I’m mad. Like, really f*cking mad. Ok, that’s a lie, I don’t really get mad, I just get sad. So, I’m really f*cking sad. My face was finally getting better, finally looking like something was changing and my face was starting to play nice, but NO. No, no,no. It ain’t playin’ nice no mo’. My face has freaked out. Like OMG Ihateyousomuchjuli. Iwantyoutostaysingleforever. Andidefinitelydontwantanyonetofindyouattractive. Ever.
You, my face, are a straight up b*tch.
Ugh, I’m going to get so many emails about my dirty mouth now. I’ll save you the time…please don’t send them.
Anywho, I’m having one of those days of feeling absolutely hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I clean up my diet and it gets a little bit better, then it goes back to normal. I change up my face cleansing routine and it gets a little better, then goes back to normal. I get off birth control, I stay on birth control. I take fish oil, I don’t take fish oil. I eat more fat, I eat less fat. I don’t eat dark chocolate, I do eat dark chocolate. I get facials, I don’t get facials. You get what I’m throwin’ out? I try everything, but in the end my face has full control, and I am left staring in the mirror with tears in my eyes, choking back the egg of frustration that sits in my throat.
Just today, I started taking the probiotic saccharomyce boulardii which was recommended by Liz of Cave Girl Eats. I also am getting cod liver oil soon to start trying that as well. And making sure all sugar and nuts are cut from my diet. It’s just so annoying that my mind has to be filled with thoughts of how ugly I am or how I wish I could improve my skin. That’s dumb. It should be filled with cookbook thoughts, and Christmas gift thoughts, and food thoughts. But no, the face has won.
So here’s my question out of utter frustration and anguish…do I try acutane? Do I face the fact that I may be incredibly depressed, moody, and upset for months because of the drug? Do I face the fact that I may have to take the drug even though my face and other body parts will literally dry up and peel off? Do I face the fact that it may not even work? I don’t know what to do, but I’m obviously upset enough to blab all about it and want some of your advice. So, advise me.
On a more positive note, you NEED to try these muffins. They are DELICIOUS.
Morning Glory Muffins (nut free option)
- Yield: 9 1x
Ingredients
- 1 apple, peeled and cored, shredded
- 1 large carrot, peeled
- 1/2 cup sunflower seed butter
- 1 cup pepitas
- 3 eggs, whisked
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/4 cup raisins
- 1/4 cup pecans, roughly chopped (optional for nut free version)
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Now add your pepitas to a small saucepan over medium heat with a tablespoon of fat. I used coconut oil.
- Cook for 3-5 minutes, moving around lots so they don’t burn and so they cook on all sides.
- While your pepitas are roasting, add your apple and carrot to your food processor with the shredding attachment. If you don’t have a food processor, use a grater to shred your apple and carrot.
- Add your apple and carrot to a bowl along with your sunflower seed butter and rinse out your food processor bowl.
- Then add your roasted pepitas to the food processor and puree until you get a flour/meal.
- Then add your pepita flour, eggs, coconut oil, honey, raisins, pecans, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda. Mix well.
- Pour your batter into 9 FULL muffin liners in your muffin tin. I lined my muffins tin with silicone muffin liners but paper would do just fine.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes until cooked through.
- Let cool slightly, but eat warm, because they are the best that way.
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More Nut Free Muffins:
Apple Cinnamon Muffins (nut free)
Chocolate Chip Protein Muffins (nut free)
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A good friend of mine took Acutane and didn’t experience any negative side effects, aside from laying down immediately after taking it and getting heart burn (it says on the bottle not to do this). It worked really well for her and she goes back on it from time to time. Everyone is different. You might as well try it. If it’s terrible, stop. But who knows? Maybe your skin will be beautiful and you’ll get your confidence back without any problems. There are side effects to drugs, but clearly this is really taking a toll on you. You don’t have to be Perfect Paleo Natural Girl … sometimes we have to compromise on our ideals when they don’t fit into our current reality. Do what you need to do!
