Something I’ve decided I wanted to be more vocal about this year is alcohol (you can listen to more of my thoughts in this podcast episode). And that’s because I rarely ever see alcohol consumption questioned…honestly it’s glorified in our society. We use alcohol to celebrate, mourn, unwind, and we even use alcohol to find courage. It’s in our movies, tv shows, music, and social media. It surrounds us and teaches us from an early age that alcohol should be part of our weekly routine. And I noticed this more than ever in 2020. People created memes, reels, stories, and pages all dedicated to drinking because 2020 sucked so damn bad. I would watch person after person create social media content of them reaching for a wine bottle after each devastating blow hit the media in 2020. And using alcohol as a coping mechanism became this ongoing joke between everyone going through the 2020 trauma together, almost uniting everyone in their pain.
But for me, it made me angry. Much of our learning and understanding of the world comes from social media these days, whether we like that or not. So when we show our peers that we are using alcohol as a coping mechanism during a stressful time, we are showing those people that it is a normal to combat our anxiety and depression by consuming something that is quite literally a depressant. Think about that for a second. Alcohol slows down brain functioning and neural activity, which means the more you drink it, the more you dull the senses, which is why people drink during times of stress. But as the alcohol wears off and the hangover sets in, anxiety and depression come back even more heightened than before. And people seem to ignore this and continue to follow the same behavior over and over again, causing more and more issues.
I want to share my thoughts on alcohol not to vilify it, but to hopefully help others question what they are turning to alcohol for. You’ll see many moms on social media with their drinks that say “Mommy’s Juice” and they are drinking by 11am with moms rallying behind them in the comments. Or you’ll see a group of friends take a friend out to drink all night long to cope with their recent break up (been there). But what about REAL coping mechanisms? What about looking deeper at what we are going through, what we can and cannot control, and what steps we can take to keep our bodies healthy during times of stress? Instead of drinking, how about making a nutritious meal? Instead of cocktails, how about going on a walk? Instead of wine, how about meditation?
But I get it – none of these things are sexy…or easy. Telling someone to exercise to keep their mood high isn’t as sexy as telling someone to pour a glass of pinot. It’s just not. And we like sexy. But I’m here to be the black sheep of society and tell you the opposite of what everyone else seems to be shouting – alcohol is terrible for you. You can come at me with all your “wine has antioxidants” bullshit and I will let you know that LOTS of clean foods do, too. And those clean foods won’t lead you to feeling even more depressed than before. Those foods will actually lead you to creating a healthier gut which may even help with your anxiety and depression. (And by the way, I’m not a doctor or a medical professional so you obviously don’t need to listen to me, but if any of your medical professionals are telling you to drink alcohol to help you cope with your issues, you should probably drop them, as well.)
I feel very strong about this topic because I have been the person for years and years who has been made fun of for not drinking. When I began competing in CrossFit at 23 years old, alcohol didn’t fit into my goals. Sure, I would drink from time to time, but I found myself feeling lazy, lethargic, and had extreme anxiety for days afterwards. Not only did it impede my goals in the gym, but it slowed down my progress when it came to my small business. So I stopped my random alcohol binges and stood strong when I would get peer pressured to drink. Leaving behind those drunk nights didn’t lead me to feeling FOMO or loss, it led to more confidence, better performance in the gym, more happiness, better productivity, and a more successful business.
And just FYI, I’m not sober. I had half a glass of prosecco at dinner the other night and a margarita a couple weeks ago. And no, I’ve never dealt with alcoholism in my family or even with my friends. I just want to be the person who makes you look deeper at your choices, just like I hope others would do for me. And believe me, with my blog, PEOPLE DO. I want to be the voice that shares a different idea than the narrative that is so commonly shared on social media these days. I want to be the person who tells you that it is OK to not drink when everyone else is drinking around you. I want to tell you that it is OK to feel like you’re the outsider. And that it is OK to deal with stress and anxiety through healthy coping mechanisms. I want you to know that you are not alone when you choose to not drink.
I wanted to share this post and talk more openly about not drinking/limiting alcohol because I hope that me sharing this makes you look more at your own alcohol consumption, how it affects you, and how it may affect your friends and family. Is it truly benefiting you and the people around you? Is it making you more active and more productive? Is it keeping your anxiety at bay when the world feels completely upside down? For me personally, alcohol does none of these things. It makes me feel worse off than I did in the first place. And even though I’m looked at like the boring one at events or gatherings, I don’t care because I know that not drinking will lead me to a healthier and happier life long term. I hope sharing my own experience helps you find your own healthy balance with alcohol or at least helps you feel like less of an outsider when you decide to not drink. But most of all, I hope that this post makes you look deeper at your own coping mechanisms and helps you look at dealing with stress in a whole new way. Alcohol has its time and place, but it shouldn’t be used to numb the world around us. Life is way too beautiful to not see it for all it is…even in 2020.
Thanks for sharing this! I drink rarely. I’m the woman at book club drinking hot tea while everyone else has a bottle of wine. I don’t care for the taste of most beer or wine and would rather drink something else most of the time. My friends and family are used to it by now and often glad to have a sober driver (back when we went places).
