Bodies are weird. They’re weird AF. You can change your body fat, your muscle mass, your shape…all by altering a few things about your lifestyle. But then your body will decide to take on a life of it’s own, whether that’s through hormones or pregnancy or stress or menopause or age. For some, bodies change minimally throughout their life. For me, it’s changed a lot. And I’m at a point in my life where I’m able to look back and really marvel at each stage and understand the science experiment that I’ve been putting myself through for years now.
A handful of people have asked for before and after photos. But for me, I have beforeandafter beforeandafter beforeandafter photos that range all throughout my life. That starts before puberty then to starving and binging in my teen years to overeating sh*t food in college then to dabbling in exercise and being afraid of the gym then onto my CrossFit years that have yo-yo’d but never ended. So let’s take a glance down physical memory lane because I think it’s interesting as f*ck and honestly motivating for me to continue on my path and see what will happen in the future.
This photo above spans over 7 years, starting in 2009 on the left, 2010, 2012 then 3 weeks ago in 2016 on the right. My body weight has ranged from 150 pounds then to 125 pounds then up to 160 pounds and now I’m probably around 130 pounds (I only weigh myself once a year at the doctor to make sure I don’t mind f*ck myself).
The photo on the left is definitely at my unhealthiest. I was in college at the time, eating and drinking anything that was handed to me, not caring or knowing what “healthy” meant. Even though I was in Health and Exercise Science in school and knew a general amount of what was good for me, I was still in the high school mindset believing I could eat whatever I wanted and just burn the calories off to stay “skinny”. So at this point I was spending HOURS in the gym on the stairmaster, running for hours on the treadmill and doing some light lifting (but feeling very intimidated by the men in the weight room). I ran my first (and only) half marathon that year and I think that’s what got me started with understanding that dedication leads to something. I started off hardly able to run a mile and slowly increased my distance every day, ran through the winter months, until I was ready for a half marathon. And ended up finishing in under 2 hours, which I was super happy about.
Shortly after running that half marathon, I began to challenge myself to lift more and long story short, found out about CrossFit. I couldn’t do any of the movements because I wasn’t strong enough so I would look at CrossFit workouts on crossfit.com and modify them however I could. Push ups on my knees, pull ups and dips on the assisted machine, kettlebell swings with a dumbbell. Before I knew it, I was seeing strides in my own fitness with being able to do those movements unassisted. At that point, I decided to make the jump to a real CrossFit gym, doing my first competition 3 months later. When I was seeing all these improvements, I wanted more and had to face the facts that my diet was sh*t. Since CrossFit recommended paleo and/or Zone, I decided to try out Zone first then slowly worked my way into paleo. In the second photo, I was eating almost strict paleo (Monday – Friday) but still had some gluten free oats and peanut butter, but absolutely no gluten. When I dropped eating bread and pasta and anything gluten related, not only did I drop weight pretty quickly, but all the stomach issues I had growing up INSTANTLY went away. But even though I had changed my diet so drastically, I still ate sh*tty food on the weekends as my “cheat” days. I would eat nasty ass food like Oreos and pizza and chips and queso. And I would ruin all the strides I had made in the week and was back to feeling sick and awful by Monday. It was a really bad relationship with food at that point, which is why I never use the word cheat anymore when it comes to anything I eat. I was at my thinnest I had ever been but I wanted WAY more muscle and wanted a better relationship with food.
Once I started competing in CrossFit, I was hooked. I loved the nerves, loved the calm feeling before the 3,2,1GO, loved the cheering and camaraderie and the support for women lifting. I had finally found fitness that made sense to me. I didn’t want to run endless hours or count calories to make sure I burned them all off on a bike. I finally found a gym with no mirrors, no judgement, and no bullsh*t. CrossFit was the first place that empowered women because of what they were accomplishing in the gym and I had never felt that before. And I wanted to be part of that. So I started working out every day, rarely taking rest days and constantly increasing my weight load day to day. Every single day in the gym was me giving every single ounce of effort I had all in hopes of making it to CrossFit Games. And the more I worked out, the more results on saw; placing higher and higher at competitions. The third photo, in my white PaleOMG shirt, was actually taken at a competition that I won. I was so excited about my accomplishments, but I was absolutely 100% unhappy in my skin. I continued to gain weight, some muscle and some fat, and my hormonal acne because of lifting was out of f*cking control. I was so unhappy and really stuck with what to do: continue to compete and be unhappy, or end competing and see what happens. So I took the latter and started lifting lighter, taking more rest days, eating more of what I wanted (except for gluten) and being less stressed out.
What’s interesting about these photos is the second, third and fourth photo are all while eating paleo and all while doing CrossFit. The only thing that was different was my priorities and goals. I wanted to lift weights, I did it. I wanted to get better at CrossFit, I did it. I wanted to lose weight and be more comfortable in my skin, I did it. None of these stages came easy. They took blood, sweat and tears and seriously years to reach. It wasn’t a day change, it wasn’t a 30 day cleanse; it was figuring out what I wanted, learning what worked for my body, and constantly experimenting. And I’ll still be doing that for many years to come as my body changes and my priorities change. My point is, remember the big picture. Health and fitness is about the journey. It’s not about the perfect butt or perfect abs or perfect arms. It’s about always striving to be the best YOU. And what’s so awesome about it is that you can strive forever, until the day you die, to be a better version of yourself. Both mentally and physically. So stop obsessing over the little details and just start trying to be better and better, no matter what that better version is.
“Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.”
Sunday – Rest day
Monday –
18 mins to get 5 Rounds Of:
9 L- Pull Ups
9 Strict HSPU
14 KB Walking Lunges (2 x 70/2 x 45). Heavier than usual!!!
I got 4+3 using 45# kettlebells
Then 9 min Ladder Of: (3-6-9-12-15…)
Front Squats (185/125)
Burpees
I got 18+1 using 85#
Tuesday –
Every 30 sec for 10 mins: 1 x Snatch @ 70%. All reps must have a 3 sec pause at knee. (5-10# more than last time) – I used 90#
Then 16 min AMRAP Of:
500m Row
100 Double Unders
400m Run
I got 2 rounds + 225 meters into my third run
Wednesday –
Back Squats: 4 x 7. All sets at 74% (15 mins) – I used 125#
Then 12 min AMRAP Of:
9 Deadlift (225/155)
12 C2B Pull Ups
15 HRPU
I got 4+20 using 125#
Thursday – Rest day
Friday –
Deadlift: 4 x 7. All sets at 74%. Reset at bottom of all reps! (14 mins) – I used 165#
After each Set: 40 sec Top Of Dip Hold On Rings (in hollow)
Then 4min AMRAP Of:
5 Power Clean (225/155) and 15 Wall Ball
– 2min REST THEN –
4min AMRAP Of:
7 Power Clean (185/125) and 15 Wall Ball
– 2min REST THEN –
4min AMRAP Of:
9 Power Clean (155/105) and 15 Wall Ball
I got 3+6 (105#); 2+12 (95#); 2+9 (85#)
Saturday –
With a partner complete: (one person working at a time)
100 calorie row
100 lateral burpees over the bar
100 thruster (135/95)
100 toes to bar
100 lateral burpees over the bar
100 calorie row
We finished in 35:45 using 55#
___________________
At Home or Hotel Gym Workout:
5 rounds for time:
20 jumping lunges
15 pike push ups
10 v-ups
3 minutes rest
5 rounds for time:
20 tuck jumps
15 hand release push ups
10 leg lifts
The Perfect On Sale Gym Outfit:
Nike Bralette (2 colors – 20% off)
Nike Tank Top (4 colors – 30% off)
Zella Front Zip Jacket (33% off)
Onzie Black Leggings (5% off)
Nike 5.0 Free Running Shoes (6 colors – 50% off)
You’re my hero, Juli! Thank you for posting this, for always being honest, and for occasionally calling out the jealous assholes who try to put you down. I think most women go through phases like this, I did for sure! I finally think I’m starting to “get it,” at age 31. I’ve been making a lot of your recipes, I feel amazing, and I have realized I don’t need to or even want to “cheat.” There’s a paleo recipe for almost anything, and you don’t have to feel terrible about yourself for eating something sweet. It’s not really about moderation or deprivation, it’s about treating your body right and giving it the right fuel. Thank you for being such an inspiration and for sharing pieces of your world.
seriously!! the sun came out yesterday and i thought about how a dairy queen blizzard needed to happen once this summer…then i remembered i could just make my own and not feel guilty about it. there are so many better options out there right now at this point, no need to ever feel deprived!
I love this ! Thank you for this ! Truly inspiring, sometimes it’s so hard to figure shit out! You figured it out ! Damn two big thumbs up to you! And hopefully i can figure some shit of my own out
Im not sure this makes sense at all but hey !!
Anyways kbye
Do you have that (on sale) Nike bralette featured in your gym outfit? It’s so cute, just wondering if it’s supportive for bigger chests 😉
i don’t, but i wonder if they have some reviews about it!
Oh my goodness. I was just wishing for before and afters. It’s like you’re a psychic. ???????? I have watched you transition over the past few years and it’s amazing and mind blowing. You are a force to be reckoned with. resding through the other comments I can agree that pregnancy is tough. Giving up your body for a while is an emotional roller coaster. You know you are doing something amazing, but you want to keep the control too. I know you will do great when you head down that road. You will inspire us then also!!
This!!^^ 🙂
so frightening! that’s one of the main reasons that i question having one!
Hi!! I have been following your Insta for a while now and I’m incredibly inspired by you. I to have struggled with my relationship with food and exercise. I’m eating healthier now than I ever have in my life and I exercise 5/6 days a week. I just can’t seem to get the lean and fit look I’m going for. I feel like I need to lift weights but I don’t have a clue about how much weight I should start off with or how many reps. I’m 5’7 and I fluctuate between 135 and 140. Im a stay at home Mom so I’ve been doing the insanity program. I’ve completed it several times and I have never reached my goal. Do you have any advice for me?
i can’t really give you advice knowing nothing about your life, but i can say weight lifting would be really beneficial. i recommend talking to a trainer or a coach to help you get started!
