Fig Fudge Balls

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I know I said I wouldn’t be blogging much this week, but I lied. I couldn’t leave ya hangin now could I? That’d just be a dick move. So I am sitting in a Starbucks somewhere in Dallas, which only took me 45 minutes to find, just so I can blog about food. My dedication to food still somehow amazes me.

So I’ve held up pretty well paleo wise at grandparents house these past few days. Other than chocolate. I don’t want to talk about that. But I will. My chocolate consumption has raised through the roof. Especially when fudge, pie, cupcakes, cookies, etc.etc.etc. all came out….that’s when the dark chocolate almonds somehow disappeared. And my clothes became covered in chocolate smudges. What else was I suppose to do?! Act like I didn’t want to eat the sh*t out of sugar cookies covered in cinnamon frosting? Now that’s a stupid lie. I need to cut myself off chocolate covered nuts. No but seriously. New year = no nuts. Ok, that ain’t gonna happen. It’s the thought that counts though.

The best way I’ve figured out to get away from all the chocolate has been to go to CrossFit gyms in the area. And when I say gyms, I mean one. CrossFit Deep Ellum was super welcoming so I’ve decided to wod there all week. There are so many gyms that I could check out here in Dallas, but I loved the space and the coaches so why think outside the box. GET IT? F*ck I’m clever. If you don’t get that, it’s cool. I still like you.

But coming to Texas to visit family has been fun. I got to meet some new baby twin cousins, chat with my other relatives, and talk about lifting heavy objects a lot. My family doesn’t quite understand what I do. Nor do they understand what a blog is. Or paleo. So they get bored talking to me pretty easily. What I have come to find though…my grandma really likes physical expression. What that means is she tends to poke, punch, pinch, slap, squeeze…really anything she can think of. She punched me in the stomach today. I don’t personally love that. My dad said she used to whip him with a switch when he was a kid. Then he went on to tell me that they tried to spank me as punishment and I just hit back. Sh*t yeah I did! Juli don’t take sh*t from no one. I also used to kick the doors when I was put in my room for time out. And carve my name into cabinets. And you wonder why I don’t do well with children. My poor parents.

I got this wonderful idea from The Clothes Make the Girl. It was my attempt to keep me away from cake balls…yeah…it didn’t work. I used figs instead of dates because I’m obsessed with dried figs right now. And I wanted it to feel like I was eating a fig newton. It didn’t. But it was pretty damn tasty.

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Paleo Fig Fudge Balls

Scale

Ingredients

  • 1 ½ cup raw cashews
  • 2 cups dried figs (any piece of the stem removed)
  • 3 tablespoon unsweetened shredded coconut
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 tablespoon honey
  • 4 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 teaspoon coarse sea salt (because it’s better than all other salts. period)

Instructions

  1. Take any of the leftover stem off your dried figs.
  2. Throw your figs and cashews in your food processor on high until you get a paste.
  3. Then add the rest of your ingredients. Taste to see if you need more salt. Everything taste better with salt. If you haven’t experienced the magic and sweet and salty, you have a childish palate. Naive I might even say. Turn on high again to mix well.
  4. Now use your hands to make balls any size you please. Top with course sea salt.
  5. Try not to eat all of them in one sitting. I did, but you shouldn’t.

 

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Oh, Hi! I’m Juli.

I’m a food hoarder. And a really bad dancer. If you don’t know me well, you will probably not understand my humor. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for listening to my ramblings of my ever-changing life and trusting my kitchen mishaps. Your trust in me is appreciated.

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37 thoughts on “Fig Fudge Balls”

  1. Pretty funny, I have a nut obsession too! I have tried to kick it but that didn't last a week. I always buy a new container of nuts and then wonder who ate them all a day late when they are gone lol! I don't feel so bad now and I'm not kicking myself as hard for caving to some holiday treats!

  2. People always feel bad when they crave stuff. It's normal. we live in a world filled with little Debbie snacks and cinnabons, like were not suppose to want it? Dumb. Might as well make something that makes us feel a bit better inside

  3. You are absolutely hilarious! I usually laugh out loud when I read your posts. Anyway, can't wait to try these (I say that about almost all your recipes… lol). Oh and just wanted to let you know, I tried the Bacon Chicken Alfredo recipe (with double the chicken) before Christmas and it was fanfreakingtastic! Also, had your Sweet Potato Gratin as one of my side dishes for Christmas dinner and everyone loved it! 🙂

  4. Thanks powercleanqueen!! I'm glad at least one person thinks I'm funny. Glad those other recipes turned out well! Those are a couple of my favorite!

  5. Oh I have eaten the Sh*t out of fudge babies over the break…those and dark chocolate and dark chocolate with sea salt…So I decided as soon as I got home that I was done…and here I am reading your post eating more fudge babies. Well, crap, at least I'm enjoying them! I have not tried them with figs yet though, interesting…I might have to give that a go with weekend. Thanks for the idea!

