Relationships stress me out. And I’m not even in one. But many of my friends are, and their relationships REALLY stress me out. They’re so overwhelming at times. They like each other, then they hate each other. They complain about each other, then they can’t take their hands off each other. They’re like children. And I don’t like children.
I know for a fact my food will never complain, that’s why I’m in a relationship with it. I take good care of my food and it takes good care of me. We have a very understanding and healthy relationship. I may seem weird and kind of like a leper with the amount of time I spend in the house, in my kitchen, on a Friday night, but I’m sure as hell not fighting with my food at the bar, while others stare on with drunken eyes. I hate drunken people fights. I love watching them. Car wreck in human form.
The moral to this story is – annoying relationships suck. So get out of them if you are one of the people that fills their friends ears with complaints about their significant other. We don’t care. Your significant other obviously doesn’t care. So you shouldn’t care. And you should find yourself a new partner. Meaning paleo food. Like this recipe. Why wouldn’t you make CARAMEL BARS your new lover? I’ve done it twice now. Two times. Two times a lady, if you will.
Chocolate Coffee Caramel Bars
- Yield: 3-4 1x
Ingredients
For the crust
- 12 dried figs (or dates, if you prefer), stems removed
- 1/2 cup almond butter
- 1/4 cup Unsweetended Shredded Coconut
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
For the caramel
- 12–14 medjool dates, pitted and soaked in water for an hour
- 5–6 tablespoons canned coconut milk
- 3 tablespoons water
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
For the topping
- 1 cup Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips or dark chocolate, melted
- 1/4 cup canned coconut milk
- 2 teaspoons ground coffee
- coarse sea salt, to top
Instructions
- First make your crust. Add all of your crust ingredients into a food processor and mix until well combined. Add the crust mixture to abread pan and push down until the mixture is flat. Like a crust. Duh.
- Now add your dates and pulse until dates have broken down (less than a minute) then add your coconut milk tablespoon by tablespoon to the dates while the food processor is still running. Then add your water as well.
- And add your vanilla extract and pinch of salt.
- Process until you get a caramel. BOOM. May take 3-5 minutes, tops.
- Pour caramel over your crust and spread evenly.
- Now you will want to melt your chocolate. You could do this in a double boiler or just the microwave. I chose the latter.
- Melt chocolate and coconut milk together in the microwave. Heating for 30 seconds then mixing well and reheating when necessary.
- Once your chocolate is completely melted, add your ground coffee and mix well.
- Pour melted chocolate over your caramel and spread evenly.
- Add coarse sea salt on top of the chocolate.
- Put in freezer to let chocolate harden. Around 10+ minutes.
- Eat!!
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More Layered Ideas For Ya:
Chocolate “Peanut Butter” Cookie Bars
Holiday Raspberry Caramel Tart
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You are truly a woman I admire – I couldn’t have said better how I feel about relationships and listening re other people’s relationships. My one true love is also food! Would it be weird to have framed photos of ones favorite dishes framed and on the wall? Although I have wonderful grown sons and grandkids, I don’t like children either, as a rule. Thanks for the awesome recipes.
Holy Shit! We were made for each other! You hate relationships….I hate relationships! You hate kids….I hate kids! You spend Friday night in the kitchen making food porn….I spend Friday night in the kitchen making food porn! And they say internet relationships never work out…….
This recipe and a little Louis Prima….I am so ready for a great night. 😉
Is ghee or coconut butter an acceptable replacement for the almond butter?
no, they are very different and wouldn’t work for this recipe
I just made these. My Black&Decker food processor couldn’t handle the crust ingredients. I had to do batches in my Magic Bullet. Are you allowed to suggest a great food processor – as I’m sure I’ll want to make these again. The first 2 layers are super sweet, but the bitterness of the dark Enjoy Life chocolate helps cut the sweetness when all the layers are together. Can’t wait to make the Pecan Caramel bars!!
You should just date Jimmy Dever. . . I’m not biased or anything ha
cant wait to try this one!
LOL You make me laugh every day. I love your blog, as much for you, if not more, than your recipes which I really like, too. You are a hoot and I enjoy your dialog. Keep up the spectacular work!
This is the first “treat” recipe I’ve made from your blog, and I just wanted to say how ridiculously good they turned out. I cut them really small and have eaten a ton of them in the past day. It’s kind of miraculous how the dates and coconut milk (I used Trader Joe’s coconut cream and a couple extra Tbsp of water) turn into the “caramel.” My only recommendation is to suggest a specific size pan. I wasn’t sure what you meant by bread pan and thought if I used a loaf pan, they would be too thick, so I used a 9″ round pie plate. The thickness was perfect. Thank you for all your hard work!
My first treat recipe from your site. A piece of heaven! My husband keeps blaming me for him falling off the paleo wagon. I don’t think he believes that I didn’t use refined sugar and butter! We are not missing our old life!
I had no figs, but did have some very brown leathery unsulphered peaches. I soaked them first, drained well and proceeded from there. I also doubled the amount of dates, as 12-14 dates in my food processor just isn;t enough volume for the blade to get a hold of. Really delish. Thanks. Messy as hell to make though fun to like the spatulas.
Oh man. I made these tonight, but I soaked the dates in water and RUM before making the caramel.
Happy New Year, indeed.