I’m declaring Mondays as dessert days. Because I can. And want to.
Wanna know something. I didn’t even come up with this recipe title. A guy named Kyle did. He saw one of the pictures I posted on my @paleomg instagram of this delicious recipe and named it. He’s a genius. And an awesome follower. Thanks Kyle for trying my recipes often and taking great pictures of them to share with the instagram world!
Ok I need to vent. I literally cannot remember the last time I went shopping…and didn’t cry. Every single freaking time, I cry. If that’s not some bullsh*t right there, I don’t know what is. It’s just ridiculous. I work my god damn ass off in the gym, I eat pretty god damn healthy, and for what? For more god damn cellulite to show? Ughhhhh. I swear, when I was skinny and weak and jello-y, I had a lot less cellulite. But now that muscle is actually growing, muscle that I never knew I even had, my cellulite is being pushed to the surface making it look like I haven’t worked out a day in my life. I’m pissed people. Like real pissed. I don’t think there is anything in this world that I hate more than cellulite. Oh wait, people who don’t cellulite. I hate those people. Sorry for not being sorry.
Ok, let’s take a deep breath. I’m sorry for being an emotional assh*le. And I’m sorry for saying god a lot of times. My mother will be disappointed. Especially with how I worded that last sentence. Either way, I still hate you people without cellulite. Plain and simple.
Speaking of people with no cellulite, I had a partner competition with my friend Krystle this weekend. She has no cellulite, and the shortest shorts in the world. If anyone in this world can pull off stupid short shorts, it’s her. I have really good looking friends in the first place, but she may take the cake. She has a six pack, big boobs, and a great butt. It’s just bullsh*t. Thankfully I like her so I don’t talk sh*t about how perfect she is. Other than over the internet.
Anywho, she did awesome! It was her first competition and I couldn’t have been more proud to call her my competition partner. She pushed hard, she gave it her all, and she smiled through the whole thing. It was awesome to see. And the best thing is she is all signed up for an individual competition next month which will be super cool to watch. She’s just great. Watch us go!
Krystle, you’re the best. Thanks for letting me be part of your first competition. Can’t wait to see how strong you get in the next year.
Coconut Klondike Bites
- Yield: 10-12 1x
Ingredients
- 1.5 cups unsweetened shredded coconut
- 1/2 cup coconut butter or homemade coconut butter
- 1/2 cup coconut oil
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
- 1 bag (10oz) of Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips or dark chocolate chips
Instructions
- Place shredded coconut, coconut cream concentrate, coconut oil, vanilla, and salt into a food processor and blend until you get a slightly chunky texture.
- Place silicone liners into your muffin tin. If you don’t have silicone liners, use regular paper muffin liners.
- Use a large spoon to scoop out about 2 tablespoons worth of coconut mixture and place into your muffin tins. Press down until flat.
- Once all your muffins liners are filled, melt your chocolate.
- Either place chocolate into a bowl and into the microwave to heat for 30 seconds, then stir, and repeat until chocolate is melted but not burnt. OR use a double boiler to melt down your chocolate. Microwave is easier for lazy people, like yours truly.
- Use a spoon once again to scoop out about 1 tablespoon of chocolate and pour onto your coconut cups until the coconut is completely covered. Repeat on all your coconut cups.
- Place in freezer for about 20 minutes or until chocolate is frozen.
- These will be very hard so you may need to let one sit for a couple minutes at room temperature before biting in. Or break your tooth. Whatever suits your fancy.
- Keep in fridge or freezer to help with chocolate melting.
- Eat and be merry.
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You are strong and sexy! Cellulite is the bane of many a woman’s existence including mine but no amount of hitting it hard in the box will address what causes cellulite. What I found has actually helped with mine … and has the added benefit of kicking wrinkles in the butt too, is having bone broth regularly and adding grass fed beef gelatin to my cocoa at night. These are rich sources of the building blocks your body needs to build collagen and support your cell walls ie. prevent the dips and dimples. Another benefit is strong and well lubricated joints which is important given how hard you work yours.
