I have a straight up issue right now. Legit ISH SHEW. Ok, so last week, I was being a really great friend and taking Sergio coffee. I bought two lattes at one of my favorite coffee shops then headed over towards Sergio’s house. It was snowing, again, so I was trying to get out of my car without getting slushed. So, to not get completely bombarded with yellow slushy snow, I placed one coffee on top of the other, kicked open my door, grabbed my purse, and sh*t got crazy. One of the coffees legit jumped out of my hand (meaning it fell off of the other coffee) and spilled everywhere (meaning the lid came off and completely poured out onto my car floor). I literally sat there screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOO….OOOOO….OOO for a good 30 seconds, pretty much until I couldn’t breathe anymore. Then I stared at the coffee as it sunk into the carpet. Then I threw my scarf on top of it in a pitiful attempt to soak it up. It did nothing. Then I went on with my day. Hoping it would clear itself up. Welp, it’s been a week. I’m stupid. And my car smells like a dump truck. Legit dump. Not poo, just spoiled milk. I’m going to go get it detailed. They are going to hate me.
I had to snatch the sh*t out of things today. First 7 minutes of burpees, now 10 minutes of snatches. Look at you go CrossFit. WOD 12.2 was a doozy. Constantly snatching for 10 minutes is pretty damn hard. I’m excited for this wod to be over specifically so I can stop hearing all the snatch sexual innuendos and jokes going around at the gym. They aren’t original anymore. I’ve seen them on aboooout 65 different CrossFit shirts at this point. And every dude thinks he’s so creative when he makes a joke about it. Way to go guys. Way.to.be.
You know what’s weird about coffee cake? There’s no coffee in it. That’s kind of dumb. I mean, I’m guessing it was named that because people drank coffee with it? I don’t know. I guess we might as well call it donut cake. That makes sense. Since you eat coffee with donuts. Right? I don’t know what I’m saying. Either way, my coffee cake has coffee in it. I don’t mess around. Nor lie. So if you’re into coffee cake that doesn’t taste slightly like coffee, you’re not gonna be into this. And I won’t really be into you anyways.
I smell like bacon. Damnit.
Coconut Coffee Cake
- Yield: 4-6 1x
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup almond flour/meal
- 1/3 cup coconut flour
- 1/3 cup Unsweetended Shredded Coconut
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/2 cup coconut milk
- 1/2 cup Chameleon Cold Brew Coffee
- 1/3 cup honey
- 4 eggs, whisked
- 2 teaspoon ground coffee
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
For the topping
- 1 cup sliced almonds
- 2 tablespoons coconut oil
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 1 tablespoon maple syrup
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Mix all dry ingredients: almond meal, coconut flour, shredded coconut, baking soda and baking powder, cinnamon, and salt.
- Then add your wet remaining ingredients to the dry ingredients. Mix together.
- Grease an 8×8 or 9×9 glass baking dish and pour into the dish.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes or until edges are browned and middle is completely cooked through.
- While your cake is cooking, pull out a large skillet and place over medium heat.
- Add your coconut oil then almonds. Mix to coat almonds.
- When the almonds begin to toast and have a bit of browning to them (be careful because they burn easily) add your honey, maple syrup, cinnamon, vanilla and salt and mix thoroughly.
- Cook for a couple minutes longer being sure not to burn the almonds, but remove from heat.
- Once cake is done cooking, top with almonds and slightly press down to help stick to the cake. Let cool then serve with some delicious Chameleon Cold Brew Coffee!
______________
You May Also Like:
Dark Chocolate Raspberry Chia Banana Bread
______________
Click Here To Get All My PaleOMG Recipes Into Your Meal Planner With Real Plans!
I may be compensated through my affiliate links in this post, but all opinions are my own. This compensation helps with expenses to keep this blog up and running!
If this cake is anything like your fudgy brownies… I’m going to be in heaven!
Haha hope you like it!!
I may have just had a baking disaster. My cake doesn’t look a whole lot like yours and seems to taste a bit funky too. 🙁
I think i’ll just have to eat the almonds off the top – they turned out just fine!
Oh poo, I wonder what happened Cathy!!
Hmm I’m not sure, but I think more coffee may be in order next time.
In an interesting update, I came downstairs this morning and a sticky fingered monster (AKA my Dad) had eaten half the almond topping right off the cake, so that was most certainly a major hit. Given my initial concern, I also seem to have had no trouble eating said disaster of a cake. Is looks as though I’ve only got half left and I don’t think anyone else is to blame but my good self. Almond topping totally gone – that’s Dad again!
Thanks Juli! You even make my disasters too tempting leave behind!
Lol that’s awesome Cathy!! I’m glad you both liked it! That’s usually what happens with me and my roommates too haha
WOW! You never cease to amaze me with these recipes! The bad thing about this one is it makes you want ice cream with it right out of the oven!!!!
I agree, but I ALWAYS want ice cream
I love you for many reasons (in a totally non-stalkerish or creepy way). I love that you said ‘snatch the sh*t of things today.’ Such a perfect description of 12.2 lol also that you ‘eat coffee with donuts’.
You are obsessed with sweet potatoes and nut butters and are therefore my idol. Can I be you when I grow up??
Lol absolutely and i’ll be you!!
Hi chica,
Questions 🙂 coconut milk – canned or the one in the carton? Do you require full fat?
Can’t wait to make this tonight since I have pretty much all of the ingredients! And promise I will REALLY read the recipe to the “T” – hah!
Canned. I use full fat but you can use whatever you’d like 🙂
OMG this is so good! I almost ate the entire pan when I made this the other night! But I read on here that because of the caffeine content, it made her ‘buzzy’. I did not take heed :/ I ended up awake the whole evening! :/ I think next time Im going to brew a pot of decaf coffee and use that instead of the brew :/ I know Im messing with perfection but if I am to hog the entire pan Im gonna have to 🙁 Please dont hate me 🙂
Lol no hate at all my dear!
I made this cake today for the first time and I LOVE it! I took it with me to dinner with friends, and even though they totally opposite Paleos (whatever that might be called), they all really liked it. I think I was most amazed that it tastes nothing like coffee even though you put a boatload in there, AND (bonus), I think it gives you a little caffeine buzz because I am usually dead-to-the-world by 9 pm, and it’s 10 and I am still going strong! Whoo! Thanks for making my paleo mouth happy!
Glad you and your friends liked it Stacy!!
I must say most of the paleo cake recipes I try are disappointing. But this one is GREAT! It’s light, the dough is surprisingly liquid but it works anyway. The topping is really sweet, almost too much, but everything goes really great together. Thanks a lot!
That’s awesome to hear Marion!!
Tried this coffee cake and it was AMAZING! Great job! My husband the nuts in the sauce just by themselves. He said they reminded him of those roasted nuts you get at the little stands. I’m looking forward to trying some of your other recipes!
Ok, I am seriously tempted to lick the entire top of (what’s left of) the cake to claim it as my own so that no one else will eat it.
Light, fluffy, nutty…a real winner. Thanks for sharing your great recipes. Everything of yours that I’ve ever made is a winner. Keep up the great work! And congrats on Regionals!
obscenely good. didn’t even last 24 hours in my house! probably ate 1/3 of the pan by myself… oops. even my non-paleo family loved it. win!