Hi Juli,
It seems like you’ve been trying a lot of things that could really have potential to help you, but maybe you aren’t *patiently* sticking with one regimen long enough to actually receive its benefits. I have always had bad acne. Always. I have been on a prescription of three things that has worked very well for me that a dermatologist put me on back in college. Clindamycin phosphate, trentinoin cream and spironolactone pills. It does not do anything harmful in terms of depression, believe me, I’d know. It takes about a month to start working as long as you don’t touch or pick at anything on your face. The best thing you must do is to stop picking at it because that makes it so much worse and causes scarring, though I’m sure you know this. I have a policy with myself that I can not touch my face. Even sometimes when studying I end up with my hand on my chin and a pimple will pop up there. But lately, I tried the oil cleanse method you talked about maybe a month ago, and I’ve been only doing that. I have not washed my face with any soap since I started and I went off of that meds trio i mentioned. For the most part, my skin does seem to like it. I still get a pimple here or there, but I don’t touch them, they go away much faster than they used to when I was over-drying my skin with all of that crap. It does take time for skin to detox- and acne is a result of detox. Switching so frequently makes sure your skin never fully detoxes, and then we’re back to square one. I think a little sugar or chocolate *in moderation* here or there is not the issue. I think it’s too much dryness, changing of regimen, and touching the skin. SLEEP is a huge one for me. One night of five/six hour sleep in a sea of eight hour nights will be enough to upset my skin. Hope this helps. Hope I can listen to my own advice too 🙂
I also used to take Spironolactone (diuretic) and it worked (I think b/c it was blocking the testosterone). I did it for 10 years, prior to that just had to suffer with lots of pussy awful pimples. Have had acne since junior high and I’m 34 now. I wanted to be drug free so I got of birth control and Spironolactone and so far so good. I have a dairy and a soy intolerance so I have to believe that omitting one of those two things (or both) has led to my being able to stay off the drugs. But, if I were to start breaking out again, I’d get back on it in a heartbeat b/c it worked with no noticeable side effects! Acne so big sucks!
Also, my naturopathic physician as well as the woman who does my facials both recommend Witch Hazel. ND had me add some concoction to it but I don’t recall what it was – will try to find out.
Proactiv bleached my brand new, monogrammed, West Elm sheets and some bath towels – if it’s doing that to fabric, what’s it doing to your face?
Can’t speak to acutane but I think you’ve already answered that on your own plus an overwhelming majority saying no with only a few saying yes and maybe there are side effects that are unknown to accommodate the known ones. Sounds like a gamble. I’m not a gambler.
Tho I have cleared my acne problem (I think, it’s only been a few months and I do have some backne), I have another skin problem that seems to be impossible to fix! I have itchy skin 24/7/365 – no rash, no dryness, just ichy as hell. It’s brutal. I’ve tried so many things including the food intolerance, water softener, etc. Why oh why must we have so many ailments?! Hope ya get it figured out beautiful lady!
Thanks for all you say/do/post…looking forward to this cookbook!
I’d like to add that I also tried spironalactone as well, and while it worked for acne, it also made me gain weight and cellulite. There are a few huge threads on the internet of a bunch of people saying it had this side affect. So you never know… I’m upset that I ever took that.
1st, love your blog! You have been a big help in finding great things to eat that are healthy for me. Thank you!
2nd. Have you heard of Nerium AD? It’s originally marketed for reducing wrinkles and skin texture. I’ve only been using it for 3 weeks and have noticed a difference in my skin texture.The thing is, people that are using it are also finding their acne and scarring improving! This isn’t what it is marketed for but it is making a difference. It’s all natural the main ingredient is from a magnolia, if I remember correctly. I just bought it for my son who has a terrible time with acne. It may be worth looking into.
I had accutane when I was in my twenties and it did get rid of my acne but only for about 5 years and then it came back. I am now in my 40’s and reckon I have arthritis in my knees as a side effect of taking accutane! 🙁
The cure for me for my acne has been :
1. Take Vitamin D supplements (10,000 IU a day at the moment till my levels are up to at least 50 ng/ml or 125 nmol/l.) Vitamin D is much, much safer than accutane – I definitely recommend you get your blood serum levels tested. Here is a book from Amazon on Vitamin D: http://www.amazon.com/The-Vitamin-Revolution-Amazing-Change/dp/1401924700/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353951202&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Vitamin+D+Revolution
2. Go low carb and especially cut out all sugar, and keep the amount of natural sugars such as honey and fruit very low. (my carb intake is around 20-30g net carbs a day)
3. Avoid all wheat and dairy.
My skin is now about 99% acne free but if I have a slip up and eat anything with sugar in it, I’ll get great big, deep cysts on my face straight away – not worth it! Sugar is definitely the main culprit for me when it comes to acne.
I always follow your recipes and they all look great but many of them have too much sugar for me, Perhaps cutting back on sugar could work for you too?
Good luck whatever you decide to do.
Di 🙂
Totally agree. Especially about 2 & 3.
Cutting out sugar made a huge impact on my acne and going low-carb aided in preventing break outs from when I would go off my diet with other foods (including sugary to fried ones). Crazy… Carbs & sugar go hand in hand.
Juli,
I did accutane when I was in my teens. I won’t lie, it did an amazing job on my skin. But I also now have terrible digestion issues. And my skin now breaks out as an adult. It’s not worth it. Accutane is TERRIBLE for your body and the side effects during the treatment can be pretty brutal. From someone who did it (2 HEAVY rounds), the price you pay with your body for clear skin (that may not stay clear) is not worth it. You are beautiful just as you are. Don’t sacrifice your body.
If you would like to ask questions about the side effects and how my treatment went, feel free to reach out to me. I am happy to help in anyway that I can.