Glad you are talking about this. More people need to be talking about this issue. I stopped drinking 11 months ago and couldn’t be happier. It took a lot for me to understand that it was hurting me rather than helping me. I was able to really internalize all the things you mentioned by reading tons of the “quit lit” books out there. I highly recommend them to anyone who is questioning their relationship with alcohol.
Would you mind sharing some book names for me please?
Thank you for sharing this, Juli! I have recently reexamined my relationship with alcohol (I highly recommend “This Naked Mind: 30 Day Alcohol Experiment” for anyone looking for a great resource to kick start their sober-curious lifestyle!) I too haven’t completely given it up but it is so so helpful to take a step back and recognize the WHY behind the drinking and learning to shift our mindset and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Thanks again for sharing!
That book changed my life several years ago! It’s so good. Sometimes I listen to an audio version as a little refresher
Rachael and Annette, I bought The Alcohol Experiment the day I read both of your comments. I was drinking way too much, especially in 2020, it crept up on me so fast. I wanted to stop, but had begun to dangerously use alcohol to “solve my problems” and escape from reality (insert eye roll here). I didn’t know how to get out of this dangerous web I was spinning, but I knew I wanted to. Your comments led me to The Alcohol Experiment. I ordered the Alcohol Experiment and This Naked Mind, I also subscribed to the Podcast. It has been 23 days since I have drank a drop, and many days since I have even thought about alcohol. I don’t miss it, I don’t need it, and I DON’T WANT IT. I feel so good. My brain is no longer foggy, I have energy, I sleep better, I eat better, and I laugh way more. I thought I was depressed but I wasn’t, the alcohol is out of my system and I feel happy, and peaceful! Thank you Juli for talking about alcohol, thank you Rachael and Annette for sharing this book with me, if it wasn’t for you all, I believe I would still be thinking about wanting to stop drinking, but stuck not knowing where to start. Juli, I believe you said this year you were embracing positivity and wanted to help people. Please know that you have impacted my day to day life in a very big way.
Thank you for writing this!!!
I have not had a drink for one month. I found this article to be very helpful.
https://www.thetemper.com/gray-area-drinking/
This is so important and thank you for sharing!! The normalization of alcohol use is everywhere and we need more voices like yours!! -it is also “normal” to not drink and live a healthy life style!!
Thank you for your perspective. After Chrissy Teigen posted about it I bought Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker. I don’t feel I have a drinking problem, but I wanted to learn more. I wanted a new perspective on alcohol. I reached for it more last year than I would have if I wasn’t at my home 24 hours a day due to boredom, trying to turn off my work brain, etc. I’m reading it now slowly to take it all in and wow is it a good read! Highly recommend.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate this so much. It reminds me of the saying about creating a life that you don’t have to drink to get away from. I used to think I could drink and be fine because I don’t get hangovers, but now I realize the anxiety that followed the next day was my version of a hangover. Thanks again!
What a great post, thank you for sharing! I’ve been on and off drinking for the past 10 years. Alcoholism runs in my family and at times, it scares me to think I could go down that path. Then stress hits and I say f*ck it and drink weekly for a few months, before getting scared again. Since I was 18 (I’m 38 now), I’ve had IBS and just recently discovered I have bad acid reflux (like stay in bed wanting to die bad). And I know alcohol is part of that problem. So now, in addition to many other foods in my diet (including coffee and tomatoes ugh), I’m giving up alcohol to help heal my esophagus. But the thought of having a drink right now makes me sick to my stomach knowing the pain it will cause me and the 24 hours wasted trying to feel better. It’s just not worth it anymore.
I have not consumed alcohol regulary in years. After I had my first child, I had no urge to drink. I was tired enough from newborn sleepless nights and alcohol was in no way going to make me feel better. I am pregnant with my second and do not miss alcohol. It is nice to get a fancy cocktail with my meal from time to time at a restaurant, but not having that during pregnancy does not ruin my dining out experience. I had a wonderful alcohol free meal to celebrate my husband’s 40th birthday and it was still just as enjoyable and delicious without a cocktail. Luckily my husband also rarely drinks. We also want to be able to show our kids that alcohol does not need to be a daily or weekly part of their lives.
Thank you so much for sharing this!! I actually started to take a look at my alcohol consumption during the early days of your Podcast when you did an episode on sugar and alcohol. I have always felt a bit like an outsider. When my friends wanted to out drinking at 10:00 PM on a Friday night, I wanted to snuggle my dog and drink superfood hot cocoa LOL. Thank you for making me feel less alone in all this. It is so easy to get caught up in what society sets at the “normal” standard. I just love what you share on your blog and podcast and social media. You are just so dang inspiring!! Cutting down my alcohol to just one or two drinks a month has also improved my fitness goals tremendously!! YOU ROCK!!!!! And I just love you!!
Yes! I quit drinking over a year ago. Not for any other reason than just one drink made me feel like shit. It just wasn’t worth it. I don’t miss it. Now, I did eat a bit more sugar in 2020 than my usual, but who’s perfect?! Sure as hell not me!