Have you ever had a muscle cramp hurt so bad that you almost threw up? I have. In my inner thigh. Inner thigh cramps are by far the worst thing because the cramp creeps up to your crotch. And nobody wants a crotch cramp. Nobody.
Enough about crotch cramps, you perve. Onto serious matters. My credit card hates Pittsburgh. Seriously. Every time I come here, every store denies it. Even when I call the bank to say “Hey, stop freaking out and thinking I’m a thief who loves Pittsburgh”, it still doesn’t work. What’s up with that? Where my bank people at? Riddle me that, bank people.
Based on my statement above, I’m guessing you understand that I’m in Pittsburgh. If not, get with it bro! I’m working on a project out here! This is my second trip for this project and so far, it’s going awesome! This is by far the most exciting project I’ve ever worked on and I’m seriously giddy with happiness. Like, weirdly happy. I still can’t officially talk about the project, but believe me, you probably won’t be nearly as excited as I am. Or maybe you will! If that’s so, then I really like you. Anywho, yesterday was my first day of working on the project and the day went perfectly. I made pretty much the most adorbs street tacos of all time.
You guys, guess what? My little Jackson dog is kind of sick. Now don’t you freak out, he’s ok, but the poor guy has an upset stomach. So get this: the morning of my flight to Pittsburgh, I was awaken by Jackson vomitting. Not the greatest thing to wake up to, but things happen, vomit happens. So I didn’t think much of it, cleaned it up then curled up with him on the couch. Soon after, he started barking to go outside. His dad took him out and Jackson ran outside in a panic. Nobody wants to crap their pants inside in front of their humans. No one. This poor kid was in so much pain, I actually heard him scream from inside my apartment. Bloody murder scream. I will never get that sound out of my head, it was the most heartbreaking sound ever. So I headed off to Pittsburgh like a terrible dog mother while my boyfriend took him to the vet to get some x-rays. Turns out nothing was wrong with him. He just has a “sensitive butt”. I don’t know what that means, but I’m guessing he can’t eat apple since that was the only different thing he ate the day before. Poor guy. Look at him all curled up with his dad.
OMG dead from cuteness.
Are you upset that I talked about dog butts? Whatever. I saw way worse things talked about on instagram yesterday about human butts. Gross. Human butts are gross and should never be mentioned via instagram. Ever.
Yesterday I had a guy comment about how annoying I am. And white trash. I think he may be right. But he also did use the word “what’re” which isn’t actually a proper contraction. Shame. He could have really proved his manhood with such a rude comment if he had used proper grammar. The poor, dumb bastard.
Ooey Gooey Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bars
- Yield: 16 1x
Ingredients
- 3/4 cup pumpkin puree
- 1/2 cup butter or ghee or coconut oil, melted + extra for greasing dish
- 1 egg, whisked
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup almond flour
- 1/4 cup tapioca flour
- 1 cup coconut sugar
- 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
- 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
- Grease an 8×8 glass baking dish with ghee, coconut oil or butter.
- Mix all ingredient together in a large bowl until well combined.
- Pour mixture into baking dish.
- Bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
- Let cool for 10 minutes before cutting and serving.
Notes
Makes 16 squares
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You May Also Like:
Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cups
Pumpkin Spice Chocolate Chip Energy Balls
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Hi…I love pumpkin and I love chocolate…but not together…do you think these would be just as good without the chocolate chips?
These are amazing Juli. I totally overcooked them, because I am an idiot and was trying to do ten things at once. So they had about 45 minutes but they went almost caramelly, still super soft and utterly delicious. I made no substitutions 😉 but might have snuck in a few extra choc chips because hell why not. Great recipe, thanks!
Ha Ha. Too funny! If you are leto, me thinks you shouldn’t be eating these!
It’s 7:30pm and I am seriously thinking about going to the store to get chocolate chips to make these.
All of your recipes that I have tried so far have been amaze balls ! Looking forward to trying more.
These look amazing and I am totally going to make them!! I was wondering if maybe you would do the posts again on what you eat. It totally helps me to find some things I’ve never ever heard of. Paleo hasn’t become super popular in Reno yet so I order a lot of things you say are good! Expanding my options makes paleo life more fun! Thank you for all you do!
I am making these tonight! Yum!
Ive got a question about Coconut Oil:
on the Tropical Traditions website, they have the Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil and the Pure Coconut Oil.
On Nuts.com they have Organic Coconut Oil (Raw)…
PPLEASE help me and explain to me the difference. i just dont know :/
I hope you don’t mind me butting in but hopefully my answer is somewhat useful! The TT gold label oil is made by hand using a process without any machinery or chemicals. The TT pure coconut oil is expeller pressed and deodorised, which means it has no coconut flavour (it’s great for things where you don’t want a coconut taste to overpower other flavours – I like to use it when baking sometimes, for example). It’s also not certified organic. The Nuts.com oil is cold pressed and raw, which just means it was not heated in any way!
No! I appreciate your help!! Ok…the nuts.com/raw kind, what does it mean when its not heated? Does it make it different with baking, or?? im sorry im so clueless on this!
I just made these. Even the non-paleo boyfriend is scarfing them down! Delicious, thank you!!!
They look seriously amazing, Juli! I can’t wait to hear more about the project, but I know it’ll be amazing based on all the Instagram teasers I’m drooling over on a daily basis!
What can you substitute for the almond flour.I’m allergic to nuts.pleeease help.
hey Adrienne try her pumpkin chocolate chip muffin recipe; it’s amazing and is based on coconut flour 🙂