I know how you feel Juli I have acne too and it’s only on my chin and I try everything no sugar no nuts nothin processed. I eat so healhty and exercise and I’m not stressed out I love my life right now and it’s still there and won’t go away. I pretty much have given up. I’ve cried so much over it thats it’s just not worth it anymore. So yea i look like shit when i’m working out because I have no makeup on to cover it up. Hopefully one day we will find someone who likes us for our personality and they won’t care about the acne. Stay strong girl you have an awesome sense of humor and a wonderful personality
Hi Juli,
I noticed that most of the people who commented here were women. That in and of it’s self is not surprising but I felt that I should comment on two things (as a token guy).
One, I was just turned onto you site by a friend and I just happened to see a picture of you with your bright smile and beautiful hair and I think you are, well…stunning! And I like your potty mouth. 🙂
Two, I was on acutane for a year as a teen and it messed me up for a while. I was told by a doctor that I respect that it is, at best, a temporary bandage for a deeper issue.
It is frustrating, as you know to try and get to the source of the real problem. I still suffer from acne, although not as bad as when I was younger. I wish there was an easy button for this one. Dammit!
Please remember what you already know…. all things are temporary and you are not your moods which are fickle and mostly lies. 🙂
P.S – thank you for sharing your beautiful recipes and and your beautiful self.
Morgan
As someone who has had terrible acne since she was 9, I can totally understand where you are coming from. I had tried everything. Every medication, every topical, every commerical treatment, diet changes, vitamins, facials, oil cleanses. You name it, I did it. I even totally overhauled my diet for several months to try to fix the ‘gut problem’s that supposedly cause acne. Did that more than once. No success. Not even a small change.
I really didn’t want to do anything extreme or hormonal, but I eventually tried birth control to help regulate it. No success. After fighting with my doctor, I finally gave Accutane a try. Sorry to the haters, I’m generally as holistic as it comes but you try living with terrible, painful acne for upwards of 15 years.
Accutane has done wonders. My skin definitely dried out a ton but my breakouts were better within a month (def still there, but better). My skin is less oily and more smooth. I’ve had zero side effects other than the dryness and my performance has not suffered. My sports med actually helped to convince me to go on it, and she had been on it when she was a competitive rower with no side effects.
Its not for everyone, and it is a long process, but I honestly believe that the meds are a little less extreme than people make them out to be. TRY IT. if you hate it a month in, go off it. Maybe its not the best thing for you, but neither are the constantly elevated cortisol levels from being stressed about your current acne. I know thats not the fairest comparison, but as someone that really was worried and resisted Accutane for a long time, I really believe its worth a shot.
Sorry thats long winded. I hope it helps.
Hi there,
I love this blog. I have never commented on a blog before, but some of the comments above prompted me to respond.
I have suffered from sever cystic acne for 30 years. 30 years. I am 41 years old. That is a long time to suffer with something that sucks really bad. I have tried every single suggestion that has been given to you above. Every. Single. One. Every antibiotic, topical prescription, dietary change, supplement, gut-fixer, Proactiv, Unblemish, every natural skin care line, every organic skin care line, all of it, everything. And no change. No change at all.
I have been on Accutane five times – five times – over the last 30 years. It will work. It will be painful. Joints will ache. Back will ache. Lips and eyes will dry out. Eye drops, Eucerin and Aquaphor will be your friends. It is labor intensive, as it will require birth control management, monthly blood work to monitor various things, and monthly doctor appointments. You might possibly require a low dose, which would mitigate the side effects.
Those who say that most acne is a “simple fix” have likely not experienced what I have. Chronic, sever cystic acne. Those who say you should never take Accutane have possibly never been on it.
Accutane was rough, but worked miracles for me. For some of us, there is no dietary or topical cure that will make acne improve.
Don’t believe everything you hear or see on TV. Do your own research and make the best decision for you.
Feel free to email me directly if you want to chat about my experience. There are few things I love to talk about more than acne and skin care.
P.S. I have swear like a sailor as well….;-)
What oil combinations were you using? I am using 1 part Castor oil (cold pressed) and 3 parts Grapeseed oil on the days that I wear makeup or feel I am getting blemishes coming on. The other days I use just the grapeseed oil (bought at Sprouts in the facial products section). I tend to get way too dry and have noticed when my skin is dry my acne is horribly active. I think I do the castor oil combo 1 to 2 times a week and only water wash in the a.m. unless I forgot to wash my face the night before. Perhaps you were overdoing something or needed more of something else. Hope you figure it out, acne can get the best of you.
oh and I use coconut oil sometimes too, instead of the straight grapeseed oil.
I exhausted every effort to clear up my acne but it started developing really badly on my chest and back as well as my face. I did five months of Accutane, and yes, my skin and nose did get very dry, but that was almost four years ago and my skin has never been better. I pretty much had perfect skin for several months after, and now I get maybe one or two pimples before my period (pretty normal). Also, my skin used to be VERY oily, now it’s not at all.
Talk to your Dr about it, but I would recommend it. It is serious stuff, but it also works for a lot of people.