I’m mad. Like, really f*cking mad. Ok, that’s a lie, I don’t really get mad, I just get sad. So, I’m really f*cking sad. My face was finally getting better, finally looking like something was changing and my face was starting to play nice, but NO. No, no,no. It ain’t playin’ nice no mo’. My face has freaked out. Like OMG Ihateyousomuchjuli. Iwantyoutostaysingleforever. Andidefinitelydontwantanyonetofindyouattractive. Ever.
You, my face, are a straight up b*tch.
Ugh, I’m going to get so many emails about my dirty mouth now. I’ll save you the time…please don’t send them.
Anywho, I’m having one of those days of feeling absolutely hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I clean up my diet and it gets a little bit better, then it goes back to normal. I change up my face cleansing routine and it gets a little better, then goes back to normal. I get off birth control, I stay on birth control. I take fish oil, I don’t take fish oil. I eat more fat, I eat less fat. I don’t eat dark chocolate, I do eat dark chocolate. I get facials, I don’t get facials. You get what I’m throwin’ out? I try everything, but in the end my face has full control, and I am left staring in the mirror with tears in my eyes, choking back the egg of frustration that sits in my throat.
Just today, I started taking the probiotic saccharomyce boulardii which was recommended by Liz of Cave Girl Eats. I also am getting cod liver oil soon to start trying that as well. And making sure all sugar and nuts are cut from my diet. It’s just so annoying that my mind has to be filled with thoughts of how ugly I am or how I wish I could improve my skin. That’s dumb. It should be filled with cookbook thoughts, and Christmas gift thoughts, and food thoughts. But no, the face has won.
So here’s my question out of utter frustration and anguish…do I try acutane? Do I face the fact that I may be incredibly depressed, moody, and upset for months because of the drug? Do I face the fact that I may have to take the drug even though my face and other body parts will literally dry up and peel off? Do I face the fact that it may not even work? I don’t know what to do, but I’m obviously upset enough to blab all about it and want some of your advice. So, advise me.
On a more positive note, you NEED to try these muffins. They are DELICIOUS.
Morning Glory Muffins (nut free option)
- Yield: 9 1x
Ingredients
- 1 apple, peeled and cored, shredded
- 1 large carrot, peeled
- 1/2 cup sunflower seed butter
- 1 cup pepitas
- 3 eggs, whisked
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/4 cup raisins
- 1/4 cup pecans, roughly chopped (optional for nut free version)
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon raw honey
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Now add your pepitas to a small saucepan over medium heat with a tablespoon of fat. I used coconut oil.
- Cook for 3-5 minutes, moving around lots so they don’t burn and so they cook on all sides.
- While your pepitas are roasting, add your apple and carrot to your food processor with the shredding attachment. If you don’t have a food processor, use a grater to shred your apple and carrot.
- Add your apple and carrot to a bowl along with your sunflower seed butter and rinse out your food processor bowl.
- Then add your roasted pepitas to the food processor and puree until you get a flour/meal.
- Then add your pepita flour, eggs, coconut oil, honey, raisins, pecans, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda. Mix well.
- Pour your batter into 9 FULL muffin liners in your muffin tin. I lined my muffins tin with silicone muffin liners but paper would do just fine.
- Bake for 25-30 minutes until cooked through.
- Let cool slightly, but eat warm, because they are the best that way.
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More Nut Free Muffins:
Apple Cinnamon Muffins (nut free)
Chocolate Chip Protein Muffins (nut free)
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Duuuuuude – don’t do it.
There’s at least 4 chicks over in London that are in agreement that you are HOT (you were on our list of ‘if I played for the other side…’ )
Also, skin sucks. Same as thighs suck. Or Varicose Veins suck (alllllllways someone worse off than yourself) or having only one leg sucks (told you)
Buuuuuut don’t do the drugs, you’re only jumping out of the frying pan. Kim might be right – leave it the fook alone for 4 weeks (makeup and all – maybe wait until post x-mas) and just see. The first few weeks might suck but you never know.
xx
Juli,
I had severe cystic acne in high school. I tried everything prior to getting on accutane…no sugar, cleaned up the diet, kagen water, different skin care products..anything and everything. Some of it helped with the topical acne, but nothing helped the cystic acne like accutane did. I researched all the side effects and still decided to give it a go. BEST DECISION I EVER MADE! I did not have any depression or joint pain, the only thing I had was dry skin….but that was way better than major cysts on my face. After six months I was done and my skin looked great. I still had acne scars, but the cysts were gone! It definitely is a serious drug, but for people who have suffered with acne their entire life it can be a life saver. Good luck with whatever decision you make!
