July 4th Charcuterie Board
Can you believe it’s already 4th of July this weekend? WTF. 2020 is such a b*tch and she’s taking no prisoners. This month we were supposed to be heading to Spain, but now I’m just lathering on self tanner instead, while I sit in the shade in our backyard. Same experience, right? We really have no plans for the 4th of July this year since most fireworks shows are cancelled, we don’t have a lake to go to, and pools are hard to come by in Denver. All the people on social media who have lakes for backyards or their own private pools…well I hate them right now. Jealousy is real and she’s an ugly SOB. So instead of doing some frolicking in water, I’ll be making this charcuterie board once again and eating my feelings. That’s how most holidays are supposed to be anyways, right? Fact.
At this point, I have about zero set plans for 4th of July. The husband has golf plans, per usual, and I have some work plans. I’m currently working on my next fitness program, recording the videos by myself at home, so getting the lighting and audio JUST right is taking longer than I thought. Learning new skills is hard and hella frustrating, but luckily all you need to do to get through it is cry your eyes out, take a hot bath, then get back to work. I’ve followed this pattern for YEARS now and it works like a charm. If you’re not crying your face off on a weekly basis, well you’re just not living! I’ve found that it’s the best way to get rid of your excess emotions so you can clear your head then move on to the next task at hand. I highly recommend it.
I also recommend that after you finish your deep, guttural cry; go watch Selling Sunset on Netflix. I don’t know why it took me so long to watch, but I’m so glad I finally turned it on! It’s a real addiction. It’s a reality show all about these crazy hot realtors in LA selling stupid expensive homes. Like $1500/square foot homes. Who are all these thousands of people in LA who can afford $5M homes? It’s bananas. And how does everyone’s hair and makeup always look so good? Does anyone in LA ever have a zit? And how does everyone walk around in heels all day? At this point, after 4 months of quarantine, I don’t even like wearing sneakers anymore. I could never cut it in LA. Maybe I could be part of the lighting crew on sets since I’ve almost mastered that at home. And when I say mastered, I mean I bought a bunch of lights and I’m pretending I know what I’m doing. Fake it til you make it! Speaking of, I need to get ready then head into the gym to record once again! Wish me luck!
July 4th Charcuterie Board
- Prep Time: 30 minutes
- Total Time: 30 minutes
- Yield: 8-10 1x
For the red
- pomegranate seeds
- watermelon, cubed
- cherry tomatoes
- red bell pepper slices
- salami (or any other cured meats)
- almond milk cream cheese topped with salsa
For the white
- gluten free yogurt covered pretzels
- fresh coconut, cubed
- salted macadamia nuts
- different types of cheese, cubed
- provolone cheese slices, cut into stars
- almond flour crackers
For the blue
- When building your charcuterie board, start with a LARGE cutting board or serving platter. Start with red on the left side. I like to bundle on the sweet ingredients together then move to the savory. That means I started with all the fruit, then moved into vegetables, then to the cured meats.
- Next is the white section – same thing with bundling the sweet items together, like the yogurt pretzels, popcorn, and coconut. Then I moved to the savory options like macadamia nuts, cheeses, and crackers.
- And last but not least, the blue section. I kept the blueberry goat cheese near the other cheeses, and paired the blue tortilla chips next to the crackers. Then I added all the fresh fruit around it and placed the yogurt with blueberry preserves near the fruit and the yogurt covered pretzels for the perfect dipping range.
- Then all you have to do is use a cookie cutter to cut out stars in the provolone cheese slices and add those on top throughout. I also topped it with fresh flowers and some 4th of July decorations to bring it all together, but that’s totally optional! I also served it with a super clean drink on the side – coconut water with fresh berries!
More July 4th Recipe Ideas:
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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.
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