Something I’ve decided I wanted to be more vocal about this year is alcohol (you can listen to more of my thoughts in this podcast episode). And that’s because I rarely ever see alcohol consumption questioned…honestly it’s glorified in our society. We use alcohol to celebrate, mourn, unwind, and we even use alcohol to find courage. It’s in our movies, tv shows, music, and social media. It surrounds us and teaches us from an early age that alcohol should be part of our weekly routine. And I noticed this more than ever in 2020. People created memes, reels, stories, and pages all dedicated to drinking because 2020 sucked so damn bad. I would watch person after person create social media content of them reaching for a wine bottle after each devastating blow hit the media in 2020. And using alcohol as a coping mechanism became this ongoing joke between everyone going through the 2020 trauma together, almost uniting everyone in their pain.
But for me, it made me angry. Much of our learning and understanding of the world comes from social media these days, whether we like that or not. So when we show our peers that we are using alcohol as a coping mechanism during a stressful time, we are showing those people that it is a normal to combat our anxiety and depression by consuming something that is quite literally a depressant. Think about that for a second. Alcohol slows down brain functioning and neural activity, which means the more you drink it, the more you dull the senses, which is why people drink during times of stress. But as the alcohol wears off and the hangover sets in, anxiety and depression come back even more heightened than before. And people seem to ignore this and continue to follow the same behavior over and over again, causing more and more issues.
I want to share my thoughts on alcohol not to vilify it, but to hopefully help others question what they are turning to alcohol for. You’ll see many moms on social media with their drinks that say “Mommy’s Juice” and they are drinking by 11am with moms rallying behind them in the comments. Or you’ll see a group of friends take a friend out to drink all night long to cope with their recent break up (been there). But what about REAL coping mechanisms? What about looking deeper at what we are going through, what we can and cannot control, and what steps we can take to keep our bodies healthy during times of stress? Instead of drinking, how about making a nutritious meal? Instead of cocktails, how about going on a walk? Instead of wine, how about meditation?
But I get it – none of these things are sexy…or easy. Telling someone to exercise to keep their mood high isn’t as sexy as telling someone to pour a glass of pinot. It’s just not. And we like sexy. But I’m here to be the black sheep of society and tell you the opposite of what everyone else seems to be shouting – alcohol is terrible for you. You can come at me with all your “wine has antioxidants” bullshit and I will let you know that LOTS of clean foods do, too. And those clean foods won’t lead you to feeling even more depressed than before. Those foods will actually lead you to creating a healthier gut which may even help with your anxiety and depression. (And by the way, I’m not a doctor or a medical professional so you obviously don’t need to listen to me, but if any of your medical professionals are telling you to drink alcohol to help you cope with your issues, you should probably drop them, as well.)
I feel very strong about this topic because I have been the person for years and years who has been made fun of for not drinking. When I began competing in CrossFit at 23 years old, alcohol didn’t fit into my goals. Sure, I would drink from time to time, but I found myself feeling lazy, lethargic, and had extreme anxiety for days afterwards. Not only did it impede my goals in the gym, but it slowed down my progress when it came to my small business. So I stopped my random alcohol binges and stood strong when I would get peer pressured to drink. Leaving behind those drunk nights didn’t lead me to feeling FOMO or loss, it led to more confidence, better performance in the gym, more happiness, better productivity, and a more successful business.
And just FYI, I’m not sober. I had half a glass of prosecco at dinner the other night and a margarita a couple weeks ago. And no, I’ve never dealt with alcoholism in my family or even with my friends. I just want to be the person who makes you look deeper at your choices, just like I hope others would do for me. And believe me, with my blog, PEOPLE DO. I want to be the voice that shares a different idea than the narrative that is so commonly shared on social media these days. I want to be the person who tells you that it is OK to not drink when everyone else is drinking around you. I want to tell you that it is OK to feel like you’re the outsider. And that it is OK to deal with stress and anxiety through healthy coping mechanisms. I want you to know that you are not alone when you choose to not drink.
I wanted to share this post and talk more openly about not drinking/limiting alcohol because I hope that me sharing this makes you look more at your own alcohol consumption, how it affects you, and how it may affect your friends and family. Is it truly benefiting you and the people around you? Is it making you more active and more productive? Is it keeping your anxiety at bay when the world feels completely upside down? For me personally, alcohol does none of these things. It makes me feel worse off than I did in the first place. And even though I’m looked at like the boring one at events or gatherings, I don’t care because I know that not drinking will lead me to a healthier and happier life long term. I hope sharing my own experience helps you find your own healthy balance with alcohol or at least helps you feel like less of an outsider when you decide to not drink. But most of all, I hope that this post makes you look deeper at your own coping mechanisms and helps you look at dealing with stress in a whole new way. Alcohol has its time and place, but it shouldn’t be used to numb the world around us. Life is way too beautiful to not see it for all it is…even in 2020.
