I’m mad. Like, really f*cking mad. Ok, that’s a lie, I don’t really get mad, I just get sad. So, I’m really f*cking sad. My face was finally getting better, finally looking like something was changing and my face was starting to play nice, but NO. No, no,no. It ain’t playin’ nice no mo’. My face has freaked out. Like OMG Ihateyousomuchjuli. Iwantyoutostaysingleforever. Andidefinitelydontwantanyonetofindyouattractive. Ever.
You, my face, are a straight up b*tch.
Ugh, I’m going to get so many emails about my dirty mouth now. I’ll save you the time…please don’t send them.
Anywho, I’m having one of those days of feeling absolutely hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I clean up my diet and it gets a little bit better, then it goes back to normal. I change up my face cleansing routine and it gets a little better, then goes back to normal. I get off birth control, I stay on birth control. I take fish oil, I don’t take fish oil. I eat more fat, I eat less fat. I don’t eat dark chocolate, I do eat dark chocolate. I get facials, I don’t get facials. You get what I’m throwin’ out? I try everything, but in the end my face has full control, and I am left staring in the mirror with tears in my eyes, choking back the egg of frustration that sits in my throat.
Just today, I started taking the probiotic saccharomyce boulardii which was recommended by Liz of Cave Girl Eats. I also am getting cod liver oil soon to start trying that as well. And making sure all sugar and nuts are cut from my diet. It’s just so annoying that my mind has to be filled with thoughts of how ugly I am or how I wish I could improve my skin. That’s dumb. It should be filled with cookbook thoughts, and Christmas gift thoughts, and food thoughts. But no, the face has won.
So here’s my question out of utter frustration and anguish…do I try acutane? Do I face the fact that I may be incredibly depressed, moody, and upset for months because of the drug? Do I face the fact that I may have to take the drug even though my face and other body parts will literally dry up and peel off? Do I face the fact that it may not even work? I don’t know what to do, but I’m obviously upset enough to blab all about it and want some of your advice. So, advise me.
On a more positive note, you NEED to try these muffins. They are DELICIOUS.
Morning Glory Muffins (nut free option)
- Yield: 9 1x
Ingredients
- 1 apple, peeled and cored, shredded
- 1 large carrot, peeled
- 1/2 cup sunflower seed butter
- 1 cup pepitas
- 3 eggs, whisked
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/4 cup raisins
- 1/4 cup pecans, roughly chopped (optional for nut free version)
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Now add your pepitas to a small saucepan over medium heat with a tablespoon of fat. I used coconut oil.
- Cook for 3-5 minutes, moving around lots so they don’t burn and so they cook on all sides.
- While your pepitas are roasting, add your apple and carrot to your food processor with the shredding attachment. If you don’t have a food processor, use a grater to shred your apple and carrot.
- Add your apple and carrot to a bowl along with your sunflower seed butter and rinse out your food processor bowl.
- Then add your roasted pepitas to the food processor and puree until you get a flour/meal.
- Then add your pepita flour, eggs, coconut oil, honey, raisins, pecans, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda. Mix well.
- Pour your batter into 9 FULL muffin liners in your muffin tin. I lined my muffins tin with silicone muffin liners but paper would do just fine.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes until cooked through.
- Let cool slightly, but eat warm, because they are the best that way.
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More Nut Free Muffins:
Apple Cinnamon Muffins (nut free)
Chocolate Chip Protein Muffins (nut free)
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Everything I have EVER put on my face makes me break out…except shea butter. I use a natural shea butter soap. If I get a breakout I’ll use peroxide on a cotton ball. When I was younger I suddenly started breaking out badly. The only thing that worked for me was taking Zinc and vitamin C. They’re mad frikkin cheap and good for you and make your skin wicked frikkin awesome!