I can’t thank you enough for this post! I’ve been following you for a few years now and always enjoy your humor, honesty and inspiration. I also workout at a crossfit gym as well as run a few times a week so I’m pretty active. I’m also a full time working busy mom to a rambunctious 2 year old so my time is always filled with SOMETHING! My nutrition is always the part of my life that suffers, wether I’m eating on the go or eating mindlessly or because I’m stressed. I feel like I’m always thinking about it too, which adds to the stress! I realized today that I need to really change my view of food and stop obsessing about it. And now here I am, ending up reading this blog entry because I happened to come on to look up the brand of the brown sandals you recently posted! The universe is funny like that 🙂 THANK YOU!
stress really can change our eating habits but being aware and being kinder to yourself can really lead to better behaviors as time goes on! good luck, ryan!
I appreciate this. I’ve struggled with an extremely unhealthy relationship with food, as well as intense hormonal acne. The “science experiment” phrase resonated with me because I’ve put my body through a lot of kinds of diet and exercise craziness. It really can take over and suck all the joy out of life. I’m pretty new to Crossfit, but have been concerned about how to get the results I want without obsessing or going nuts and training to the point where my skin freaks out (has happened before and I’m not liking the turn it’s taken lately). It’s like you’re reading my mind and anticipating what I need to hear. Stop that. (Just kidding; don’t.)Thanks for sharing this.
glad i could help, Kat!
Juli- Thank you for this post. My unhealthiest and highest weight (until I had to do serious medical intervention) was when I was eating the cleanest (no carbs, only chicken, greens, Greek yogurt) and running ultra marathons and training for half ironmans, without taking a rest day. That sent my mind and body into a tailspin that I am still trying to recover from 4 years later. It’s literally crazy what we do to ourselves. I still have to be careful- no exercise trackers, no weighing myself, no counting macros- but under my doctor’s supervision I am finally back to running marathons, albeit a lot slower than I was before. But, that’s ok for now. I’m just happy to be out there and participating again. Your blog is one that really seems to get it- it’s about being healthy, about living life and not about being so wrapped up getting the diet and exercise perfect every single minute and losing sight of why we started this in the first place. You’re a rare gem and thank you for that!
we are always taught that more is better, but i think people are slowly figuring out that is just not the case. finding a healthy balanced life is actually the hard part and definitely takes longer when we’ve beat ourselves up for so long. glad you’re back to doing what you love, even if you’re not coming in first. keep up the hard work!
Thanks so much for sharing your pictures. I’m onto my 17 th hr of personal training here in the UK and my gym has Crossfit going on. I hope to be strong enough one day to join in. I need to loose 30 pounds that I’ve gained since having a broken thyroid. But since training with weights I’m heavier than I ever have been and it’s not coming off! I’ve only just starting seeing real results in my shape just when I was starting to think nothing is happening and I’ve been working really hard. Just goes to show you’re right in that it’s all about perseverance. Now I’m in my late 30’s things are changing slower than they used to. It’s so frustrating sometimes. The two pictures of you on the right are really interesting. I’m much more built like your second from right photo in the white but a little heavier and I want to look like your photo on the far right! So it was a case of not lifting so heavy and taking rest days to get there? Did you also get a lot stricter about your Paleo carbs? Every time I restrict my carbs and eat less sweet potato, plantain or skip one of your little treats like your sweet potato brownies I start to get headaches or migraines and feel knackered!
Any advice would be appreciated.
Love your blog and your candid inspiring photos and as for the food, well, I’ve worked my way through most of your recipes, they’re the most accessible I’ve found whilst tasting really good.
Nicola 🙂
no, i actually started eating MORE carbs in photos 3 to 4. i started eating more potatoes and white rice when i stopped competing because that’s what i was craving so i finally listened to my body and i think it was able to find balance because of it. i was restricting my body from carbohydrates and since i workout on a regular basis, i needed those carbs.
Juli!Like so many people posting here I have followed you for years and love this post!! Hats off to you for figuring it out. I love your comment at the end about how health/fitness is a journey that you can strive for basically forever. I know you have posted before about your new take on moderation and would love to hear more of your thoughts on that. I struggle with being 100% in or out. I love when I whole30 for example and the way I look and feel after but then I find that I do that for example before a trip to Mexico where I can then go wild…. Any thoughts on moderation from you in more detail would be fab 🙂 Keep it up sister you look so happy/healthy!
for me, telling myself that I CAN’T have something makes me go absolutely wild when it comes to eating foods I “shouldn’t”. I feel like i’m kind of a kid; when I’m told i can’t something, i want it WAY more. so i had to tell myself that i could have whatever i wanted and those cravings went away. the whole30 made me go a little crazy so i just eat clean, have desserts when i want them, and still enjoy exciting moments in life like weddings and special events. that’s what has worked for me! i don’t know if that helps but i hope it does!