Wearing high heels anywhere is so unrealistic. Especially while drinking. I’ve figured out, my toes almost always swell when I drink. Seriously, they get hot, swell up, and get tingly. Like when you’re on an airplane. Or pregnant. At least that’s what I’ve heard. I’ve never been with child.

I say this because I’m watching Sex and the City. But also, because I wore heeled boots out a week ago and my toes were crying after 2 or 7 shots of vodka. And when my toes cry, I whine. I’m an only child, so I’m sure you can imagine how often whining occurs. Answer: #fartoooften. I hate myself sometimes. And my toes. My chubby, drunk toes.

Speaking of drinking times, as you may know, the season finale of The Bachelor was on the other night and that meant girls night. And girls night includes food, more food, drinks, and more drinks. And gossip. It’s the best part. We decided for the finale, we would drink every time someone on the show said ‘connection’ or ‘love’. So I’m sure you can imagine how many drinks were downed. But that’s not what’s important here….

Sean chose….Catherine. WTF?!?! Are you serious? I was screaming at the TV. I’m not sure if it was the booze talking, but I was mad either way. This show is already complete bullsh*. I mean every single girl thinks she is in love with a guy after a couple weeks. And when I say a couple weeks, I am exaggerating. But then they make him pick the wrong person?! After telling us he’s a born again virgin?? Are you freaking serious? Way to make the Bachelor a COMPLETE bore. I mean come on. I was in pissed off-thrown for a loop-shock. It was so disappointing. I think he picked Catherine because he knew Lindsay would jump his bones. And he’s trying to keep it in his pants after living 28 years. I guess he made the right decision. Bastard.

I’m almost positive gluten poisoned me. Seriously. After eating gluten, then drinking a bottle of Kim Crawford, my stomach is f*cked. I am resisting to blame it on the alcohol. That would be out of my system by now. But this gluten from last week is haunting me. I’m pretty sure gluten is a parasite and this parasite is making babies in my insides that are very hungry children. Most are. And now they are drunk parasite children. What I’m trying to say here is, my insides hate me. I’m staying away from sugar, alcohol, and new restaurants. My life just got boring, didn’t it? Damnit.

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My Meat Sauce I Put On Everything

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5 from 24 reviews

Ingredients

Scale
  • 1 pound ground chicken
  • 1 pound bulk pork mild italian sausage
  • 1 yellow bell pepper, diced
  • 1 red bell pepper, diced
  • 1 yellow onion, diced
  • 2 (14 ounce ) cans of tomato sauce
  • 3 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • ½ teaspoon dried oregano
  • ½ teaspoon dried parsley
  • ½ teaspoon dried thyme
  • ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
  • ½ cup fresh basil, finely chopped
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • 12 tablespoons fat of choice (I used bacon fat)

Instructions

  1. Heat up a large saucepan over medium heat, add a couple tablespoons of fat of choice then add minced garlic cloves, the bell peppers and onion along with a little salt and pepper to the pan.
  2. Move vegetables around until onions become translucent.
  3. Add ground chicken and bulk italian sausage to the saucepan and break up the meat.
  4. When meat has begun to cook through, add the spices.
  5. When meat is almost done cooking, pour in the two cans of tomato sauce.
  6. Salt and pepper once more, then reduce heat and let simmer for 5-7 minutes.
  7. When all the flavors are well mixed, add the chopped fresh basil, mix well, and serve!
  8. Easy peasy! Put on mushrooms, brussel sprouts, spaghetti squash, eggs, acorn squash, really anything you want. Or eat it cold. It’s pretty damn good cold.

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114 Comments

  1. Mary says:

    this recipe was great! Love the sausage and cayenne pepper, spicy is good! and I don’t necessarily like spicy!






  2. Stacey says:

    What kind of pork italian sausage did you use for this recipe?

    1. juli says:

      the kind i got in bulk at whole foods

  3. Jade says:

    Made the sauce last night and pored it over spaghetti squash. My husband and I decided it was a number one on our list of go to foods!

  4. Marcy says:

    Gluten hangover is a real thing (for me at least)! Since drinking and eating crap food often go hand in hand it’s hard to tell, but it really does feel just like an alcohol hangover (without the stabbing headache) when you wake up the next morning except that IT’S STILL THERE THE MORNING AFTER THAT. And then you’re like, crap. Shouldn’t have eaten that sammich.

    But then again I usually don’t get many GI effects from gluten; it makes my ADD SOOO much worse. Feels like my neurons are trying to fire through pudding. Stupid gluten. Thanks for the recipe!

  5. Aleshia says:

    This stuff is AMAZING! Thank you for sharing! I eat it at least twice a day on everything!

  6. Tracey says:

    Loved this stuff! I mean seriously loved it. I’ve new to Paleo and this really helped me make it thru the week. Also got everything to make it again. It’s going to be a staple for me sure! Thanks so much!!!

  7. Eric says:

    My girlfriend, Vanessa, thought your Sweet Potato Chai Muffins were Phucking. Awesommmme. I think that This. Is. Phucking. Awesommmme. Made it on Friday and I can’t wait to eat it again.






  8. Erika says:

    Just made this and I can’t stop tasting it! Like, crazy delicious!!

  9. Karly says:

    Hi Julie! I am getting ready to start a 21 day sugar detox. Before I start I’m doing my homework and I’m wondering if this sauce should be enjoyed cautiously because of the sugar in the tomatoes. I love your recipes and ideas and greatly appreciate you sharing all of it!

    1. juli says:

      i wouldn’t worry too much about it, but wouldn’t eat it for every single meal either haha

  10. chris says:

    Absolutely fantastic.. i also added a little bacon and white button mushrooms. SO good!