That is probably by far the weirdest thing I have ever heard Candice. Where in the hell do you find beef gelatin? I’m gagging as I think of it.
LOL! You won’t even taste it! I mix about 1-2 teaspoons of it into my Cocoa at night. Cocoa, cinnamon, vanilla stevia, heavy cream – and gelatin. I think it makes the Cocoa have a more robust mouth feel. Delish.
http://www.amazon.com/Bernard-Jensen-Products-Gelatin-powder/dp/B00014EO2A
I am so trying that, thank you!
Gelatin infused hot cocoa seems awesome! Much more appetizing than warmed bone broth. Bleck. Can’t seem to get into that except for cooking, so now I’m happy 🙂 Thank you!
You are beautiful and inspiring! If I had ‘your’ cellulite I would be dancing naked in the street right now!!!!
We are all hard on ourselves….just part of the process of getting better!
Dry brushing girl! It’s the only way to go with cellulite. Seriously. And you know what? Who gives a shit? You’re gorgeous and strong.
I’ve heard about dry brushing. How do you do this? Are there certain brushes and motions, etc?
I’ve heard brush in the direction of your heart
I feel ya on the cellulite. I just don’t really shop anymore lol all my money goes towards crossfit and my supplement addiction lol. I need to get some jeans soon though..bleh. I just keep telling myself I’m 10 gazillion times happier now, with cellulite…than when I was slimmer, not eating enough..weak, and insecure. Totally would rather have cellulite 🙂
I feel your pain. I have this gorgeous friend who is a dancer. You know like professionally…and I HATE going shopping with her because she wears all these cute outfits. I guess I am glad she is my workout partner and my Paleo partner. I am soooo grateful for all your recipes. My fav so far is the double chocolate energy balls. I take them with me to work for breakfast. Quick and easy. Keep up the good work and we will both feel good about ourselves. One day you will be wondering what the hell were all those tears for?? Everything will be worth it. Thank goodness for the inspirations I can put up on Pinterest.
First, since I just saw you last week at the clinic I can say you have nothing to worry about love. Seriously. Zero. Zlitch. You’re legs look amazing. But I feel ya, like everyone has said we are our worst critic, but why can’t guys have cellulite? Of course we get it and to be honest, that’s why you will rarely find me in shorts, unless I’m at my casa. Glad some ladies provided some resources as I’m going to check them out too.
Juli – I cry when I go shopping too.
It’s so frustrating not to be able to find cute clothes that fit and feeling so down about yourself. I tried on a pair of mint colored skinny jeans at j.crew the other week – big mistake. My thighs seriously looked like sausages and the only person allowed to see me in the dressing room was my husband. His words were, “yeah, they’re pretty tight.” Fail.
I seriously thought about taking up sewing so I could start making my own clothes because I got so fed up with shopping.
I got my body fat measured 3 weeks ago and I had to ask myself whether I wanted to continue to get bigger and stronger, or if I wanted to be smaller and weaker. What’s the point of CrossFit if I wanted to be small and weak? I’m learning to embrace my thighs, but it’s pretty damn hard some days.
Anyways, I know 100% how you feel and I’m glad there’s someone else in the world that has the same experiences that I do, albeit you are a much better athlete than I! Keep up the awesome work!
This recipe confirms that we are indeed soul mates. Thanks for all you do, Juli!
Juli and Julia
Can’t wait to try this recipe. My kids would love it. I am loving your friends tattoos. Would love to see a close-up
Similar recipe I created for peanut butter cups!!!!
You put 1 TBS of peanut butter in a silicon cup then mix about 1 TBS of coconut oil and 1/2-3/4 Cup chocolate chips and heat up. Pour the chocolate mix over the peanut butter and freeze! These are just like reeses! I know peanut butter isn’t paleo, but whatever these taste AMAZING!