You all should know something. I bought a new computer. I took the plunge and bought a Mac. That’s some expensive sh*t right there. It pretty much cost the same as my first car…which is the same car I have now. As you can tell, I don’t love to spend a ton of money. Unless it’s on something that’s covered in chocolate or cooked to a medium rare. But this was a must. Gotta feed you. Gotta blog. Gotta annoy you daily.

I still don’t know how to use it. And I’m not going to try to teach myself. Because then I’d just miss out on so many possibilities. I may even start making some cooking videos again. More embarrassment to share for the world wide web. Like I haven’t ruined my name enough as it is.

So I had big plans for this weekend. BIG plans. I didn’t have to work at the gym so I planned on doing something crazy. Like drink heavily and sleep in the next day. Especially because it was my friend Sarah’s 30th birthday. And this girl looks RIDICULOUS for being 30. It makes me wish I was 30. If my ass EVER looks like that, my life will be complete. But my ass didn’t even look that good before puberty hit and genetics took over. So my life may stay incomplete. I guess I’m cool with that.

But you know what birthdays mean…it means it’s time to drink. And get far more drunk than the person’s birthday it is. Well not really, it means eat delicious food to me. But I thought it would be a good weekend to consume alcohol. I was wrong. Found that out when my stomach decided to take on a stomach bug. How the hell did I get that? I definitely didn’t eat anything weird. Definitely haven’t been making out with anyone to catch something from them. It’s bullish*t. I should not have to take on any sort of illness that makes my insides feel like they are flipping inside out unless I make the conscious decision to make out with someone who has the same sketch illness.

I feel single frustration rants coming on. I feel em’.

What in the hell am I going to be for Halloween?

4.8 from 19 reviews

Pumpkin Bread French Toast
Prep time

Cook time

Total time


Serves: 2-3

For the bread
  • 1 cup pepitas
  • ⅓ cup Pumpkin Puree
  • 6 dried dates, pitted
  • 3 eggs
  • 2 tablespoons Coconut Flour
  • 2 tablespoons Coconut Oil, melted
  • 3 tablespoons Raw Honey
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 tablespoon cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon nutmeg
  • ⅛ teaspoon ground ginger
  • ⅛ teaspoon ground cloves
  • ¼ teaspoon baking soda
  • ¼ teaspoon baking powder
  • pinch of salt
To make it into french toast
  • ⅓ cup canned coconut milk
  • 1 egg, whisked
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • pinch of cinnamon
  • 2 tablespoons Coconut Oil, melted

  1. Preheat over to 375 degrees.
  2. First we gotta roast those pepitas. Place a tablespoon of coconut oil in a medium sized pan over medium. Toss your pepitas in and roast on all sides for about 3 minutes or until lightly browned and fragrant.
  3. Now add your pepitas to a food processor and process them down until they become a flour.
  4. Add your dates and puree.
  5. Then add your pumpkin puree, coconut flour, coconut oil, honey, vanilla extract, eggs, and all other ingredients for your bread. Puree it all up until smooth.
  6. Grease a 9.3×5.2 inch bread pan with some coconut oil (or other size will do), pour in mixture and bake for 30-35 minutes.
  7. Let cool.
  8. When pumpkin bread has cooled, whisk together your french toast ingredients (minus the coconut oil) in a shallow bowl.
  9. Heat up a skillet or griddle and add your coconut oil to it.
  10. Cut your bread into ½-1 inch slices, dip them in your egg mixture on both sides, then place on griddle to cook for 2-3 minutes per side.
  11. Top french toast off with maple syrup and grass fed butter (or coconut butter for dairy free) because that’s what all french toast should be topped with.
  12. Consume it. Thank the world that it’s fall. And love life.