Wearing high heels anywhere is so unrealistic. Especially while drinking. I’ve figured out, my toes almost always swell when I drink. Seriously, they get hot, swell up, and get tingly. Like when you’re on an airplane. Or pregnant. At least that’s what I’ve heard. I’ve never been with child.
I say this because I’m watching Sex and the City. But also, because I wore heeled boots out a week ago and my toes were crying after 2 or 7 shots of vodka. And when my toes cry, I whine. I’m an only child, so I’m sure you can imagine how often whining occurs. Answer: #fartoooften. I hate myself sometimes. And my toes. My chubby, drunk toes.
Speaking of drinking times, as you may know, the season finale of The Bachelor was on the other night and that meant girls night. And girls night includes food, more food, drinks, and more drinks. And gossip. It’s the best part. We decided for the finale, we would drink every time someone on the show said ‘connection’ or ‘love’. So I’m sure you can imagine how many drinks were downed. But that’s not what’s important here….
Sean chose….Catherine. WTF?!?! Are you serious? I was screaming at the TV. I’m not sure if it was the booze talking, but I was mad either way. This show is already complete bullsh*. I mean every single girl thinks she is in love with a guy after a couple weeks. And when I say a couple weeks, I am exaggerating. But then they make him pick the wrong person?! After telling us he’s a born again virgin?? Are you freaking serious? Way to make the Bachelor a COMPLETE bore. I mean come on. I was in pissed off-thrown for a loop-shock. It was so disappointing. I think he picked Catherine because he knew Lindsay would jump his bones. And he’s trying to keep it in his pants after living 28 years. I guess he made the right decision. Bastard.
I’m almost positive gluten poisoned me. Seriously. After eating gluten, then drinking a bottle of Kim Crawford, my stomach is f*cked. I am resisting to blame it on the alcohol. That would be out of my system by now. But this gluten from last week is haunting me. I’m pretty sure gluten is a parasite and this parasite is making babies in my insides that are very hungry children. Most are. And now they are drunk parasite children. What I’m trying to say here is, my insides hate me. I’m staying away from sugar, alcohol, and new restaurants. My life just got boring, didn’t it? Damnit.
My Meat Sauce I Put On Everything
Ingredients
- 1 pound ground chicken
- 1 pound bulk pork mild italian sausage
- 1 yellow bell pepper, diced
- 1 red bell pepper, diced
- 1 yellow onion, diced
- 2 (14 ounce ) cans of tomato sauce
- 3 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
- ½ teaspoon dried oregano
- ½ teaspoon dried parsley
- ½ teaspoon dried thyme
- ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
- ½ cup fresh basil, finely chopped
- salt and pepper, to taste
- 1–2 tablespoons fat of choice (I used bacon fat)
Instructions
- Heat up a large saucepan over medium heat, add a couple tablespoons of fat of choice then add minced garlic cloves, the bell peppers and onion along with a little salt and pepper to the pan.
- Move vegetables around until onions become translucent.
- Add ground chicken and bulk italian sausage to the saucepan and break up the meat.
- When meat has begun to cook through, add the spices.
- When meat is almost done cooking, pour in the two cans of tomato sauce.
- Salt and pepper once more, then reduce heat and let simmer for 5-7 minutes.
- When all the flavors are well mixed, add the chopped fresh basil, mix well, and serve!
- Easy peasy! Put on mushrooms, brussel sprouts, spaghetti squash, eggs, acorn squash, really anything you want. Or eat it cold. It’s pretty damn good cold.
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Whaaa? Catherine was SO much better than Lindsay! Lindsay’s too young for him and kind of boring, IMO, although I have to admit she took the rejection pretty gracefully.
Also, I think Sergio should be on Paleo Bachelor. He’s already pretty dang popular with these ladies!
This sauce is good eats. i made it tonight, interested in what the ground chicken and pork would be like together. yum yum
What was that green drink you were drinking on Instagram? And above I thought that said farts often then I re read it and was like ohhhhh snap far too often haha …. Obviously I’m slow.
I’m sorry about the messed up “glutenized” tummy. BUT I disagree with about the bachelor!!! I was rooting for Catherine (but thinking he’d totally pick Lindsay). Yes, the show is BS, but I’m still glad he picked Catherine 🙂 Moving on to other important topics…Your thoughts on the new bachelorette, Des?
her family is cray cray.
My Doctor recommended your blog to me. I am a newbie with the Paleo. I have Diabetes and of course overweight and my husband is also. I can’t wait to get started on this new way of life. You will be helping us. Thank you… MY husband things you meat sauce will be a staple in this house. Going out to get the products tomorrow. Thanks for doing this and inspiring people. 🙂
2 or 7 Vodka shots! Love it. great to read someone who speaks their mind. I’m about to shake up my 3rd mojito for my Friday night and make the macadamia nut banana bread squares you posted the other day. yummo!
I stopped watching the bachelor years ago because I found it nauseating how those girls could actually be ok with the fact that they are all making out with the same person. Why waste time and just start making out with each other since that is practically what they are doing? And falling in love after a few days?!?! Those chics are, as you said, cray cray 😉
Can you tell me what veggies you used in the picture and how you prepared them? Looks yummy!
brussel sprouts and mushrooms. just sauteed them in bacon fat with some salt and pepper!
hahahahha! this post is hilarious! And…I need to stop talking and actually MAKE one of your meals one day…I’m keep saying I’m going to and then I end up getting home and not wanting to make anything lol. Anyways, I love your outlook on life as well and you provided me with a much needed laugh on a dreary friday morning:)