  6. Juli…A) You crack me up! (I love reading your blog:), and B) You have a sweet tooth…I have a sweet tooth.. which means WE are meant to be friends, oh wait we already are…word! I am absolutely trying this recipe, how could I not? nuts, chocolate, figs, WHAT! will let you know what I think on Sunday, when I get to see you…so excited:)

  7. Kate- why can't I stop either?! Pure addiction chocolate is. I like to act like if I was going on dates, I wouldn't eat as much. That's a lie though. I'm just glad I'm leaving Texas today so I stop eating everything in sight!

    Zanna- I hope you're bringing swwet treats for this nuggets game or I may be day dreaming of chocolate while men are bouncing balls everywhere. effing sports

  8. Made these last night… They. Are. All. Gone.
    I was so excited to eat them, that I didn’t read all of Instruction #5. Ooppppsssss
    Thanks for a super yummy recipe!!

  9. Made these today. Both father and son love them. Said they tasted like chocolate cookie dough. Winner!

  10. These are the bomb. I made them with almonds, and almond butter instead of the cashews and honey.. but kept the rest the same. I need to hide them somewhere so I can’t eat them ALL at once. Oh man. Must resist until after crossfit today. I’ve also got the chicken enchilada stew in the crockpot. So excited! Thank you for existing.

  11. You should add coffee grounds to your balls!! The ones I made tonight I like to call, “energy balls”
    The ingredients are all eyeballed:
    1. really soft figs; remove pits
    2. diary free chocolate chips
    3. shredded coconut unsweetened
    4. 2 heaping tablespoons of ground coffee
    5. cocoa powder
    6. raw almonds
    7. vanilla extract
    All in the food processor and then roll into balls and freeze for when you need them. AMAZING.

  12. OMG- don’t know whether to love you or hate you! I’ve wanted to make these for quite some time…finally did…YUM!! Plus- like the lady above, I’m thinking I could make lots of varieties on it…My mouth thanks you, not sure if the hips do, though!

  13. These were a hit- the -spot success tonight! I’ve been such a good paleo girl, but when I saw some organic dried figs in my local market, I figured I could find something primally delicious to make with them. I enjoyed THREE of them, with some Syrah ( that I made myself, from local grapes!) and it was the decadent treat I needed without feeling like a cheater cheater brownie eater. Thanks for sharing. And yeah….the sea salt definitely adds to the culinary experience!
    Lisa
    Northern CA

  14. Ok so I’m new to is paleo lifestyle, I’m going to my friends for dinner and I’m in charge of sweets so I made these and AW MAH GAWD!!!!!!!!! Totally amazing!!!!! I think I’m in love with you and if you wouldn’t mind moving to Australia and living with myself, my husband and our 3 kids, I’m sure we could make it work!!

  15. In your opinion which extract flavor would go best in these, in place of the vanilla. I have to unfortunately avoid vanilla. I have a big bag of organic dried figs and really want to make these. Thanks for your response. Love your recipes.

  16. So how exactly do you NOT eat them all in one sitting? These things are amazing and I had to leave out the vanilla (didn’t have any at home). So adding the vanilla next time will probably make them too good to be true!

  17. These are wonderful! What figs do you use? I ordered some mission figs……didn’t know I liked them until I found your recipe! Thank you!

  18. I used previously frozen organic figs from Costco. The consistency was too soft to make balls, but this turned out to be the best “pudding” EVER! I could eat the whole bowl.

  19. Hey Juli, Happy New Year! I have made these yummy things 4 or 5 times and they always come out great! We love them! Today I made two batches, the first according to the recipe, and the second I tried a couple of variations. In the second batch I used pecans instead of cashews and I added one packet of Starbucks instant coffee powder. They taste great, but the mixture was wet and actually kind of oily when I rolled them into balls. I seriously had liquid running down my arms. Why would this happen? Are pecans an oilier nut than cashews or almonds? (I have make this recipe with almonds too and it came out great.) Was it the instant coffee powder? Thanks for any insight you may provide. 🙂

    1. you know, i don’t think so just because they may be a little too wet to keep the balls together. but i haven’t tried so i can’t say for sure

  20. I follow the recipe but, sprinkled the balls lightly with Himalayan salt (all I had) and then rolled them in coconut and chocolate nibs… Yum!

  21. Just made these and my family loved them. I only have a mini food processor, so I had to mix in two batches, aand ended up kneading the dough like bread to incorporate the cocoa. I just rolled them in a bit of cocoa so they are sticky on the fingers. I might try a grown-up hostess gift version with amaretto or orange liqueur… Thanks for the recipe!

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