Hey Juli, love your blog. Sorry to hear you’re so upset with your body lately.
I think I might know what is irritating your skin. Or maybe I don’t know shit, but you sound a lot like I did some 10 months ago when I first began the diet. At the time, I was seriously considering Acutane like you but felt myself bending under what I wanted physically on the surface and what I knew internally could ruin my health forever. I tried to talk myself into it, I am so thankful I did not follow through with it. If you’re having similar feelings, LISTEN to that instinct. Please be patient and listen to your body, it loves you, it’s trying to take care of you. First let me just say to cut out the fruits and nuts-
I know. And I’m sorry.
I notice a lot of your recipes include high amounts of nuts and honey as a sweetener- I would say to cut back or just cut out these things and watch how your skin improves.
I noticed when I began the diet I LOVED snacking on nuts and didn’t realize they were truly a “limited quantity” kind of food- the tricky thing about nuts is that they all belong to vastly different botanical families, some of the mot popular nuts aren’t even nuts at all… Also, they are very high in calories & carbs and anytime your overeat in a single sitting, your body converts almost everything it can to sugar. Including proteins. To this day I still don’t have it answered what makes certain nuts so irritating to my acne and others none. However, I recommend you cut them all out and if you must have a nut, go for macadamia nuts. They do not upset my skin whatsoever AND they have almost 0 inflammation factor according to various nutrient data websites- but don’t overdo it, no more than 1/4 cup a day during your elimination phase if any.
Given where you describe your skin to be right now, I would avoid sugar in any form. it’s not a myth or some hype- FORGET sugar. Your skin hates it.
I had and still have pretty reactions to honey which has consistently proved itself more than irritable to my acne, even in small quantities such as a teaspoon. But I found that maple syrup doesn’t disrupt my skin as long as I don’t consume ridiculous amounts. I’m not saying go on a sweet binge by experimenting between these two- in fact, I’m tell you the opposite. I would avoid sugar in every way for a couple of weeks- including fruits. This dramatically effected my skin during the beginning phases of my paleo diet and even now when my skin gets fussy, if I cut out fruit for a few days, my skin recovers much much quicker. I love fruit as much as the next person, but it does contain sugar- you can argue about it all you want, but healthy nutrients added or not, sugar will still effect you.
I will probably get a lot of hate responses for this but I would cut back on the sweet baking for a while- you make incredible recipes and you remind me a lot of myself when I went off on paleo-baking-possibilities in my diet- to which my consequences were much like you describe, constant breaking out from mild-severe acne. I found that it was mostly about the AMOUNT of nuts I consumed and my sensitivity to honey/sugars (I was making a lot of breads from various nuts and coconut flour). Cut them all out and stick to your veggies and meats and see the difference.
Indulge in recipes that are meat and vegetable based and you WILL see a difference- if you don’t, there’s more than likely a vegetable you’re eating that you’re allergic to.
Do it Jules. I believe in you!
-Bo
Obviously, my vote is please don’t do the Acutane.
You’re on the right path girl, but even on the paleo diet there are certain foods you can overdo that will upset your health and ultimately manifest in your skin.
I’d like to add to stay the hell away from coffee. And green tea. I realize coffee is a hard beverage to give up but I was more than successful in substituting roasted dandelion root tea for my regular coffee brew (it’s caffeine free and has a strikingly similar taste to coffee especially when combined with other herbal teas), I found it to be delicious. Here’s a good recipe for a brew:
http://www.elanaspantry.com/dandelion-root-coffee/
As for green tea, there’s very controversial debate over it’s effects on acne but I personally discovered it was in fact aiding my acne flare ups in addition to coffee (which I quit at different times). Organic/decaffeinated or not, I broke out.
