So much stuff is going on, I haven’t had any time to cook. I’ve been eating beef, brussels sprouts, and hot sauce for almost every meal. And drinking wine far more often than needed. Like right now. It’s been fantastic.

Every Monday night is now girls night in my world because The Bachelor is on and it’s fascinating. About 5 or 6 of us host a girls night once a week, make food for everyone, and drink wine together. Then we make fun of women who cry on television. It’s awesome. I mean, I know I’m straight up crazy and confess it to the world wide web daily, but at least I’m not crying over a male. At least on tv. I cry all the time over guys. Ok, not all the time. But more than needed. Having a vagina is rough sometimes. It makes us emotional creatures. Some feminist is going to hate me for saying that. Don’t care. Stickin’ to it. #b*tchesbecraycray. I’m so annoying.

But I can’t talk about crying anymore. I’m too excited about my upcoming trips. Let’s talk about them.

  1. Going to Boston this week for some cooking classes and cooking videos with Again Faster.
  2. Going to Austin for the Paleo FX. I’m doing a cooking demo! Meaning I will be my awkward self, sweating in front of many people. I need to look for baggy shirts for that trip.
  3. And going to the Dominican Republic. With 2 other ladies. OMGfun. These girls are fun both drunk and sober, so it should be a reaaaaaal good time. I plan on not even leaving the resort. Drink in one hand, book in the other. What should I read?!

That’s all I have planned so far. I know one thing, I need to be more tan for all these places. I want to go other places too, though. I’m digging this travel thing. Too bad I don’t have paid time off. Or benefits. Or any of that stuff. Meh, whatevs. Live it while you’re young, right? #thingspeoplesaywhentheyarepoorlikeme.

I’ll stop hashtagging things.

So if you did not see my post on Monday, you have to. It was absolutely delicious. It was the first and only recipe I’ve made with a Sous Vide because she so fancy, and I loved it. I’ve never cooked meat that perfectly. But don’t worry, I won’t be making many recipes with that kitchen appliance since it’s not something most people have in their house! And I’m a simple cooker. I like meat and veggies in a pan. And chocolate mousse. I really like chocolate mousse.

Any who, I created that recipe Sous Vide Paleo Recipe Showdown. Along with 11 other paleo bloggers. They spelled my blog name wrong on the showdown page, but I’ll forgive them. Since most people spell Juli wrong as well, I’m desensitized to that frustration at this point. So, while judges are trying out our recipes and picking their favorite, YOU can pick your favorite as well. YES YOU CAN. Go vote. Let your vote be heard in the paleo, sous vide, tx bar organics community. Each person that votes will be entered into a contest to win a SousVide or TX Bar GC for $200! OMGcool. Two winners will be chosen – one for each! Click here to vote now {CLOSED}! Voting will end FEBRUARY 4th.

I want to die in this cake. Literally face plant into this cake, eat a bite, then suffocate. Because I would die happy. I wish I was kidding.

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Crockpot Fig Apple Butter

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4.9 from 9 reviews


  • 20 dried black figs, stems removed, cut in half
  • 6 apples, peeled, cored and diced
  • 1 cup apple cider
  • 1/2 cup honey (or other sweetener such as maple syrup)
  • 3 tablespoons cinnamon (sounds like a lot, because it is, and it’s awesome)
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • pinch of salt


  1. Place all ingredients in the slow cooker. Mix well.
  2. Put the slow cooker at low and cook for 6-8 hours until apples are completely soft and almost mushy.
  3. Place ingredients (I did mine in two batches) in food processor or blender and puree until smooth.
  4. Eat with anything. A spoon, on some banana bread, on a banana. Possibilities are endless.
  5. Store in refrigerator in a jar. Because jars are cute.


Made 3 (8 ounce) jars for me.

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 PaleOMG Crockpot Fig Apple Butter



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  1. Kat says:

    From a Midwest girl that is pretty picky about her apple butter, this is amazing!!!! I just used my blender to blend it. Perfect texture! Nice and thick. Although I just scooped out all the fruit because after almost 8 hours there was quite a bit of water left and I didn’t want it runny. Thanks!

  2. Jensie says:

    I ran out of honey, so I used coconut sugars to replace half and let it cook more like 12+ hours. Other than that, I followed the recipe exactly, and now I keep making excuses to go to the fridge with a spoon. I was originally looking for something to replicate my grandmother’s apple butter, but this takes the cake for sure. Sorry, Grandma!

  3. Courtnie says:

    Thank you for the recipe! The cinnamon was took much so when I made a second batch I didn’t ad any and mixed it up with the first batch. The two batches made about 7 and a half 8oz servings for me. Gifting them for christmas 🙂

  4. Kelly says:

    This looks really good!! I cannot wait to try it! 😉 one question: have you ever tried canning this? Is it possible to can this at all?

    1. juli says:

      i haven’t

  5. Sam says:

    I. Am. In LOVE with this stuff!!!!!!!! So is my boyfriend, our friends, our family, & everyone else I made it for!!! You’re a goddess Juli thanks for posting a wide variety of delicious meals!!

  6. Christopher says:

    Hi! I just came across this recipe and it looks fan-freaking-tastic! Just one question: Is there a type of apple you would recommend over another (gala, Granny Smith, red delicious, etc)? Thank you so much 🙂

    1. juli says:

      Honestly, any kind will do with this recipe. I love Granny Smith so I may be biased but whatever is on sale. I think I used honey crisp for this

  7. Carolyn says:

    I just made this spread today & it turned out amazing! I cut the honey down to 1 TB & added 1/4 tea of alspice, 1 tea cinnamon & fresh grated nutmeg. I also added dates. Thanks for a great recipe 🙂

  8. Chavonne says:

    This recipe looks amazing and I am going to try it tonight. Can you tell me, when you say apple cider are you referring to apple cider vinegar, sparkling apple cider or apple juice?

  9. Geneviève Lemire says:

    Can we put in in the freezer?

    1. juli says:

      i’m sure, i haven’t tried though

  10. Courtney Burrum says:

    I only have apple cider vinegar on hand? Will this work? Should I add more sugar to balance it?

    1. juli says:

      i would just buy some apple cider and stick with the recipe!