Yep. Face is stillllllllll peeling. It’s really great. I just love it. Why wouldn’t I want to spend 3+ hours in the mirror a day picking at my face? Yes I know I’m not suppose to pick. But I look like Benjamin in his old/young days. That made no sense. I look like BenjieB when he was born and look like an 80 year old. Raking in those dudes. That’s all I do.
So last night, I curled up in my bed, happy as a clam then woke up rested AND STARVING. So I meandered on over to the kitchen to make some delicious coffee and decided to get balls deep in some peanut butter. I know it’s not paleo ya d*ck. But I felt like eating half my body weight in fat was the smart thing to do. Oh and I ate this coconut dessert recipe by Elana that I made over the weekened…on a Saturday night…by myself. Yeah, I’m THAT cool. But anyways, while consuming this peanut butter and coconut dessert, sometimes at the same time, I glanced over at the clock to find out….it was 2:45am. I was eating my body weight in fat at 2:45am. I felt like a failure. Then was pissed I had to go back to sleep. I’m like a drunken mess, minus the drunk part.
So I’m really trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing on Twitter. Still. I don’t exactly understand some of the things people are saying. I feel like how my parents must feel when I’m talking to them about CrossFit and it sounds like code. Reading some people’s Tweets and RT’s and #FF’s just doesn’t all make sense. I literally keep having to google what some of these trends mean. I’m 23 years old people. I should be pr-tothe-ofessional. But instead I find myself going into the ‘Help’ section on my Twitter account, daily. Or sometimes I text my friend Diego to ask him what the hell I’m doing. He’s a Tweet pro. Then I just hashtag every single word. What do you mean #of isn’t a trend?! You know nothing.
Wanna know what hands down is my favorite “paleo” chocolate cake in the world??! No, I’m not even kidding. I would honestly make this then hide it in my room, under my bed, just so Laura couldn’t have any. I’m that desperate for chocolate cake. It’s seriously THAT good. Check out this Easy Black and White Cake by Elana. If you’re pissed because it has white chocolate chips in it, you’re high. It’s totally worth it. I dream about it. My mouth is literally salivating as I type. I need to be careful. Salivating onto your keyboard is dangerous. Believe me, I would know.
Chocolate Cashew Butter
- Yield: 4+ 1x
Ingredients
- 2 cups dry roasted cashews
- 1/4 cup melted coconut oil (you can use walnut, almond, etc.)
- 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
- 2 tablespoons raw honey
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon sea salt
Instructions
- Add your roasted cashews to your food processor and turn on. Let the food processor do it’s magic.
- When the cashews are become thicker and almost ball up into a ball of happiness, add your oil directly to your cashews while the food processor is still running.
- Once your get a runnier nut butter, turn food processor off, then add your cocoa powder, honey, vanilla, and salt.
- Turn back on to let everything incorporate.
- Add more oil if you want a more runny nut butter.
- Consume with anything. Apples. Carrots, On a burger. Serious. I just eat it by the spoonful. I’m classy.
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You May Also Like:
Easy Chocolate Almond Butter Cups
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You are so incredibly hilarious. I somehow stumbled upon your site and I’m incredibly grateful. You are such a happy joyful person – I really appreciate that.
I understand you are lacking love right now, but it will come to you when you least expect it. Just keep being you and don’t ever forget to seize a moment when you feel a connection with possible mr. right.
I’m looking for better solutions to feeding my family and my oh so picky 2 and 4 year old.
I’m a stay at home mama (previously corporate workin mama) and learning how to do the whole stay-at-home thingy. Kinda crazy when you’re knee deep in potty training, tantrums, playdoh and more hugs you could ever ask for to think about cooking healthy, and especially when all they want is crap food (jellybeans, m&m’s,), which yes, they’ve learned about from me. DOH!! They love fruit, so I’m lucky there and I try to buy organic when it’s available.