Juli, I have been having very similar acne problems for the past several years. I am making great progress so I wanted to share with you. Same as you, I would switch washes and it would be great for a week and then go back to how it was. Played with my diet and it would be great but then go back to how it was. 2 months ago I started using Glytone step-up. They have several different lines so look at the Step-Up. It’s a wash and then a lotion for morning and one for night. You use it for 3 months and then buy the lotions in step 2, use that for 3 months and then buy the lotions in step 3. At first I didn’t think it was working but give it a month. I am beyond thrilled with my skin now. Another thing I realized is that I can’t wear foundation. I had been using mineral foundation for years and since discovering that it was adding to my breakouts I’ve tried about 6 others but they all make me breakout. For now, the face wash has made my skin so pretty I’m ok with not wearing foundation. Someone suggested I try the new BB creams but I’m nervous. I’m just not ready to chance it. Best of luck. I know how painful it is.
Forgot to mention Bentonite clay. Don’t have to get the expensive stuff. I buy one called..i think it’s aztec secret..something like that..like 8 bucks at whole foods. Mix it with either purified water or with aloe juice and make a paste. That stuff clears up a zit in a day!!
I hate using chemical stuff…they’re always a vicious cycle.
Anyways…if you have a zit after using this clay stuff once or twice, i’d be highly surprised. It will even draw lead poisoning out of your system.
I know exactly what you have been dealing with, try reading this article. It may be a lot cheaper way to get the results that you would get from accutane. Do some research on zinc and acne, I had been searching for years and finally read about how so many people with acne are actually deficient in zinc because their body doesn’t absorb it right. I am paleo and eat completely clean, I even have to stay away from coconut and nuts. Healing your gut is key but its not the only link: http://dremilykane.com/2004/08/31/treatments-for-adult-acne/
P.S When you buy zinc, try the chelated kind from blue bonnet instead
Here is the deal: sometimes people are sensitive to all the “stuff” that should clear up acne. I’m allergic to salycilic acid (which is in everything for your face and more) …makes me break out hard core…all over. Not pretty. I switched to a product that I buy on Amazon called, Free and Clear…it’s shampoo…and my skin is amazing! I get compliments ALL the time. I also just use plain old eucerin lotion. Nothing fancy but it has very few ingredients…which is the key. Also, organic cleansers can still have irritants in them bc many herbal or natural or organic products, like witch hazel, are very much like the synthetic products so your skin can react to them the same way. Less is more. For a $10 bottle of shampoo and a $12 bottle of lotion, it’s worth a shot. Incidentally, I also used to be an esthetician. I wouldn’t touch accutane with a ten foot pole.
Hi Juli! I can see how many comments you have on this acne issue and how many suggestions you have to sift through. However, I would like to add my two cents 🙂 You are beautiful, but I completely understand what it looks like to see someone you don’t like in the mirror. I have been chubby my WHOLE life. I’m doing really well right now and I’m happy, but for a long time I would be sad when I saw how big my belly was, etc. in the mirror. Anyways, you seem to eat a really healthy diet with lots of good fats. The only thing I would recommend food-wise is to load up on the greens. Greens are calming and balancing, which if anything, will help with the mental stress this acne gives you. Also, I would throw out any beauty products that you can’t eat. It just doesn’t make sense to me to put chemicals on the skin when the skin soaks up everything directly into the bloodstream. I love Living Libations products and it may seem weird, but cleaning your face with oil really does work. And her oil cleansers smell sooooo good and are amazing! If you are really interested in natural beauty routines, I would recommend the BE Beauty program by Tera Warner. They have a free 10 day program if you don’t want to pay for the 30 day and the lady who runs it, Paula, struggled with severe (and I mean SEVERE) acne her whole life until just last year when she committed herself to this BE Beauty program. I don’t work for this program, but I have gone through it and I believe in it and I have seen its effects. Let me know if you try it and like I said, if you want something quick and cheap – do their free 10 day program. You won’t regret it!
Hey Juli,
I’m wicked late on this one, but I figured I’d throw in my two cents. It’s the least I can do since your website has given me so much since I became a follower in July. Seriously, you are awesome and your food is awesome, and without you and George of Civilized Caveman, I don’t think I’d still be following Paleo (and I’d be chunky, depressed, and lethargic again).
