I’m mad. Like, really f*cking mad. Ok, that’s a lie, I don’t really get mad, I just get sad. So, I’m really f*cking sad. My face was finally getting better, finally looking like something was changing and my face was starting to play nice, but NO. No, no,no. It ain’t playin’ nice no mo’. My face has freaked out. Like OMG Ihateyousomuchjuli. Iwantyoutostaysingleforever. Andidefinitelydontwantanyonetofindyouattractive. Ever.
You, my face, are a straight up b*tch.
Ugh, I’m going to get so many emails about my dirty mouth now. I’ll save you the time…please don’t send them.
Anywho, I’m having one of those days of feeling absolutely hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I clean up my diet and it gets a little bit better, then it goes back to normal. I change up my face cleansing routine and it gets a little better, then goes back to normal. I get off birth control, I stay on birth control. I take fish oil, I don’t take fish oil. I eat more fat, I eat less fat. I don’t eat dark chocolate, I do eat dark chocolate. I get facials, I don’t get facials. You get what I’m throwin’ out? I try everything, but in the end my face has full control, and I am left staring in the mirror with tears in my eyes, choking back the egg of frustration that sits in my throat.
Just today, I started taking the probiotic saccharomyce boulardii which was recommended by Liz of Cave Girl Eats. I also am getting cod liver oil soon to start trying that as well. And making sure all sugar and nuts are cut from my diet. It’s just so annoying that my mind has to be filled with thoughts of how ugly I am or how I wish I could improve my skin. That’s dumb. It should be filled with cookbook thoughts, and Christmas gift thoughts, and food thoughts. But no, the face has won.
So here’s my question out of utter frustration and anguish…do I try acutane? Do I face the fact that I may be incredibly depressed, moody, and upset for months because of the drug? Do I face the fact that I may have to take the drug even though my face and other body parts will literally dry up and peel off? Do I face the fact that it may not even work? I don’t know what to do, but I’m obviously upset enough to blab all about it and want some of your advice. So, advise me.
On a more positive note, you NEED to try these muffins. They are DELICIOUS.
Morning Glory Muffins (nut free option)
- Yield: 9 1x
Ingredients
- 1 apple, peeled and cored, shredded
- 1 large carrot, peeled
- 1/2 cup sunflower seed butter
- 1 cup pepitas
- 3 eggs, whisked
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/4 cup raisins
- 1/4 cup pecans, roughly chopped (optional for nut free version)
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Now add your pepitas to a small saucepan over medium heat with a tablespoon of fat. I used coconut oil.
- Cook for 3-5 minutes, moving around lots so they don’t burn and so they cook on all sides.
- While your pepitas are roasting, add your apple and carrot to your food processor with the shredding attachment. If you don’t have a food processor, use a grater to shred your apple and carrot.
- Add your apple and carrot to a bowl along with your sunflower seed butter and rinse out your food processor bowl.
- Then add your roasted pepitas to the food processor and puree until you get a flour/meal.
- Then add your pepita flour, eggs, coconut oil, honey, raisins, pecans, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda. Mix well.
- Pour your batter into 9 FULL muffin liners in your muffin tin. I lined my muffins tin with silicone muffin liners but paper would do just fine.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes until cooked through.
- Let cool slightly, but eat warm, because they are the best that way.
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More Nut Free Muffins:
Apple Cinnamon Muffins (nut free)
Chocolate Chip Protein Muffins (nut free)
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I know you’re going to be like “I ALREADY TRIED THAT SHI*T BEFORE” but I’m going to offer it up anyways. Have you tried Proactive? I’ve been on it for a year and I’m slightly obsessed with it. Except they totally suck at delivering the product to your door. People will steal that sh*t. So I’d recommend going to the mall to pick it up.
Hi, I was on acutane as a teenager and it worked amazing, and kept my skin clear from there on out for the most part. I get the hormonal breakouts on my jaw line now when I am getting my period and it pisses me off royally. I would say if you are that unhappy about it, definitely go see the dermatologist and talk to them about it. No I don’t agree with going on drugs for anything, but when it comes to overall health and stress levels because of something like this, it might be worth the short term pitfalls of the drug for longer term reduced stress over something that can potentially be changed. Good luck, I love your recipes 🙂
As far as I’m concerned I think you should be the only one who decides if you want to do Accutane. But that’s not a today, right now thing. When I was thinking less than kind things about myself someone told me to look in the mirror and find 3 things I loved about my appearance and to say them out loud to myself while I looked at my reflection. Do that every day. Seriously. It makes you realize how much you do like. And eventually I bet you’ll have something nice to say about your skin too.
