I’m declaring Mondays as dessert days. Because I can. And want to.
Wanna know something. I didn’t even come up with this recipe title. A guy named Kyle did. He saw one of the pictures I posted on my @paleomg instagram of this delicious recipe and named it. He’s a genius. And an awesome follower. Thanks Kyle for trying my recipes often and taking great pictures of them to share with the instagram world!
Ok I need to vent. I literally cannot remember the last time I went shopping…and didn’t cry. Every single freaking time, I cry. If that’s not some bullsh*t right there, I don’t know what is. It’s just ridiculous. I work my god damn ass off in the gym, I eat pretty god damn healthy, and for what? For more god damn cellulite to show? Ughhhhh. I swear, when I was skinny and weak and jello-y, I had a lot less cellulite. But now that muscle is actually growing, muscle that I never knew I even had, my cellulite is being pushed to the surface making it look like I haven’t worked out a day in my life. I’m pissed people. Like real pissed. I don’t think there is anything in this world that I hate more than cellulite. Oh wait, people who don’t cellulite. I hate those people. Sorry for not being sorry.
Ok, let’s take a deep breath. I’m sorry for being an emotional assh*le. And I’m sorry for saying god a lot of times. My mother will be disappointed. Especially with how I worded that last sentence. Either way, I still hate you people without cellulite. Plain and simple.
Speaking of people with no cellulite, I had a partner competition with my friend Krystle this weekend. She has no cellulite, and the shortest shorts in the world. If anyone in this world can pull off stupid short shorts, it’s her. I have really good looking friends in the first place, but she may take the cake. She has a six pack, big boobs, and a great butt. It’s just bullsh*t. Thankfully I like her so I don’t talk sh*t about how perfect she is. Other than over the internet.
Anywho, she did awesome! It was her first competition and I couldn’t have been more proud to call her my competition partner. She pushed hard, she gave it her all, and she smiled through the whole thing. It was awesome to see. And the best thing is she is all signed up for an individual competition next month which will be super cool to watch. She’s just great. Watch us go!
Krystle, you’re the best. Thanks for letting me be part of your first competition. Can’t wait to see how strong you get in the next year.
Coconut Klondike Bites
- Yield: 10-12 1x
Ingredients
- 1.5 cups unsweetened shredded coconut
- 1/2 cup coconut butter or homemade coconut butter
- 1/2 cup coconut oil
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
- 1 bag (10oz) of Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips or dark chocolate chips
Instructions
- Place shredded coconut, coconut cream concentrate, coconut oil, vanilla, and salt into a food processor and blend until you get a slightly chunky texture.
- Place silicone liners into your muffin tin. If you don’t have silicone liners, use regular paper muffin liners.
- Use a large spoon to scoop out about 2 tablespoons worth of coconut mixture and place into your muffin tins. Press down until flat.
- Once all your muffins liners are filled, melt your chocolate.
- Either place chocolate into a bowl and into the microwave to heat for 30 seconds, then stir, and repeat until chocolate is melted but not burnt. OR use a double boiler to melt down your chocolate. Microwave is easier for lazy people, like yours truly.
- Use a spoon once again to scoop out about 1 tablespoon of chocolate and pour onto your coconut cups until the coconut is completely covered. Repeat on all your coconut cups.
- Place in freezer for about 20 minutes or until chocolate is frozen.
- These will be very hard so you may need to let one sit for a couple minutes at room temperature before biting in. Or break your tooth. Whatever suits your fancy.
- Keep in fridge or freezer to help with chocolate melting.
- Eat and be merry.
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You May Also Like:
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I think you have a superpower: did you notice you are levitating as you lift that barbell? How is that possible? Girl, I’m impressed.
Trying this recipe today.
RE: Your cellulite *problem*. HA! You’re beautiful. Though I DON’T see any, if you’re that freaked out about it, I would suggest you do some research on gelatin.
Just Google Gelatin & Cellulite.
I’m trying this recipe soon – Will let you know how it turned out. 🙂
You are awesome. And super gorg, lady!! You kidding me- you are such a stunner. I found you via a repost of your insanely delicious looking coconut bites (which I could easily eat 1 million of don’t you judge me) and have been sitting here DEVOURING your hilarity.
Love it!
The chocolate sank into the coconut. Was I supposed to freeze the coconut first, before adding the chocolate?
i didn’t. but you could to make sure the didn’t meld together
these are AMAZING!!! I was seriously shocked that they didn’t need any added sugar!!!! I followed two reader suggestions and added the almond extract to the coconut mixture and the coconut milk to the chocolate. it did make the chocolate a nice texture and not get rock hard from freezing. Even my friend who has so far “hated” all the other treats I have given her went crazy for them. Thanks for posting!!!
I made these tonight and they are so yummy! thanks you for the recipe. this will definitely be the go-to candy snack from now on!
I considered my cellulite as very embarrassing, and wanted to get rid of these dimple marks on the surface of my skin at any cost. By adapting the right forms of cellulite exercises and maintaining a diet that’s rich in fiber, I was able to say goodbye to these “cottage cheese” effects on my skin safely.
You might want to check out the T-Tapp website and Teresa’s Alfalfa product and her skin brushing kit…works great! You can listen to her information regarding cellulite on one of her cd’s. She will also be happy to talk to you about her system……Dr. Oz,Dr. Perricone and several other doctors recommend her system!
Thanks for your great recipes…I use them at my daycare for a little girl who has severe allergies and deficiencies!
So i tried to make the klondike bites but mine came out with the choclate hard as rock (even after sitting on my counter for 2 hrs) and the coconut was really greasy…I know I’m not a super chef but the was really bad; even for me… help?
i’m not sure what went wrong. they do get very hard, but the soften up over time. it shouldn’t exactly be greasy
I made these this afternoon and they are delicious! A guilty pleasure for sure…..