Yep. Face is stillllllllll peeling. It’s really great. I just love it. Why wouldn’t I want to spend 3+ hours in the mirror a day picking at my face? Yes I know I’m not suppose to pick. But I look like Benjamin in his old/young days. That made no sense. I look like BenjieB when he was born and look like an 80 year old. Raking in those dudes. That’s all I do.

So last night, I curled up in my bed, happy as a clam then woke up rested AND STARVING. So I meandered on over to the kitchen to make some delicious coffee and decided to get balls deep in some peanut butter. I know it’s not paleo ya d*ck. But I felt like eating half my body weight in fat was the smart thing to do. Oh and I ate this coconut dessert recipe by Elana that I made over the weekened…on a Saturday night…by myself. Yeah, I’m THAT cool. But anyways, while consuming this peanut butter and coconut dessert, sometimes at the same time, I glanced over at the clock to find out….it was 2:45am. I was eating my body weight in fat at 2:45am. I felt like a failure. Then was pissed I had to go back to sleep. I’m like a drunken mess, minus the drunk part.

So I’m really trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing on Twitter. Still. I don’t exactly understand some of the things people are saying. I feel like how my parents must feel when I’m talking to them about CrossFit and it sounds like code. Reading some people’s Tweets and RT’s and #FF’s just doesn’t all make sense. I literally keep having to google what some of these trends mean. I’m 23 years old people. I should be pr-tothe-ofessional. But instead I find myself going into the ‘Help’ section on my Twitter account, daily. Or sometimes I text my friend Diego to ask him what the hell I’m doing. He’s a Tweet pro. Then I just hashtag every single word. What do you mean #of isn’t a trend?! You know nothing.

Wanna know what hands down is my favorite “paleo” chocolate cake in the world??! No, I’m not even kidding. I would honestly make this then hide it in my room, under my bed, just so Laura couldn’t have any. I’m that desperate for chocolate cake. It’s seriously THAT good. Check out this Easy Black and White Cake by Elana. If you’re pissed because it has white chocolate chips in it, you’re high. It’s totally worth it. I dream about it. My mouth is literally salivating as I type. I need to be careful. Salivating onto your keyboard is dangerous. Believe me, I would know.

5.0 from 12 reviews

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Chocolate Cashew Butter
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 

Serves: 4+
 

Ingredients
  • 2 cups dry roasted cashews
  • ¼ cup melted coconut oil (you can use walnut, almond, etc.)
  • 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 2 tablespoons raw honey
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon sea salt

Instructions
  1. Add your roasted cashews to your food processor and turn on. Let the food processor do it’s magic.
  2. When the cashews are become thicker and almost ball up into a ball of happiness, add your oil directly to your cashews while the food processor is still running.
  3. Once your get a runnier nut butter, turn food processor off, then add your cocoa powder, honey, vanilla, and salt.
  4. Turn back on to let everything incorporate.
  5. Add more oil if you want a more runny nut butter.
  6. Consume with anything. Apples. Carrots, On a burger. Serious. I just eat it by the spoonful. I’m classy.

oopsies poopsies. i ate some.

that jar was gone in a day. keep being awesome juli. ew, talking to myself in the 3rd person isn’t cool