Yerba matte is sightly better than straight green tea and coffee, I think. I eventually braved trying this out as an alternative to coffee and regular green tea. It definitely gives me a boost of sustained energy but if I have more than a cup a day, I noticed little acne flare ups coming on. Some people’s bodies handle energy-boosting foods/drinks better than others, I’m a naturally high-energized person- I have no business downing coffee regularly or even excessive amounts of green tea(s), as I’ve learned to accept.
Remember though about the sugars… Fruits should be a treat, not a regularly consumed food with every meal and they should definitely be eaten alone/way before a meal, if at all. I know as an athlete too, the risks involved with eating too low of carbs but I’m not asking you to do that, you just have to switch your carb intake to foods that don’t contain sugar (at least for a little while, while you go through this srtict-dieting phase to heal your skin). You know your body, you know how many carbs you usually need in a day, so take that number and divide it up with veggies and more veggies. You don’t have to eat like this forever but while your skin is breaking out, this is the best advice I could give anyone and that I wish somebody had given me before I stumbled upon it by accident.
The carb count you get from fruits such as apples is deliberately due to their sugar content. Vegetable carbs are much more valuable for sustaining energy and appetite-satiation, only without the sugar. (Sorry to everyone who’s skin doesn’t show signs of over-consumption of [natural] sugars but us acne sufferers fucking know- that shit sucks.)
I STRONGLY recommend that for your carbohydrate consumption on the paleo diet, you make non-starchy vegetables your carb intake instead of fruits & nuts because the sugars in fruits do more harm than good and nuts are questionable for a variety of reasons. Additionally, most vegetables are alkalizing, as opposed to many fruits which are typically acidic (due to their sugar content).
I hope this information helps and that you give it a try, I had really stubborn acne that would crush my self-esteem every day- I totally feel for you. Keep strong, be patient with your body, and exhaust every natural method there is before doing something so dangerously permanent as Acutane.
If you have any questions or want to know specifics about something, I’ve investigated and experimented with virtually every one possible. Feel free to email me if you want.
Good luck!
Just wanted to add one last thing. I advise caution against seeds as well for the time being. Nuts and seeds are essentially the same thing, and I’ve noticed reactions to certain seeds as well as nuts during my reintroduction phases.
I’m a 25 yr old female (athlete). I struggled with acne since I was 13 to the point of refusing to go to the bathroom with the lights on because I hated my skin’s condition so much and it broke my heart to see my reflection.
I noticed a lot of people here have commented on their use of topical medications as well as what they eat. Personally, my skin acts accordingly to what I eat over what I put on my face. In fact, I don’t put anything on my face. Ever. I wash my face 1-2 times a day with a soap free/natural oil based bar and pat it dry with a towel I’ve established a very good ph balance with the paleo diet and this method of care for my skin gives me glowing, balanced skin (and requires virtually no care). I’m amazed. The winter weather has always been notorious for giving me dry skin and making my skin break out really bad. Not this year- not since going Paleo 11 months ago.
Not only do I not feel the need for any topical aid, I deliberately avoid tempting facial creams/oils during the “reintroduction phases” of this diet because I don’t want any topical stuff to compromise the results of the experimental foods I eat.
I’m telling you, do this Juli. Your body is reacting to something you’re putting in it, you aren’t “born” with acne it is NOT a normal condition as the paleo diet has debunked and I can personally attest to. You need to eat and drink as basic and gentle as it gets to let it heal:
Water. Chicken/fish (if you’re not allergic to any). Vegetables. EVOO for recipes.
Stay on top of your water consumption and eat the simplest foods without high sugar/starch/carbs and you will see a difference in your skin. I saw a difference within a few days when I did the diet cut-throat and stopped putting anything on my face (even natural/holistic stuff) and by the 3rd week, I wasn’t breaking out anymore. To this day I have consistently clear skin unless I get off the diet for an extended amount of time.
As others have already said, you are crazy beautiful and FUNNY as hell. I love your blog and your creative inspiration. I can relate to how you feel in spite of your other abounding, wonderful qualities. Clear skin is yours for the taking and it is more than possible to achieve naturally so I hope you go for it!
Try the pads with saliciac (sp?) acid 2% only not just one or two each time, use 6-10 pads each time you wash your face. So, one pad for half of your forehead, one for the other half, one for a cheek, etc. have ALWAYS had horrible acne- actually painful until I started this a few years ago. Wash my face at least twice a day this way. Get maybe one zit a month now!
