note is I work fora company that makes a high strength probiotic used by many physicians around the country for issues like this. What’s going on in the gut, definitely comes out in the skin… Those toxins must go omewhere. You may benefit from a strong probiotic like Theralac& rotate with TruFlorato combat yeast & other intestinal problems. Let me know if you’d like to try a sample & we can send you one. I’d love to help !! Good luck & thank you for the good ideas & many laughs!!
What if I told you that I had an approach you had not tried yet? It seems to me that you have excess yang qi. I have successfully improved my face through diet and if you’re curious as to how please reach out to me. joannastanielun@yahoo.com
If you don’t reach out I highly recommend implementing a “yin diet”. I have been on accutane 7 times in my life since I’ve been 16 and I am now 24. It would always work but within time my face always reverted to what it was before. The process is also a bitch. I hope you contact me!