Over the years, I’ve learned to think of my body as a science experiment. Our bodies are constantly changing along with our environments, so if we want a certain something, we have to experiment with everything else to get it right. I’ve talked about this before and I’m going through it once again. For me, I don’t want to get a whole lot stronger because when I get stronger, I get bigger. And when I say this, please don’t take it offensively. This has nothing to do with anyone else or anyone else’s size. I just honestly don’t want my legs or my shoulders to get bigger. But with CrossFit, and especially right now at my gym since we are in a strength cycle, putting on extra mass is pretty easy for me because I still get excited about getting stronger. I get excited about my lifts getting better and my engine increasing, but then I look in the mirror and I’m not content with what I see.
This isn’t me crying about my weight or complaining I’m not skinny enough. I’ve been there, I’ve done that. Nowadays, I just begin to assess what I’ve been doing lately to gain weight or mass:
- Am I lifting more?
- Am I not taking enough rest days?
- Am I going heavier in my metcons?
- Am I eating more than I usually do?
I go through all these thoughts and start figuring out what has changed and what factors need to be altered to still be happy both physically and mentally. Since we are in a strength cycle at our gym and constantly increasing weights, I had to pull aside the coach and let him know that that’s not something I want to do. I have also decided that for a while now I’m going to mix in some different workouts and try new things to see how my body reacts to it. That means I’ll probably do a CrossFit class, then a Fit class then a Barre class and I may start adding in some yoga. I like being more muscular because I prefer that look and since CrossFit has helped me gain more muscle than I would have ever gained doing anything else, now I am able to manipulate those muscles more and challenge them in different ways. Such as Barre class, which I’m absolutely loving even though it is completely different from CrossFit! I plan to change up my routine for a month or so and see what the difference is because at the end of the day, our bodies and environments are always changing, so we might at well treat them as an experiment and see what happens!
If it were years ago, I would never have been able to do this. I would have gotten frustrated and cried and just not cared enough to understand why things were changing. It’s easier to get pissed off instead of taking the time to evaluate what changes are happening and why. It’s also easier to say something doesn’t work and throw in the towel. Earlier last week, I got a little frustrated then I decided getting frustrated wouldn’t do anything. What would help is my perception on how to alter my situation. I think it’s pretty cool to be able to think of our bodies are experiments instead of things that we have no control over. Sure, we may go through things that we can’t control such as illness or stress or whatever else, but if we are able to mentally control how we see our situations and what will lead us in better directions, we are often able to feel more in control and happier with what we have now. I’m not sure if this is all making sense today, but what I’m trying to say is: remember that you can control your life, one step at a time. There are always hurdles and changes and ups and downs, but if you treat your life, body and mind as a little experiment, you will constantly open your eyes to new and exciting ways to live a healthier and happier life! Now go try new things and get excited about how you’re taking care of your body!
Sunday – Rest Day
Monday – Rest Day – 8 hour drive back home from Nebraska
Tuesday – Back at it after 4 days off!
EMOM x 12: 1 Clean & Jerk. Fist set at 65%. Add as you wish. Goal of 95%. – I got to 125#
Then 15 min AMRAP Ladder Of: (3-6-9-12-15…)
Deadlift (225/155)
Wall Ball
Pull Ups
I got 18 + 42 using 125#
Wednesday –
Back Squats: 4 x 5. All sets at 83% (15 mins) – I used 155# for 2 sets then went down to 145# for 2 sets
Then 3 Rounds For Time: (12 min time cap)
35 / 30 Cal Row
15 Thrusters (115/75)
I finished in 9:48 using 65#
Thursday – Rest day – too sore to function
Friday –
3 rounds for time (19 min time cap):
300m run
25 kettlebell swings (70/55)
60 double unders
25 burpees
Then 3 rounds of: 20 GHD sit ups and 20 jumping lunges
Then I did a Barre Forte Lohi Class!
Saturday – Fit Class
- 7 minute AMRAP warm up: 100m run, 7 goblet squats, 7 high pulls, 7 incline push ups,
- Core workout: 3×1 minute rounds: 1 minute to complete 10 floor press (with barbell or plate) and 10 wipers with weight raised over head then in the remaining minute v-ups, russian twists, and ab mat sit ups. So you’ll do 1 minute of the press, wipers then v-ups then 30 sec rest then do it with russian twists then 30 sec rest, then do it sit ups. And do that 3 times through.
- Then 5 rounds (25 minute time cap) of: (I finished 4 rounds with 3 minutes to go but had to coach so I left early)
- 400m run
- 3/3 kettlebell clean and squat – I used 35# KB
- 2 rounds of Cindy (5 pull ups, 10 push ups, 15 air squats)
- 1 minute plank hold (I did weighted with 25# plate on my back)
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At Home/Travel Workout:
10 minute AMRAP:
20 hand release push ups
20 tuck jumps
1 minute rest
10 minute AMRAP:
20 jumping lunges
20 pike push ups
1 minute rest
10 minute AMRAP:
20 side skaters
20 bench dips
On Sale Fitness Apparel:
This Pretty Blue Racerback Sports Bra (40% off)
This Comfy Tank Top (15% off)
These High Rise Shorts (33% off)
These High Waisted Leggings (33% off)
These Nike Flyknit Running Shoes (33% off)
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What I Ate in a Day:
This is what I ate on Friday! I started my day off at about 5:45am. I had a glass of cold brew coffee with some water added to it along with a splash of heavy cream and stevia extract.
