Have you ever had a muscle cramp hurt so bad that you almost threw up? I have. In my inner thigh. Inner thigh cramps are by far the worst thing because the cramp creeps up to your crotch. And nobody wants a crotch cramp. Nobody.
Enough about crotch cramps, you perve. Onto serious matters. My credit card hates Pittsburgh. Seriously. Every time I come here, every store denies it. Even when I call the bank to say “Hey, stop freaking out and thinking I’m a thief who loves Pittsburgh”, it still doesn’t work. What’s up with that? Where my bank people at? Riddle me that, bank people.
Based on my statement above, I’m guessing you understand that I’m in Pittsburgh. If not, get with it bro! I’m working on a project out here! This is my second trip for this project and so far, it’s going awesome! This is by far the most exciting project I’ve ever worked on and I’m seriously giddy with happiness. Like, weirdly happy. I still can’t officially talk about the project, but believe me, you probably won’t be nearly as excited as I am. Or maybe you will! If that’s so, then I really like you. Anywho, yesterday was my first day of working on the project and the day went perfectly. I made pretty much the most adorbs street tacos of all time.
You guys, guess what? My little Jackson dog is kind of sick. Now don’t you freak out, he’s ok, but the poor guy has an upset stomach. So get this: the morning of my flight to Pittsburgh, I was awaken by Jackson vomitting. Not the greatest thing to wake up to, but things happen, vomit happens. So I didn’t think much of it, cleaned it up then curled up with him on the couch. Soon after, he started barking to go outside. His dad took him out and Jackson ran outside in a panic. Nobody wants to crap their pants inside in front of their humans. No one. This poor kid was in so much pain, I actually heard him scream from inside my apartment. Bloody murder scream. I will never get that sound out of my head, it was the most heartbreaking sound ever. So I headed off to Pittsburgh like a terrible dog mother while my boyfriend took him to the vet to get some x-rays. Turns out nothing was wrong with him. He just has a “sensitive butt”. I don’t know what that means, but I’m guessing he can’t eat apple since that was the only different thing he ate the day before. Poor guy. Look at him all curled up with his dad.
OMG dead from cuteness.
Are you upset that I talked about dog butts? Whatever. I saw way worse things talked about on instagram yesterday about human butts. Gross. Human butts are gross and should never be mentioned via instagram. Ever.
Yesterday I had a guy comment about how annoying I am. And white trash. I think he may be right. But he also did use the word “what’re” which isn’t actually a proper contraction. Shame. He could have really proved his manhood with such a rude comment if he had used proper grammar. The poor, dumb bastard.
Ooey Gooey Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bars
- Yield: 16 1x
Ingredients
- 3/4 cup pumpkin puree
- 1/2 cup butter or ghee or coconut oil, melted + extra for greasing dish
- 1 egg, whisked
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup almond flour
- 1/4 cup tapioca flour
- 1 cup coconut sugar
- 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
- 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
- Grease an 8×8 glass baking dish with ghee, coconut oil or butter.
- Mix all ingredient together in a large bowl until well combined.
- Pour mixture into baking dish.
- Bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
- Let cool for 10 minutes before cutting and serving.
Notes
Makes 16 squares
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You May Also Like:
Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cups
Pumpkin Spice Chocolate Chip Energy Balls
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These look amazing! I need to make these asap!
God, I love your posts. Hope Jackson feels better soon – maybe he needs some special doggie food?
Yum! Tried these tonight and they are yummy! Thanks!
At the risk of sounding like a complete bizzo, I’m going to go ahead and say what I’m sure quite a few other people think…For the love of god people if you want to know about substitutions and modifications to this recipe (or any for that matter) do some research. I’m almost positive Juli didn’t wake up one morning and think hmmm, I’m going to mix 3/4 C of this, 1 C of this flour, 1/2 C of this flour etc., etc., and BAM instantly have a recipe that was fanfreakingtabulous! (ok maybe she has but I’m just sayin) Google is fabulous for telling you whether or not you can sub one flour for another and at what ratio. If all else fails, try your substitutions and if it works out great if not, well then call it a day or keep trying until you’re happy.
Amen!
And to save you a couple of seconds –
1) No. Almond flour and coconut flour are not interchangeable. They have very different properties. You might be able to come up with a mix that works by adjusting other ingredients, but it is NOT 1:1.
2) Tapioca starch and arrowroot are generally interchangeable with minimal textural differences in end product.
3) You can probably sub honey or maple syrup for regular or coconut sugar, but I’d think you’d use less honey/maple than the amount of sugar called for and I’d think you’d need to adjust the recipe to account for the extra moisture.
Bahaha! Took the words out of my mouth (so to speak)!
Someone had to say it!
Agreed!
For those of you concerned about sugar substitutes, any granulated sugar can be subbed one for one most of the time. With honey or maple syrup, it will probably screw up your consistency, so just monitor that and maybe add a tablespoon or two of coconut flour if it’s super thin, although be careful with that because coconut flour is INCREDIBLY absorbent. If you are concerned about the amount of sugar itself, I used about 2/3 of a cup of coconut sugar and they came out fabulously. 🙂
Also, for those of you who can’t have nuts, Juli has a really, really good pumpkin muffin recipe which I believe is based on coconut flour. 🙂
SERIOUSLY!
I made these today! So good. Even my not so pumpkin liking kids loved them. I think choosing ghee instead of coconut oil is what actually made them SUPER good. Thank you!
I made these today. They are delicious. (Ghee! Yup.)
You are seriously the funniest person in the entire world. I am dying of laughter right now!!! And I’m super excited to make these bars….
CaN I use all almond flour instead of tapioca?
Oh my gosh, I love your anecdotes. The snark kills me!
Yum, i love this fall treat!