I know, I know. This isn’t actually a “recipe” per se, but it is exactly what I am eating on a regular basis right now while I finish up my latest cookbook. It’s not that I’m lazy…I mean I have been known to not wash my hair for an unknown number of days because the thought of standing in front of the mirror for 15 minutes to finally dry my hair just so I can stand longer and style it (breathe) is daunting. But when it comes to recipes, I try not to be that lazy. Because you’re here, reading this blog, maybe making a recipe, so I don’t want it to suck and you hate me and therefore blast me on Amazon. That’s the worst. Anywho, while I make as many delicious recipes as possible for my book, you guys will be getting some stupid simple recipes while I make sure the book is perfect! Can you hold out two weeks for me? Kthanksyourethebest.
I just ran out of coconut oil potato chips and I am SO MAD about it. Don’t fill the bag halfway, you bastard distributors.
Yet another thing I am obsessed with eating, other than coconut oil potato chips, is dried figs. I had to ban them years ago because I had become addicted. And if you didn’t know this already, dried fruit is packed with A LOT of sugar. Don’t go tricking yourself thinking that you can eat as many dried mango plates (they are seriously the size of plates) as you want since you cut the candy bars out. You may have gotten rid of chemical-killing substances from the candy bars, but sugar is bad. Have you read the 21 Day Sugar Detox? It’s real bad. Anywho, I had to let them go for about 2 years. But I’m ready to flirt with them again. Just a tad. I just can’t go crazy addict style on them.
Speaking of crazy, the other day I had a girl comment “Ugh. Foul.” on one of my food pics the other day. It was surf and turf picture. Quite appetizing, actually. So I decided to do some instagram creep-tastic stalking to better understand why my food would be considered foul. Boom, vegan. First off, I do not give a f*ck if you are vegan. Or vegetarian or pescatarian or flower-only eater or dessert-only eater or meat-only eater (I don’t know the term for those lifestyles). I just don’t care. What you put in your mouth doesn’t change my day to day life in the slightest. And never do I tell a vegan to slather some meat on their meal. Because I do not care. I share my pictures in hopes of inspiring others on their next meal. During my creep-tastic stalk sesh, I found lots of bra and underwear pictures of hers. I did not comment on her bra and underwear pictures saying “Ugh. Foul” because her naked body doesn’t change my life. You know what does change my life? Dried figs. I effing love those things.
Cucumber Smoked Salmon Roll Ups
- Yield: 1 1x
Ingredients
- 1 cucumber, thinly sliced
- 1–2 tablespoons homemade mayo (or use Primal Kitchen)
- 2–4 ounces smoked salmon
Instructions
- Thinly slice a cucumber, lengthwise, using a mandolin.
- Spread on some mayo.
- Layer on some smoked salmon.
- Curl up cucumber and press a toothpick through it.
- Eat.
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You May Also Like:
Smoked Salmon & Dill Deviled Eggs
Bacon Wrapped Smoked Salmon Stuffed Sweet Peppers
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Now, I can use the rest of the salmon in the package right away after I make salmon and eggs!
I freak’in love you and your ideas, both in food and fashion. You nailed it with two of my loves, cucumber and smoked salmon. Trying a Paleo lifestyle out to reap some bennies and see if it’s what I need to enhance my recent return to the gym for overall health and wellness… Your style is just seriously cool and in line with mine. Would love to be your photographer-of-everything, but I see you have someone who does a pretty fantastic job already. 🙂
I wake up at 5:30am most mornings and this will be a perfect quick breakfast option, thank you!!!!!!
Made these for lunch on Friday…tastes great with spicy mustard too…thanks for such a simple, healthy and tasty treat!
Unrelated- what places do you recommend eating at in Denver? My husband and I are coming out in April. I want to go to Snooze for sure! Thanks for all the great recipes, keep kicking ass!
P.S. We dropped in at CF Broadway last January when we came out…does it always smell funny in there?
I made these yesterday and they were amazing! I threw some chopped dill on there too. Delish! I was also thinking of adding spring onion and capers for another version.
I am planning on making the Blondies this weekend for me and my lonely heart children for Valentines day!
OMG you are hilarious! Ijust started the paleo life style, im just feeling my way thru it and learning to say no things that are no good for me. And I just started reading some blogs here and there but LOL I haven’t run into one where the writer was so honest LOL or just real I guess. Its very refreshing eff all the haters LOL I kind of feel that way when I bring in left over fish or salmon and heat in the microwave everyone frowns LOL who gives a sh** I don’t.:) thanks for being real. I feel like I fit in here :).
Welcome! 🙂