After finishing up my Fashion Friday post and newsletter, I made breakfast around 7am. Breakfast sausage (find the recipe in Juli Bauer’s Paleo Cookbook), sautéed arugula and spinach and Wildbrine kimchi. After breakfast, I took Jackson out for a little morning walk.
After going to the Social Security office to change my name, I headed to my gym to do a quick workout by myself then went to a chiropractor appointment. After that, I went to Barre Forte Lohi for a noon workout. After our workout, a friend and I grabbed bulletproof coffee at Carbon. Sooooo good. Seriously.
Usually a bulletproof coffee will hold me over for a while, but since I hadn’t eaten much, I was pretty hungry once I got home so I snacked on some Milton’s gluten free crackers (just a little bit left in the bag) and heated up one of my pancake breakfast sandwiches (they will be on the blog this week).
I worked on the blog for a while after a late lunch then took Jackson out for a long afternoon walk. Once we got back home, I made shake with frozen banana, almond milk, gelatin, unsweetened cocoa powder and maple syrup.
Since my husband tends to work pretty long hours in the summer, we don’t eat dinner until 8pm most of the time. Which means I want to eat by 6pm. I’m loving this Krave beef jerky for snacks. Yes, it has sugar in it, but I haven’t found another that I really love that doesn’t. All the others I’ve tried are SUPER chewy, like bubble gum, and I’m not a fan of beef bubble gum. So I had a couple pieces of this jerky before dinner!
For dinner, I made tacos with what I had in the fridge: Siete Foods cassava tortilla, Primal Kitchen Foods chipotle lime mayo, sautéed peppers and onions, grassfed ground beef with LOTS of spices and hot sauce, red jalapeños, lime juice, goat cheese, cilantro and homemade tomatillo salsa (which will be on the blog this week!). I was still hungry after one tacos so I ate more just without the taco shell!
If you have any questions about what I eat and why, feel free to leave them below and I’ll answer them ASAP!
Juli: I don’t always post comments, but you’re such an inspiration. Thanks for keeping it real!
PS: It’s was a total pain in the A when I changed my name after marrying the hubs. 😉
awwww thank you so Amanda, glad i could help inspire in some small way! xoxo!
Do you pay any attention to like carb timing or anything like that? I’ve been trying to stick to just fruits and veggies as sides for all of my meals except for just before and after workouts, where I’ll add in starchier carbs – but I’m questioning how important that really is, or if balance is just better.
not at all. i definitely limit my fruit though, the only fruit i really ever eat is either a banana in a smoothie or fruit that is in a dessert. i try not to eat it on a regular day to day basis. but i definitely feel my body crave starchier carbs more when i have really hard crossfit workouts!
OMG – I feel the same, these last couple of months I am getting bigger, my legs especially and now my jeans don’t fit well. I am bummed out too! And by looking at the comments, were not the only ones! You made me look at a Barre workout – thanks for that.
hope you like barre!!
I really appreciate this post. When I started Crossfit the only message out there was how women were so stupid for not doing Crossfit bc they don’t want to get big & that crossfitting won’t make you big and you’re dumb if you think that. Then I did Crossfit and my legs and butt were like KAPOW and I felt pretty frustrated and also like I shouldn’t be frustrated. I’m happy there’s someone being honest and saying that some body types put on muscle & bulk up with Crossfit workouts and that if you don’t love that it’s ok! And you can still do Crossfit just stand up for yourself. Anyway, thank you!
lol RIGHT?!?! omg, i’ve been swimming in a sea of men the whole time i’ve done crossfit and all they tell me is how crossfit doesn’t make you bigger…but then i put on 30 pounds while working out with them and look like a different person since i stopped working out with them. hmmmmmm. i absolutely love that crossfit opened more opportunities for women to feel good lifting weights and feeling stronger, but we should also be able to make the conscious decision on how strong we want to be. if we are working out and taking care of ourselves and still pushing ourselves both mentally and physically, i think that’s more important that your squat weight or how fast you do a workout. but it took me a while to get there. thanks for understanding, amy. not everybody does and that’s why it was so scary and hard to write about this stuff in the first place. i never want to put anyone down for their decisions on their bodies, i just want to show there are other opinions and THAT’S OK!
