Wearing high heels anywhere is so unrealistic. Especially while drinking. I’ve figured out, my toes almost always swell when I drink. Seriously, they get hot, swell up, and get tingly. Like when you’re on an airplane. Or pregnant. At least that’s what I’ve heard. I’ve never been with child.
I say this because I’m watching Sex and the City. But also, because I wore heeled boots out a week ago and my toes were crying after 2 or 7 shots of vodka. And when my toes cry, I whine. I’m an only child, so I’m sure you can imagine how often whining occurs. Answer: #fartoooften. I hate myself sometimes. And my toes. My chubby, drunk toes.
Speaking of drinking times, as you may know, the season finale of The Bachelor was on the other night and that meant girls night. And girls night includes food, more food, drinks, and more drinks. And gossip. It’s the best part. We decided for the finale, we would drink every time someone on the show said ‘connection’ or ‘love’. So I’m sure you can imagine how many drinks were downed. But that’s not what’s important here….
Sean chose….Catherine. WTF?!?! Are you serious? I was screaming at the TV. I’m not sure if it was the booze talking, but I was mad either way. This show is already complete bullsh*. I mean every single girl thinks she is in love with a guy after a couple weeks. And when I say a couple weeks, I am exaggerating. But then they make him pick the wrong person?! After telling us he’s a born again virgin?? Are you freaking serious? Way to make the Bachelor a COMPLETE bore. I mean come on. I was in pissed off-thrown for a loop-shock. It was so disappointing. I think he picked Catherine because he knew Lindsay would jump his bones. And he’s trying to keep it in his pants after living 28 years. I guess he made the right decision. Bastard.
I’m almost positive gluten poisoned me. Seriously. After eating gluten, then drinking a bottle of Kim Crawford, my stomach is f*cked. I am resisting to blame it on the alcohol. That would be out of my system by now. But this gluten from last week is haunting me. I’m pretty sure gluten is a parasite and this parasite is making babies in my insides that are very hungry children. Most are. And now they are drunk parasite children. What I’m trying to say here is, my insides hate me. I’m staying away from sugar, alcohol, and new restaurants. My life just got boring, didn’t it? Damnit.
My Meat Sauce I Put On Everything
Ingredients
- 1 pound ground chicken
- 1 pound bulk pork mild italian sausage
- 1 yellow bell pepper, diced
- 1 red bell pepper, diced
- 1 yellow onion, diced
- 2 (14 ounce ) cans of tomato sauce
- 3 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
- ½ teaspoon dried oregano
- ½ teaspoon dried parsley
- ½ teaspoon dried thyme
- ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
- ½ cup fresh basil, finely chopped
- salt and pepper, to taste
- 1–2 tablespoons fat of choice (I used bacon fat)
Instructions
- Heat up a large saucepan over medium heat, add a couple tablespoons of fat of choice then add minced garlic cloves, the bell peppers and onion along with a little salt and pepper to the pan.
- Move vegetables around until onions become translucent.
- Add ground chicken and bulk italian sausage to the saucepan and break up the meat.
- When meat has begun to cook through, add the spices.
- When meat is almost done cooking, pour in the two cans of tomato sauce.
- Salt and pepper once more, then reduce heat and let simmer for 5-7 minutes.
- When all the flavors are well mixed, add the chopped fresh basil, mix well, and serve!
- Easy peasy! Put on mushrooms, brussel sprouts, spaghetti squash, eggs, acorn squash, really anything you want. Or eat it cold. It’s pretty damn good cold.
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Have you ever been tested for celiac disease? It sounds like you have serious issues with gluten. If you have celiac, it is important to get it in your medical charts–future hospital stays (maybe someday you’ll have pregnant toes instead of drunk toes!) will take your gluten intolerance far more serious if it is documented. It is a simple blood test. You do have to be eating a little bit of gluten for the test to work so you might want to plan for the test after a vacation where you know you’ll cheat a bit. People with celiac disease can take up to a month to heal from exposure to a few crumbs of gluten.
Thanks for your awesome site! My youngest daughter is celiac and lactose intolerant so it was easy for my husband and I to transition to Paleo when we started CrossFitting a year ago. Your banana bread gets made every other weekend around here–satisfies the gluten or sweet longings for our whole family. 🙂
You crack me up Juli!! I am super stoked about making this recipe this weekend for the upcoming 45 day Paleo Challenge at my gym. I’ve been trying a bunch of your recipes to “get ready” for the Challenge and I think I’m damn well prepared!! YOU ROCK!!
Made this with sauteed mushrooms in the sauce and served it over cauliflower rice. Ri-donc-ulous!!!
Awesome recipe! Thanks!
I only wear heals to ceremonies and holidays. I just can’t wear them anymore and honestly I don’t want too! I want to be comfortable not hobbled from the pain.
This meat sauce sounds great! I will have to try it some time 🙂
I am new to your blog so I am having fun checking out your recipes!
Just made this for dinner tonight – couldn’t wait and ate it out of the pot. My husband and I love your cooking (I have yet to make something from your site that wasn’t out of this world) and my 4 year old son loves your cooking videos. Thanks and please keep the goodness coming!
DANGGGG that looks good! I’ve been making the bolognese sauce from Practical Paleo pretty often, and lovingggg it.
…Way more than I love wearing heels, although they do make for a huge confidence booster, until 2 hours in when my toes start to cry like yours. The trick is to find that perfect pair that fit and don’t put all your weight into your toes. They’re pricesless. I have a pair of Nine West pumps that I can actually wear out all night, even dancing and standing. Priceless!
This meat sauce is incredible! Thanks for the recipe!
I would caution against using titles such as “My meat sauce that I put on everything” because that leaves the door open for people like me, who direct their attention to the comment above mine and say Thats what she said…..
Just curious, how is it paleo to cook in bacon fat? Isn’t bacon processed meat? Sorry if this is an obviously incorrect statement, I am new to this
yes, bacon is paleo, but trying to find a sugar free bacon is going to be the best. i have a link in my ingredient list for it