I’m declaring Mondays as dessert days. Because I can. And want to.
Wanna know something. I didn’t even come up with this recipe title. A guy named Kyle did. He saw one of the pictures I posted on my @paleomg instagram of this delicious recipe and named it. He’s a genius. And an awesome follower. Thanks Kyle for trying my recipes often and taking great pictures of them to share with the instagram world!
Ok I need to vent. I literally cannot remember the last time I went shopping…and didn’t cry. Every single freaking time, I cry. If that’s not some bullsh*t right there, I don’t know what is. It’s just ridiculous. I work my god damn ass off in the gym, I eat pretty god damn healthy, and for what? For more god damn cellulite to show? Ughhhhh. I swear, when I was skinny and weak and jello-y, I had a lot less cellulite. But now that muscle is actually growing, muscle that I never knew I even had, my cellulite is being pushed to the surface making it look like I haven’t worked out a day in my life. I’m pissed people. Like real pissed. I don’t think there is anything in this world that I hate more than cellulite. Oh wait, people who don’t cellulite. I hate those people. Sorry for not being sorry.
Ok, let’s take a deep breath. I’m sorry for being an emotional assh*le. And I’m sorry for saying god a lot of times. My mother will be disappointed. Especially with how I worded that last sentence. Either way, I still hate you people without cellulite. Plain and simple.
Speaking of people with no cellulite, I had a partner competition with my friend Krystle this weekend. She has no cellulite, and the shortest shorts in the world. If anyone in this world can pull off stupid short shorts, it’s her. I have really good looking friends in the first place, but she may take the cake. She has a six pack, big boobs, and a great butt. It’s just bullsh*t. Thankfully I like her so I don’t talk sh*t about how perfect she is. Other than over the internet.
Anywho, she did awesome! It was her first competition and I couldn’t have been more proud to call her my competition partner. She pushed hard, she gave it her all, and she smiled through the whole thing. It was awesome to see. And the best thing is she is all signed up for an individual competition next month which will be super cool to watch. She’s just great. Watch us go!
Krystle, you’re the best. Thanks for letting me be part of your first competition. Can’t wait to see how strong you get in the next year.
Coconut Klondike Bites
- Yield: 10-12 1x
Ingredients
- 1.5 cups unsweetened shredded coconut
- 1/2 cup coconut butter or homemade coconut butter
- 1/2 cup coconut oil
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
- 1 bag (10oz) of Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips or dark chocolate chips
Instructions
- Place shredded coconut, coconut cream concentrate, coconut oil, vanilla, and salt into a food processor and blend until you get a slightly chunky texture.
- Place silicone liners into your muffin tin. If you don’t have silicone liners, use regular paper muffin liners.
- Use a large spoon to scoop out about 2 tablespoons worth of coconut mixture and place into your muffin tins. Press down until flat.
- Once all your muffins liners are filled, melt your chocolate.
- Either place chocolate into a bowl and into the microwave to heat for 30 seconds, then stir, and repeat until chocolate is melted but not burnt. OR use a double boiler to melt down your chocolate. Microwave is easier for lazy people, like yours truly.
- Use a spoon once again to scoop out about 1 tablespoon of chocolate and pour onto your coconut cups until the coconut is completely covered. Repeat on all your coconut cups.
- Place in freezer for about 20 minutes or until chocolate is frozen.
- These will be very hard so you may need to let one sit for a couple minutes at room temperature before biting in. Or break your tooth. Whatever suits your fancy.
- Keep in fridge or freezer to help with chocolate melting.
- Eat and be merry.
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I have the exact same problem! It’s frustrating for sure, there’s no getting around that. But I mean, OMG HOLY TRICEPS! Skinny ass legs won’t do shit for you in a bar fight but those arms sure wil. AmIright?! (Sorry for the cursing, Juli’s mom…)
First off, you’re hot, and we all know it. You know it, too, you’re just funny about it, and that’s part of why we all like you.
Second, these look extremely tasty. It’s funny how just yesterday I looked at the ginormous bag of coconut flakes in my pantry and thought, “I must try the homemade coconut butter soon,” and then today – whamo. The perfect reason shows up.
Anyhoo, thanks, you’re hot, and I’m excited. About the coconut. Not implying anything. But I could. It’d work. But I’m talking about the coconut. Kinda.
You are so freaking awesome!!! I never liked cooking/baking or prettty much being in the kitchen but I have seriously become addicted after finding your website. It’s been 1 week and I have already made 6 of your recipes. You rock and don’t be down on yourself because you look amazing. Keep doing what you do.
Have to laugh that you declare Monday dessert Mondays and complain about cellulite. From my own personal experience I’ve always been strong and lean and couldn’t get rid of cellulite until…. I gave up all paleo treats, sugar/dark chocolate. I know. It’s sad, but now that my legs look better than they have in years I won’t go back.
Juli, that face-to-face clean-n-jerk picture is the coolest! Don’t overlook the fact that you are inspirational to many women for many reasons, as witnessed by the comments and the cheers in the stands at regionals this year. Keep up the good work, girl!
what a yummy looking treat, must try, oh yeah. Now as to Cellulite is a matter of keeping the lymph moving and unsticking lymph. I highly recommend cupping with Bellabaci cups, they are easy to use and work great. Here’s link: http://www.bellabaci.com?a_aid=4edee82d186a5
You know what I hate? The fact that I’m moving in a few days and have already packed up my kitchen so I have to wait (gasp!) to make these. However, you should be excited that it will be one of the VERY FIRST THINGS I make in my new place.
Oh, and I hate cellulite too.
Dessert monday = incredible idea. Second, you are SUPER HOT!! don’t ever think differently! with that said, I definitely hate cellulite, too, and I have it on my legs as well. So noticable at the beach and in a bikini… oh well. Things could be worse, no?
I’m guessing the little bite marks in the last photo are when you learned how hard the frozen treats were. These look amazing, great photo, just to confirm though, there is no sweetener of any form in this recipe besides the chocolate?
Correcto! Unless you want to add it!
i am seriously salivating right now…… and now…. headed to the store… MUST HAVE TODAY!!!!!