My 4 year old loves meat so I think she’ll really enjoy so many of your recipes. I’m lovin’ the barbacoa!!
I really badly want to feed my family clean and wholesome, energy providing foods. I’ve found the place (here at your blog) to do that AND get tons of good laughs too.
You are one of a kind!!
🙂
YOU are freaking awesome Shelley! Thank you so much for the amazing comment. I’ve never been knee deep in playdoh or potty training, but I’ve definitely had to deal with my own tantrums at times and that’s exhausting on it’s own. I can’t imagine what it’s like with 2 little ones to deal with. Well, I hope my recipes help you out! And can’t wait to hear from you again hopefully :):)
I just made this for the first time…it was so easy and amazing. I will definitely be eating this by the spoonful! Thanks!
Glad you like it Jill!!!
Holy s…, Juli! I just made this stuff–I had a cup of puree’d cashews that I screwed up in another recipe so I figured I’d finally try this–and I wondered what happens when you make it with butter instead of coconut oil (sure, ghee would work, but I don’t have ghee…) and OMG FOODGASM! My husband and I just scarfed down the whole cup! I don’t know if this is safe to mix up and keep in the house! Wow, I have never tasted an organic nut butter that I’ve liked yet, because they’re all sugar free, and wow, honey and vanilla was all it needed? Jeez! (What other nuts do I have laying around–pecan, macadamia…hmmmm. This could lead to butt growth…
Oh, and forgot to mention, lazy me, I made this in the magic bullet and it blended great–better than my last attempt at nut butter in a food processor!
haha yeah I have to keep my nut butter making under control, i’m really good at gaining weight so i need to keep it together. glad you liked it!! with butter?? oh sh*t yeah!
Thank you SO MUCH for introducing me to the world of nut butters!!! I had some walnuts, made some walnut flour/meal for a recipe, had leftover and just continued to grind it up and made some de-lish walnut butter. Had it not been for your postings about nut butters, I hate to say it, but the ground walnuts would have probably just gotten tossed because I wouldn’t have had any idea what else to do with them because by the time I got around to using them again they probably would have gone bad. Instead, I have a little bit of deliciousness!! Thank you!!
You’re welcome Rena!!! Glad they got used for something!!
unfrakinbelievable 😀
just what i needed!
Glad I could help Kristi!
I don’t even like cashews, but this is HEAVENINMYMOUTH!!! on a spoon!
If you workout like such a maniac- not an insult, and tell us you have cellulite- I’m doubtful, whats the average girl supposed to do? (Not eating this nut butter is NOT an option.) I work with a trainer 3hours a week strictly lifting weights. I do cardio, admittedly not enough… but I have this strip of fatass that will not budge!!!
I need help!!!
SF
Girlfriend, if I had the answer for cellulite, I would be rich as f*ck. F*CK cellulite, i hate it. I hate it so much. My ass refuses to shed the cellulite. I wish I could help you more. Let’s find the secret together and make millions.
DAMN!!! Is all I have to say about this nut butter. I finally bought a food processor today ( I know, pretty lame) and this was the first thing I made. It is heaven! I will just be eating by the spoonfuls, and I doubt it will actually be eaten on any food. Thank you for your awesome recipes!!
Woot woot!! Glad you liked it Shayne!
I’m sitting here eating this with a spoon. Juli, I love you and your nut butter. You are my idol. ‘Nuf said.
I just ate what i believe to be 2 cups of cashews. i do not feel good because i chased them down with most likely 1 cup of chocolate chips…am i still your idol?
I just made a batch of this stuff up and OMFG…… it is AMAZING AND SINFUL AND DELICIOUS AND……. I think i am going to eat the whole batch.. i’m definitely not sharing this one.. all for me..hehe.. You are the BOMB… you ROCK… YES, YOU ARE A FREAKING ROCK STAR.. TY TY TY <3
Glad you liked it Dannielle! Sh*t is redonk huh?