Relationships stress me out. And I’m not even in one. But many of my friends are, and their relationships REALLY stress me out. They’re so overwhelming at times. They like each other, then they hate each other. They complain about each other, then they can’t take their hands off each other. They’re like children. And I don’t like children.
I know for a fact my food will never complain, that’s why I’m in a relationship with it. I take good care of my food and it takes good care of me. We have a very understanding and healthy relationship. I may seem weird and kind of like a leper with the amount of time I spend in the house, in my kitchen, on a Friday night, but I’m sure as hell not fighting with my food at the bar, while others stare on with drunken eyes. I hate drunken people fights. I love watching them. Car wreck in human form.
The moral to this story is – annoying relationships suck. So get out of them if you are one of the people that fills their friends ears with complaints about their significant other. We don’t care. Your significant other obviously doesn’t care. So you shouldn’t care. And you should find yourself a new partner. Meaning paleo food. Like this recipe. Why wouldn’t you make CARAMEL BARS your new lover? I’ve done it twice now. Two times. Two times a lady, if you will.
Chocolate Coffee Caramel Bars
- Yield: 3-4 1x
Ingredients
For the crust
- 12 dried figs (or dates, if you prefer), stems removed
- 1/2 cup almond butter
- 1/4 cup Unsweetended Shredded Coconut
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
For the caramel
- 12–14 medjool dates, pitted and soaked in water for an hour
- 5–6 tablespoons canned coconut milk
- 3 tablespoons water
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
For the topping
- 1 cup Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips or dark chocolate, melted
- 1/4 cup canned coconut milk
- 2 teaspoons ground coffee
- coarse sea salt, to top
Instructions
- First make your crust. Add all of your crust ingredients into a food processor and mix until well combined. Add the crust mixture to abread pan and push down until the mixture is flat. Like a crust. Duh.
- Now add your dates and pulse until dates have broken down (less than a minute) then add your coconut milk tablespoon by tablespoon to the dates while the food processor is still running. Then add your water as well.
- And add your vanilla extract and pinch of salt.
- Process until you get a caramel. BOOM. May take 3-5 minutes, tops.
- Pour caramel over your crust and spread evenly.
- Now you will want to melt your chocolate. You could do this in a double boiler or just the microwave. I chose the latter.
- Melt chocolate and coconut milk together in the microwave. Heating for 30 seconds then mixing well and reheating when necessary.
- Once your chocolate is completely melted, add your ground coffee and mix well.
- Pour melted chocolate over your caramel and spread evenly.
- Add coarse sea salt on top of the chocolate.
- Put in freezer to let chocolate harden. Around 10+ minutes.
- Eat!!
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More Layered Ideas For Ya:
Chocolate “Peanut Butter” Cookie Bars
Holiday Raspberry Caramel Tart
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Holy CRAP these are awesome! The caramel is the best in my book…wanted to just eat it out of the food processor bowl…well, I did…licked it clean after puttin’ the rest in the pan. What’s even more awesome, is that these suckers are rich enough that I didn’t feel the “need” to plow through them all at once. Love the blog…keep ’em comin!
Yeah they are super duper rich! Glad you liked them!
I hate caramel. I know… But my daughter loves it, so I made it for her, on her birthday. This is AWESOME! even I liked it. The fig crust is brilliant and rich. The “caramel” is a delicious, superior alternative for the real thing and the chewy chocolate topping is excellent. Thanks again!
Thank you so so much! Glad you guys liked it!!
I made this for Easter dinner- so so fantastic!! Everyone loved them & us cave people were glad to be able to indulge! Thank you!
I made these for Easter dinner too. I posted a picture on facebook and actually had two friends come over just for desert. We all loved it!!!
great!!! glad you all liked them!
Good!! Glad you felt that sweet satisfaction 🙂
Wow! These are divine.
I made these on saturday to help us study over easter… I had to make the caramel pecan bars today to help us study over easter…There are 2 days left before uni resumes, so banana bread french toast may have to help us study tomorrow!!
Thank you for such a great blog, fantastic food, and a great laugh!!
Much love from Oz!
Thanks so much for your support Kirstie!
so we are having these again tonight… couldn’t help but share them with friends! A perfect way to end easter & kick off whole30 tomorrow.
glad you like them!
This post was hilarious and so true. I am falling in love with this blog!
Glad you like the blog Casey 🙂
Yum, made these yesterday!
Hi do you make your own almond butter? In Australia its around $7 per cup so it makes most of your yummy recipes expensive! If you have a recipe to make it could you please send to me as Id love to try this. I just started Paleo a month ago and am loving it!
I do often make my own almond butter!! How much are raw almonds out there?
Hi Juli they are around $10 a kilo. Could you please give me your recipe for Almond butter so I can make my own and then can make all your yummy recipes! Thanks!
Here ya go, Cherie! It’s SUPER easy! I like to add some type of oil (almond, pecan, coconut, etc.) to add a little flavor. 🙂
http://heathereatsalmondbutter.com/recipes/homemade-nut-butter/
WOW….. these are awesome. Took them out the cabin as an alternative to the normal junk food that people bring out. Everyone loved them! Thanks
Love, love your blog! I just made these, and for those who do dairy, I invented my own alternative caramel: 1 8 oz. pkg. of organic full-fat cream cheese, 1 c. coconut sugar, and 1 tsp. vanilla extract. Just beat everything together, and it comes out with a really good caramel flavor. Yum.
That sounds AMAZING. I love cream cheese!!
These look incredible! I love your blog..your humor and of course, the recipes. My Husband is a HUGE fan of the Coconut mushroom chicken and every time I make it, he practically licks the plate. I will definitely be trying these babies…OMG, they look amazing. I read the comment from the person who’s husband is allergic to Almonds. Perhaps she could use Walnut butter? Just a thought.