Something I’ve been working HARD on this year is confidence. For many people out there, confidence doesn’t come naturally…and I am definitely one of those people. Yet I look to confident people with so much admiration and appreciation for what they put into the world, then find myself saying negative things in the mirror to the person looking back. When I think back to where this lack of confidence came from, I think it came from social environments, family experiences, and at the end of the day, my own choice to see myself as less than. But as 2020 became harder and harder, lacking in confidence was no longer an option. I didn’t want to drag myself through the mud daily like I had in the past because much bigger things were going on, and the only thing I felt like I could control was how I viewed the world and how I viewed myself. And with that simple choice, I began working on my confidence daily and seeing myself through rose colored glasses.

Confidence may not come easy to you, but many things didn’t come easy to you in the past, either. Think about when you learned to tie your shoes or ride a bike or learn to snowboard or play a sport. Everything that you’ve learned to do has taken some effort, hard work, and determination. And if you are determined enough to be a confident person, then you will be. It’s as simple as that. And since 2021 is just around the corner, instead of simply thinking about weight loss or weight gain or a specific diet or eating structure, how about you start from within. Because let me tell you something – when you start from within, everything will fall into place on the outside. When you see yourself through rose colored glasses, life becomes more enjoyable. And when life is more enjoyable, you try new things like a workout routine or a new healthy recipe all because it seems like a great thing to do. Life becomes simply about living instead of obsessing.

If you lack confidence now, that doesn’t mean you have to forever. It’s a learned skill that you can work on every single day until it becomes a behavior you don’t even think about. Something I started doing (and I’ve shared this in previous blog posts and podcast episodes) is turning a negative thought into a positive one. Whenever I look in the mirror, I always see cellulite. I have since I was in 7th grade when puberty hit, and those thoughts have never left me. So these days, when I look in the mirror and see the cellulite, I change my negative thoughts into positive ones – Instead of think, “You look disgusting” like I have many, many times in the past, I say, “I am so proud of all the hard work you have put into taking care of your body.” The negative thoughts are overrun in that moment then I am able to move on. It’s simple and it works. It may take a little practice, but with time your brain begins to believe those positive affirmations.

The second thing I do is get rid of the jealousy I have for other people. Whenever I see someone online and begin to think something negative (either about them or about myself in comparison), I stop myself and I admire what they have built for themselves. That may mean I admire their body and how they take care of it or the home they have purchased with their hard earned money. And I often leave them a kind comment to show my admiration. In the past I used to unfollow accounts because they made me feel bad about myself, but that was simply putting a bandaid on an open wound. That open wound was my own insecurities that needed to be worked on first and foremost. Instead of feeling jealous, I feel inspired by others now. Inspired by their hard work, their happiness, their physique, their business, their perseverance, their perspective. Change your jealousy into inspiration and life will truly open up in so many ways.

2021 is coming and I want it to be a year that you feel like a weight is lifted off your shoulders. I want you to look in the mirror and see someone who inspires you. I want you to hang out with a group of people and be the person who you always wanted to be, a person who is unapologetically you. Life is really fucking short. Really short. Tomorrow could be our last day and can you imagine living your last day obsessing over the cellulite you have or even what you don’t have? I want you to wake up feeling like the day is filled with opportunities. I want 2021 to be the year of change for you. So instead of waiting until January 1st, start today. Look yourself in the mirror and compliment yourself. Look to someone online that you feel jealousy for and use them as inspiration for your own life. Find the happiness within so you can give your best self to the world around you. A good life starts with making choices and you can choose to be happy, to be confident, and to make an impact in some way. It’s all up to you.

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  1. Cristine says:

    Love this! I also love the purple bikini you posted on your story the other day! lol Is there a link somewhere??

    1. Julie Jones says:

      Perfect timing! Thank you!

  2. Chelsea Paul says:

    What an honest recap and approach to how you navigate self-love and confidence. Thank you for sharing and for the tips to have more confidence in 2021.

  3. Jana Deatrick says:

    You are just delightful! Love this post so much and I am taking it to heart! Have a wonderful holiday.

  4. Jenna says:

    Great post!! Keep up the good work!

  5. KariVery says:

    “They” say that if someone is jealous or annoyed at someone, it means their own insecurities or shortcomings have been reflected back at them. Since understanding that idea, whenever I have felt jealous or annoyed by someone, the first thing I try and do is think about what is being triggered in me and why. It’s been very eye opening! Turns out, a lot of the time I am just not doing the things I could do to have what they have. I think it’s great that you’re flipping those feelings in yourself around and actually finding inspiration from those that “trigger” you 🙂

    1. juli says:

      whoever They are are so right. and the more you can recognize those insecure feelings, the more free you will feel in the end.

  6. Kristen says:

    Love this post and needed this myself because over the past few months the negative talk has been really really bad. Gained ten lbs and can’t seem to lose just keep gaining. Need to remember this every time I look in the mirror and see myself a little different than before.

    1. juli says:

      yes!! changing your negative self talk makes such a huge difference in the long run!

  7. Lindsey says:

    Juli, I really enjoyed this post. This is certainly something I would like to work on, so, thank you.