Love this message! I’ve slowly been finding alochol’s place in my life and it is becoming fewer and fewer the older I get (I’m only 25 lol). I love that more people are speaking out and saying regular alcohol consumption isn’t for them. Alcohol had ALWAYS given me the worst anxiety the next day but the thought of being the boring friend in college gave me even more anxiety so I would suck it up and head to the bars with friends. Over time I’ve politely created boundaries around alcohol and guess what? I haven’t lost a single friend because of it. Turns out I could have been saying no years ago!
Thanks for sharing your insights, what an empowering read!
This touched my heart. I’m a recovering alcoholic, and have not drank in some time. It was helpful to remember all that my coping mechanisms have gotten stronger this past year. It’s been tough at times, but I do feel stronger. Thank you for inspiring me to reflect on that. This is a wonderful post.
I literally only drink every 5 years when I go on an anniversary trip with the hubby. I have a few margaritas or mojitos, enjoy them immensely, and then go back home. I do not like feeling hungover and bloated, and I generally hate myself after drinking. Why put myself through that? Empty calories and guilt = not worth it. IDGAF what others think of me not drinking – they’re the ones feeling like crap the next day, not me! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this! I have found myself at odds recently with a close friend who just assumed I had been increasing drinking, like she had, during 2020. I guess I hadn’t communicated that I had stopped drinking, and likely didn’t say anything because of how “weird” it would look. What was hard for me me to swallow, was that my friend’s therapist even said that some level of increased alcohol consumption was to be expected! Anyways, thanks again for voicing this.
I love this blog post. I spent most of 2020 pregnant with my second baby and had her at the end of the year. I thought I’d go back to drinking occasionally but it makes me feel like crap so I’m in no hurry to get back! I’m actually treating my anxiety/depression with medication and therapy and there’s no room for alcohol to mess with my meds or my lack of sleep. I drink non-alcoholic beer if I’m “in the mood” to wind down at the end of the day and it really does the trick. I’m glad your message will make many of us feel more confident in our decision
I’m pregnant right now (due today actually) and can really relate to this! I’ve really cut back on drinking over the past few years and didn’t have any alcohol while trying to conceive. It makes me feel like crap and doubt I’ll go back to drinking on any regular basis after this baby pops out.
Yes! Thanks for using your voice and platform. I saw the eye rolling when I stopped drinking 2.5 years ago, I do have close people who abuse alcohol, and this conversation is very near and dear to my heart. Alcoholism is not a joke, a meme or a slogan. And in my opinion clean wine is bull shit. It’s glamorized ethanol. Why we joke and cheer for moms drinking mimosas yet shame and stigmatize people who smoke weed for recreational and therapeutic reasons?
Thank you for this post! Our culture’s glorification of alcohol is really frustrating, and it seems that people are often extremely defensive and combative whenever anyone 1) says they prefer not to drink, or 2) suggests taking a deeper look at how our consumption of alcohol can negatively impact things like anxiety, depression, and our relationships. Which is crazy considering how pervasive alcohol is in so many aspects of our society! I’ve also noticed an increase in the alcohol jokes like “wine mom” and they just make me sad. Hopefully the more people start to speak out about this the more we can normalize adjusting our lens.
Thank you for writing this! I have been slowly starting to take a look at how I drink and why! 2020 my alcohol consumption really spiked and I decided to do a “dry” January. Now I have to admit I have drank during this month (3x). I have really been looking at how I’m feeling, why am I doing it,etc. I have more “work” to do but I agree we are conditioned that alcohol will fix “your problem”. I have been committing to moving my body daily and eating better- and I know when I drink it just leads me off course. Again thanks for writing this and sharing your perspective- I really appreciate it. You rock!!!
Huge YES! Thank you, Juli! Giving up drinking led to more positive changes in my life than I can count. I’m grateful every day I no longer drink.
Way to talk about this unpopular opinion! I listened to a podcast in 2020 from two women who don’t drink- and they talked about how amazing their lives were, and myths about being sober. Sometimes we assume we will be missing something without alcohol- but maybe, like you talk about, digging deep, waking up early, and drinking water can make our lives better than alcohol (though I do like a good marg). Thanks so much for sharing. A beneficial message for sure!!
Could you share what podcast this was? Interested to listen to this one too!
Such great thoughts and sound counsel. I’m going to save this and reread it from time to time. Thank you!!