Anywho, I had a derm who wanted to put me on accutane despite the fact that I never really had skin THAT bad. I refused and continued dealing with my skin issues, which had gotten worse again in my late 20s. I visited another dermatologist who put me on a brief round of antibiotics, made me stop using any drugstore product aimed at getting rid of acne, and gave me a prescription lotion to keep my skin hydrated and a gel for any brief flare ups. I used that for a short period of time (as it was intended by my dermatologist), in conjunction with Aveeno fragrance-free, dye-free face wash. Gorgeous skin! Skin I had always dreamed of! As I said, that was a short lived regimen (with the scripts), and now I just eat well (indulging in sugar from time to time) and use Josie Maran’s Argan Oil Cleanser and the occasional moisturizer. That’s IT. I wasn’t keen on being on antibiotics, but it was so short-lived that it was ok. I’m going on 6 years with clear skin now. Whatever you try, give it some time to work and don’t scrub the hell out of your lovely face! Give it some time to heal.
I got some relief from retin-a, but when it was combined with benzoyl peroxide cream and a benzoyl peroxide soap, I really started getting traction against my acne. I had a mid-twenties explosion in which my acne suddenly flared again, and my dermatologist switched me from retin-a to tazorac. It’s crazy strong, but worked like magic. I only had to use it a couple of nights a week — any more than that, and my skin dried up too much. I’m 38 and don’t have too much trouble any more (light at the end of the tunnel, Juli). I use Clinique acne-clearing lotion every morning under my foundation (neutrogena acne-clearing foundation) and I’m generally clear. And keep that headband off your forehead. Bacteria is just stewing under there.
Hi Sweet Juli,
I’m chiming in late here. I have been on ProActiv many times, Derm perscribed antibiotics and Accutane TWICE. I had cystic acne so bad. Knots all over my face that would spew blood and puss. I would cry and call in to work sick. I had to wear makeup so thick. The kind that post-op folks had to wear after plastic surgery was healing. I feel your pain.
Three things that worked for me.
Rena Levi amazing scrub and soap. Her before and after pictures are incredible.
Pure Skin Junkie: ALL acne products. They let the good bacteria on your skin live (as opposed to drug store and ProActiv jumk) while your skin heals.
And Dr. Hauschka normalizing oil. I would put it all over my face and sleep in it. My face would calm down and sigh Ahhh.
Lastly, even above diet (which is HUGE) is the connection between our skin (including acne, hives etc) and Fear, Anxiety and Stress that we harbor and nurture internally. It throws off the entire system and your skin is actually trying to tell you something about what is happening inside. High levels of fear (even if it happened twenty years ago) etc. triggers increased histamine secretion behind the skin and also increases the secretion of oil in the epidermis causing acne.
Accutane hurt me in so many ways. I’m 15 years out from my last round and I am still not the same. I’ll tell you after everything I’ve been through, if I had it to do all over again, I would be kind to my skin with basic coconut oil and a gentle cleanser and find out why and how I am blocking love from reigning supreme in my life and heart. It sounds silly and way too simple. But when I let love cast out fear from the very fiber of my being, many many many things balanced themselves out. My body is at rest and the crappy cortisol drip shut off and my nervous system is at peace to do what it was designed to do instead of balance the fight/flight/freeze dance.
I think you are amazing and are so dear. A book that helped me understand this in depth was “A More Excellent Way to Be in Health” by Henry W. Wright.
http://www.amazon.com/More-Excellent-Way-Be-Health/dp/1603741011/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
I wish you all the best.
K
So many great comments! I have had both acne and skin sensitivity to everything, there are a few things I have done that has changed everything. I have used Murad products and gotten facials using Murad. Check out Massage Envy Spa in your area for great facials at a great price.
Next look into oil pulling, at least in the morning before eating, drinking or brushing your teeth. Amazing what has happened to my face since I started.
Lastly, Use coconut oil as your base even to wash and under moisturizer.
Good luck. You are beautiful. Also, when your partner comes, none of this will matter to him. Keep doing what you do so well and know you will will be healed.