I’m mad. Like, really f*cking mad. Ok, that’s a lie, I don’t really get mad, I just get sad. So, I’m really f*cking sad. My face was finally getting better, finally looking like something was changing and my face was starting to play nice, but NO. No, no,no. It ain’t playin’ nice no mo’. My face has freaked out. Like OMG Ihateyousomuchjuli. Iwantyoutostaysingleforever. Andidefinitelydontwantanyonetofindyouattractive. Ever.
You, my face, are a straight up b*tch.
Ugh, I’m going to get so many emails about my dirty mouth now. I’ll save you the time…please don’t send them.
Anywho, I’m having one of those days of feeling absolutely hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I clean up my diet and it gets a little bit better, then it goes back to normal. I change up my face cleansing routine and it gets a little better, then goes back to normal. I get off birth control, I stay on birth control. I take fish oil, I don’t take fish oil. I eat more fat, I eat less fat. I don’t eat dark chocolate, I do eat dark chocolate. I get facials, I don’t get facials. You get what I’m throwin’ out? I try everything, but in the end my face has full control, and I am left staring in the mirror with tears in my eyes, choking back the egg of frustration that sits in my throat.
Just today, I started taking the probiotic saccharomyce boulardii which was recommended by Liz of Cave Girl Eats. I also am getting cod liver oil soon to start trying that as well. And making sure all sugar and nuts are cut from my diet. It’s just so annoying that my mind has to be filled with thoughts of how ugly I am or how I wish I could improve my skin. That’s dumb. It should be filled with cookbook thoughts, and Christmas gift thoughts, and food thoughts. But no, the face has won.
So here’s my question out of utter frustration and anguish…do I try acutane? Do I face the fact that I may be incredibly depressed, moody, and upset for months because of the drug? Do I face the fact that I may have to take the drug even though my face and other body parts will literally dry up and peel off? Do I face the fact that it may not even work? I don’t know what to do, but I’m obviously upset enough to blab all about it and want some of your advice. So, advise me.
On a more positive note, you NEED to try these muffins. They are DELICIOUS.
Morning Glory Muffins (nut free option)
- Yield: 9 1x
Ingredients
- 1 apple, peeled and cored, shredded
- 1 large carrot, peeled
- 1/2 cup sunflower seed butter
- 1 cup pepitas
- 3 eggs, whisked
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/4 cup raisins
- 1/4 cup pecans, roughly chopped (optional for nut free version)
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Now add your pepitas to a small saucepan over medium heat with a tablespoon of fat. I used coconut oil.
- Cook for 3-5 minutes, moving around lots so they don’t burn and so they cook on all sides.
- While your pepitas are roasting, add your apple and carrot to your food processor with the shredding attachment. If you don’t have a food processor, use a grater to shred your apple and carrot.
- Add your apple and carrot to a bowl along with your sunflower seed butter and rinse out your food processor bowl.
- Then add your roasted pepitas to the food processor and puree until you get a flour/meal.
- Then add your pepita flour, eggs, coconut oil, honey, raisins, pecans, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda. Mix well.
- Pour your batter into 9 FULL muffin liners in your muffin tin. I lined my muffins tin with silicone muffin liners but paper would do just fine.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes until cooked through.
- Let cool slightly, but eat warm, because they are the best that way.
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More Nut Free Muffins:
Apple Cinnamon Muffins (nut free)
Chocolate Chip Protein Muffins (nut free)
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Hey Juli! Do NOT do the Accutane. Don’t do it.
The side affects are real and they do happen.
Think Ulcerative Colitis.
I have it.
You don’t want it!
Don’t do it.
One question….when you cut out the sugars etc from your diet, how long did you do it for? It just might not have been for long enough.
Keep your chin up!
Ulcerative Colitis sucks. I lost my colon because of it. I would never take anything with risk factors that serious, but of course, you have to make your own decision.
I second all of the people who said look into gut issues and see a naturopath/oriental medicine doc. There’s definitely something going on, and there has to be SOME natural solution to it; the problem is figuring out what that solution is! Definitely see if you can find a good doc though; they will know what to try, and eventually you’ll figure it out!
By the way, those muffins look amazing! I don’t typically make ‘paleoified’ baked goods, but with apples, carrots, sunbutter, and pepitas in there? That’s a healthy muffin! Thanks for the recipe, and good luck with your skin (:
Do not go on accutane! I also have adult onset acne but it’s getting better, although it did decide to be nasty this month for the first time in a long time. I have PCOS and my ovaries are all f-ed up from endometriosis crawling all over them. I take spironolactone and it mostly keeps my androgens under control. Without being too personal have you looked into these options: PCOS and other gyn crap, I notice you drink beer have you been checked for a gluten allergy (yes I know it sounds weird, it is a stretch), have you been checked for any allergies for that matter, thyroid function? I hope this helps 🙁
I should add that I am 31, had lovely skin when I was a teen until I went on BC from 19-24. It started getting bad around 25. I no longer use BC because it makes me feel like crap and doesn’t help the acne, plus my tubes are now tied despite being sans children. You could always look at the copper non-hormonal IUD since you are so young. I only got the PCOS and endometriosis diagnosis at age 30. I got the gluten allergy diagnosis right before I turned 31. I like the spironolactone aka aldactone other than the slightly increased diuresis. I also tried every over the counter topical, a couple Rx topicals, and antibiotics before I decided enough was enough since I scar very easily and have some pock marks that looks like they belong on Mars! I also quit all the face washing, despite being a naturally oily person, and now just wash my face morning and evening with my regular soap, which is Chagrin Valley Neem & Tea Tree. It’s taken my face most of this year to heal up and I still have occasional flare ups but they are fewer and far between and the scarring is much more minor. I intend to have the scars worked on with a laser when the breakouts are under control. Everybody is different though, so I hope all the good info in the comments gives you the info you need to ask your doc the questions that will help you decide what is best for you.