I went on a 6 month treatment with Accutane 4 years ago and my face has stayed relatively clear since. I have not suffered any of the more severe side effects associated with it. However, my lips, nose and other areas of skin dried out like a BITCH. I felt like I was constantly bathing in lotions and aquaphor. I was extremely sensitive to the sun, but I would just wear SPF and a hat when I knew I’d be out in direct sunlight for an extended period of time. They closely monitor your liver enzymes and make you take all sorts of crazy tests to get on the meds which is annoying, but it made me feel a little safer taking it.
All in all…. would I take it again? Considering how bad my skin was and how desperate I was to get it cleared up….YES. But, I would exhaust all options before taking the plunge to try Accutane. Hope this helps Juli 🙂 I feel your pain. ACNE can SUCK IT!
I took accutane eight years ago and my skin is still clear. i do suffer from occasional break-outs (usually related to my period — gotta love it), but it is nothing compared to what it was before. Before that point, I had literally tried EVERYTHING and nothing worked at all. On Accutane, my skin cleared up almost immediately with little to no side effects. I personally did not experience any of the moodiness (although my doctor told me that it was really rare to become depressed anyways). The side effects that I really noticed were the dry skin (but I have dry skin anyways). My lips peeled a lot so I was addicted to chap stick and used a loooot of moisturizer. Also my nose bled quite a bit because my skin was so dry. I cannot recommend the medication enough though, it gave me hope when I thought that there was no other solution for me and I was destined to have gross skin for the rest of my life. It is truly a miracle drug. If you have any more questions about it, feel free to email me and I will give you all of the details! I would definitely recommend it though, 100%!
Julie- My teenage daughter has really suffered from skin problems and she has had great success with OBAGI acne products.It took a slid month for her to see results and now she is 100% clear. She said to me today mom look I am even on my period and my face is this clear. (she would freak out if she knew I said that) I would give it a try, it’s expensive but so worth it.
I have had acne issues since I was 16 ( I am now 40). Sometimes it has been ok other times it has been so bad I didn’t want to leave the house. Ihave tried numerous oral and topical medications, pro-activ (which ruined all my bedding), and every other type pf cleansing routine. A couple of years ago I tried retin A and my skin is 90% clear now. The only time I still get pimples is right before my cycle. But that only happens if Idon’t use the cream. I barely even have to wear make-up any more! Your skin will be dry and flakey for tye first month but will adapt. Just don’t use it everyday until your skin gets use to it. Hope this helps!
Juli, I feel for you girl.. I struggled severely on this front a couple of years ago and it seemed like nothing worked. I would get so worked up and stressed about how bad my face looked and it spilled over in other aspects of my life. If there’s one thing I learned from the whole things it’s that most of the time, people aren’t really noticing the acne unless you are so self-conscious that you make them aware of it. And stressing about it only makes it worse. It seems to me that every single person has a flaw or flaws that they don’t like about themselves but other people don’t usually see. Look at all of the wonderful things you have going for you! You are an inspiration to all of us who read your blog.. we can relate to you as so many levels and yet we aspire to be like you one day– and the best part is we don’t care if you have acne or not! 🙂 Smooth skin isn’t going to bring a man into your life.. confidence and loving yourself is.
So my advice is to not stress about it, put some good smelling sh*t on your face, and smile about all that you are and will be.
Absolutely do not take accutane. I used to have a lot of skin problems too, have you been to the MD to check hormone levels because that can really influence acne. Birth control helped me but took several different tries with different medications to get the right one. Proactiv did wonders in my teens, I just use castor oil/grapeseed now. Also check out acupuncture, it really works for everything!!!!!!!
as a doctor of traditional chinese medicine, i second the rec for acupuncture…particularly in combination with chinese herbal formulas and dietary/cleansing routines (though sounds as though you’re already doing the latter). i’ve had good results treating my own adult acne and that of patients of all ages. i’m in FoCo…but i’m sure there must be a good practitioner in Denver. look for someone who’s a traditional chinese medicine or oriental medicine doctor with strong herbal knowledge in addition to an acupuncture license (rather than someone whose main training is in acupuncture alone).