Have you gotten a full hormone panel blood test? Have them test every hormone, and I would recommend going 3 times during one menstration cycle: the beginning, the middle, and the end because the hormones change throughout the cycle and you will be able to see if they are doing what they are supposed to be doing at each given phase. It is a little pricey to do this, but will give you something to work with if you find out a hormone comes back low or high at a certain phase.
Have you tried the Unblemish Regimen from Rodan and Fields? It’s a little pricey, but I’ve been on it for a week and can already tell a difference. I was diagnosed with cystic acne and it can’t get any worse than that. I totally understand where you’re coming from, trying everything in the book, but you should definitely try the Unblemish.
Can’t wait to try these muffins!
hi juli! i know just how you feel – ive been eating paleo for almost 2 yrs, gluten free for 4 yrs and autoimmune paleo for about 5 or 6 months… and still have acne. it is SO ANNOYING to hear all these people say that they switched to paleo eating and all of a sudden had miraculous skin. anyway, i have struggled w/ acne for about 10 yrs (i’m 26 now), and had a lot of success with using laser treatment and using topical epiduo gel and duac cream. when i was doing those things plus eating strict paleo my skin was clear… BUT it just flared again because i stopped using the topical meds since i’m trying to get pregnant and they say those may be bad for pregnancy. you may want to try to see if you have any underlying hormonal issues… i have the trifecta – PCOS, adrenal fatigue and an issue w/ my thyroid (high rT3). i also have a lot of weird allergy/immune type issues so i’m trying to work on my gut healing right now, which hopefully may heal the acne? anyway, just wanted to let you know I FEEL YOUR PAIN! oh and btw, oil cleansing is NOT working for me either. i just ordered the blemish line from primal life organics – we’ll see how that goes 🙂 stay strong!
Juli – I’m sorry! I’ve had two friends who have done accutane. I will say both their skin improved like maybe they have a breakout once in a while, but it makes your skin super, duper dry, like peeling like you said. When they took it, not sure how it is now, you have to be on birth control, do blood tests monthly to make sure you aren’t preggo. There are a lot of side effects, so there are the con’s alongside of the pros. I have a friend who operates Naturals Cove, http://www.naturalscove.com/, she is here in CO and can offer great skin care advice if needed. Let me know.
DO NOT DO ACCUTANE. NO NO NO. You are putting a bandaid on a problem, not truly healing anything. Acne problems stem from your gut, so you gotsta heal your gut. Try GAPS. Keep doing oil cleansing (for me, my acne has gone away now that I have gone gluten-free). And stop saying you aren’t beautiful (YOU ARE) and that no man will want you. They will (they already do, obvs), but you don’t need a man to prove your worth. Now quit your bitching and think about laying in piles of money when your cookbook comes out in April 🙂
Ive never had experience with it, a friend of mine took it for years, didnt do much.
This sounds cheesy, but have your tried Proactive? I used it about every other day, so my skin doesnt dry out. That “refining mask” its pretty much the best thing on earth, but you have to wear it to bed.
Ive discovered after going palep, that a sure fire way to get my chin to break out is eat candy/sugar…esp Chocolate. Even dark chocolate. Prob due to the fact that i cannot just have one piece. the shit is like crack!
Good Luck though! I would avoid medications and stress :).
First, I love your blog and recipes! I’ve never commented before, but I can empathize with this post so much that I wanted to throw in my two cents.
I understand the concerns about Accutane but it is the ONLY thing that worked for me. I have been on it three times between the ages to 18-29. I had zero side-effects other than chapped lips and less oily hair (a plus!) and everyone else I’ve known who has taken the medication had the same experience. You’re blood work is monitored once a month while you are on it so they catch any changes quickly. You do need to be aware of your moods and mental state – I know this is an issue for some people, but I never experienced any issues.
After you finish your course of treatment, most people never have major issues with acne again. I was not so lucky. For some (mostly women), it doesn’t cure it for good. I’ve tried EVERYTHING and each time, Accutane was the only thing that cleared up my skin. It would stay perfect for 1-2 years after I finished the treatment and then would slowly start to break out again. I’m now 33 and haven’t been on Accutane for the past 4 years. My skin is still not perfect, but I have found that now that I’m older, Retin-A Micro (only Micro) keeps my skin clear for the most part.
Accutane is a very powerful drug but, for me (and quite a few other people I know), it was a godsend. I know there are tons of horror stories out there, but I wanted you to know that there are also many, many people who have had a very positive experience with it. I would take it again in a heartbeat if needed.
Whatever you decide, I hope you find something that works for you. I know how frustrating this can be!