The attitude that zits = single is infinitely more unattractive than the acne scars any day. Men will probably notice that, and actually care about it, rather than the pimples. I have a great hubby and you will someday too.
Have you tried aldactone? It’s an oral medication (hormones), but not as intense as what you’re considering and it won’t peel your face off. Also, over time, your doctor can reduce the dosage. It works in tandem w bIrth control. I know holistic / clean eating is the ideal fix, but of its not working then this might be worth a shot.
Juli,
I have suffered from acne and excema for as long as I can remember…and I will say, this shit sucks! Not only do I have rashes breaking out all over, I have these mountains suddenly appear on my face! Luckily, after finding your site and taking some fish oil pills, my rashes have started clearing and my face isn’t as bad. However now I get these under the skin pimples that hurt like hell and cause huge scars. Lately I’ve been feeling the same way as you. But I have found one thing that works if I have a really bad break out..I use a clarisonic brush with some type of exfoliant wash. I do this maybe three times a week and it really helps. I used to use other products like benzoyl peroxide and other creams but they always dried my face out or caused a chemical peel, ew/ouch. Now I just wash my face in the morning and evening with cetaphil face wash and use that fantabulous face brush. I think you look awesome though, and any guy would be lucky to have you. Heck you’re a badass cross fitter with a freaking website and cookbook. Go get em girl!
You are beautiful! But I also don’t know what it’s like to be dealing with acne. I have, however, had customers tell me how fantastic Clearin from Vaxa is. This is a homeopathic acne supplement that one lady bought 3 at a time for her teenage son. She said she spent thousands of dollars and only this worked. Go to Vaxa’s website and check it out. It has a money-back guarantee, (and so did our store) and it was never returned. I would also suggest a naturopath and perhaps acupuncture.
Juli, I have no idea if this so.ution works but I received a post on FB yesterday. It was a picture of a little girl who had severe eczema at 18 months and a more recent picture of her with a totally clear face. I put a post on Pinterest with a link to the page with the info you may want to read. I will try to embed my Pinterest link here. If this is your problem it will not hurt to look at the page. God bless and I hope you can find a natural cure. Acutane is not the answer I believe. http://pinterest.com/pin/159385274283938022/
You are awesome…
You are a gifted writer/blogger Juli. You express your human-ness in a very real way. The way you describe your frustration, sadness, anger, joy, giddiness and love connects this community because we all feel those things too. Do not despair! You are waaaaaay more than your face!
Please seriously reconsider considering accutane! My brother took it when he was a teenager (that was 20 years ago) and he has struggled with pretty serious depression and anxiety ever since. He is such an amazing person and it’s been a tough few decades for him. He did a tonne of research trying to figure things out and he thinks that the accutane really messed with him at a very hormonally fragile time. Just like other things that a person can put in his or her body, that shit is toxic.
Go to a dermatologist, I had same problem come to find out I had an allergic reaction to my makeup. It doesn’t hurt to get their opinion
First I’d like to say, I’ve been creepin’ on your website daily for almost a year now….and though I haven’t weighed in on any issues before, I thought I’d offer my input on this one. My sister had TERRIBLE acne growing up, poor girl. She tried everything there was to try, my mom used to make homeopathic remedies for her face, she had daily, painstaking, time-consuming regimens she followed every day as a teenager, not fun, and nothing worked. She eventually went on Acutane in her late teens, and it cleared up her acne for good. Her face is a little scared from the acne, but clear otherwise. However, she lost her perfect eyesight and now relies on glasses/contacts due to the drug. Perhaps a small price to pay? You should deplete all other options first, but seriously weighing the pros and possible cons should help.
JB,
I’m sure you have heard from a thousand different people w/ a thousand different suggestions. There is a Doctor/Homeopath named Dr. Jacqueline Fields based out of Fort Collins in an office called the Healing Garden. She developed a line (albeit pricey) that has worked wonders on a few of my friends’ skin problems. Possibly worth a phone call or consulation???
http://thehealinggardens.org/sacredskin.html
If you decide to investigate further and tell her you follow a paleo diet, please let me know her reaction ….
Good luck and thank you for all of your amaze-balls recipes. Skin problems are the f***ing wors!