Juli,
I never comment on anything but I had to tell you I loved reading this! I suffer with body issues everyday especially as I get older. It’s nice to know I am not alone. I have been doing Crossfit for 3 years. I loved how it changed my body at first..I lost weight and leaned out and I was happy with my body for the fist time since having my two beautiful children then I started to bulk up especially in my legs which is a huge issue for me. I have backed off Crossfit quite a bit but in turn have started hating my body again. I am also trying different things to see what will help me get back to that happy place.I bike and I run and I tried Barre for the first time last week and love it!! I also have done yoga for years since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. It was the only exercise I could do at the time and it helped me both mentally and physically so I hope it does the same for you. Thank you for sharing your struggles with your own body issues!
good for you for continuing to workout while having fibro. my mom has it and she can barely get out of bed somedays, but i know eating clean and continuing to move is suppose to help. so great work and keep kicking ass! isn’t barre fun?! it’s such a mind game, trying to stick with movements while your body is practically seizing! i’m excited to try yoga and push myself in a different way. i have a hard time being calm for 1 whole hour but i’m excited to try more fast paced things like yoga sculpt! thanks for the sweet comment, it’s awesome to hear when people connect with those same struggles (since so often that is frowned upon with CF)
Juli,
This has been a long time coming – thank you for your transparency and honesty regarding crossfit and the changes in your physique!! I thought I was crazy until I read one of your posts awhile back regarding not being comfortable at a certain size/weight. When I began crossfit I put on weight, to include those fluffy legs you talk about. I gained strength but I felt physically miserable. I really though there was something wrong with me because other women didn’t seem to be bothered by the extra weight. It wasn’t until I read your story and heard you on a couple of podcasts that I realized this is not an uncommon reaction to crossfit workouts and I’ve since heard additional men and women discuss how the workouts can raise cortisol levels in some people. It just reinforces the fact that we must determine the style of workouts that best suit us just as we must determine which foods our bodies can handle and which ones are inflammatory – it’s different for everybody.
Please don’t listen to the critics, I think their statements are more about themselves than about you. Thank you again!!
Michelle
Hi Julie,
Thank you so much for the wonderful content! I’ve followed your blog for some time and have enjoyed watching you evolve as an athlete. Some time ago, you stopped lifting super heavy and you seem to be quite happy with that decision. I’m considering doing the same for aesthetic reasons, but I’m worried that I will enjoy CrossFit less if I limit myself in this way. So much of what I love about CrossFit is the satisfaction that I achieve from chasing numbers and aiming for heavier lifts. How do you manage to maintain a sense of progress in your workouts when you cap the weight that you allow yourself to lift? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
And again, thanks for everything!
that part is very very hard at first. i honestly cried a good amount when i decided to go lighter, but i knew it was the best thing for my body so i stuck with it, even when seeing the disappointment on my coaches eyes. but you find a new kind of progress. at first, you see your number decrease and you may feel weak and slow (just my experience) but then you find a new way to push yourself. whether that is just going faster because you aren’t going as heavy or chasing someone you always use to beat. you find yourself weaker, but you also find new things to get better at. i took the time to get more flexible and comfortable in my lifts and when would go for 1 rep PR’s, I would always tell the coach that i got a NLPR (new life PR). think of it as starting a new job. you made all this progress at your old one, then you decided to take a new one where you had to start lower and you’re working your way back up again. you’ll find things to be proud of if you really love it like you sound like you do. it’s a weird and frustrating road, but i’ve been so happy with my choices in the end.
I just found your blog (yes, I am often late to parties) but all you said is what many of us feel. I am older than you but, since I have no kids, I am in a perpetual state of infancy. I have been training for decades and still struggle with the “right mix” Do what feels right – not what is in, or what is expected, or what everyone else is doing. Your body, your life.
I just love this! You are an inspiration to all of us Juli! I may be your 1 in 1,000,000 non-paleo and non-cross-fitter follower but I LOVE your cookbooks, your style, and your way with words!
I’m a runner but fell in love with barre 3 years ago after having my 1st baby. I needed a workout that wouldn’t leave me feeling completely exhausted and would tone those tiny muscles that my other workouts weren’t. Another baby later and I’m the strongest and most toned I’ve ever been. Glad you’re embracing the shake too!
I’m so curious and excited to see how it changes your already fantastic body!
You do you, girlie! I find this whole conversation fascinating and definitely identify with less being more when it comes to working out. I see so many females doing ironmans, marathons, etc and while I applaud their dedication, I hear so many of them complain about weight gain (not all, but it definitely seems to happen to more females than men). For whatever reason, female hormones can really become stressed out with too much exercise. I had to put working out on hold for years b/c of auto-immune issues…every time I did anything remotely high intensity, it resulted in wacky thyroid numbers and weight gain. Echoing what you have said in other posts, when I decided to take it easy (for me it meant limiting myself to walking and not overthinking things), I lost A TON of weight easily. Now I’ve added some exercise backin (orange theory 0-2 times a week) back in, but only moderately. Our bodies really are science experiments and are NOT static – they are always changing! You look fabulous at every point of your workout journey. Good luck in your new experiment.