I know I said I wouldn’t be blogging much this week, but I lied. I couldn’t leave ya hangin now could I? That’d just be a dick move. So I am sitting in a Starbucks somewhere in Dallas, which only took me 45 minutes to find, just so I can blog about food. My dedication to food still somehow amazes me.
So I’ve held up pretty well paleo wise at grandparents house these past few days. Other than chocolate. I don’t want to talk about that. But I will. My chocolate consumption has raised through the roof. Especially when fudge, pie, cupcakes, cookies, etc.etc.etc. all came out….that’s when the dark chocolate almonds somehow disappeared. And my clothes became covered in chocolate smudges. What else was I suppose to do?! Act like I didn’t want to eat the sh*t out of sugar cookies covered in cinnamon frosting? Now that’s a stupid lie. I need to cut myself off chocolate covered nuts. No but seriously. New year = no nuts. Ok, that ain’t gonna happen. It’s the thought that counts though.
The best way I’ve figured out to get away from all the chocolate has been to go to CrossFit gyms in the area. And when I say gyms, I mean one. CrossFit Deep Ellum was super welcoming so I’ve decided to wod there all week. There are so many gyms that I could check out here in Dallas, but I loved the space and the coaches so why think outside the box. GET IT? F*ck I’m clever. If you don’t get that, it’s cool. I still like you.
But coming to Texas to visit family has been fun. I got to meet some new baby twin cousins, chat with my other relatives, and talk about lifting heavy objects a lot. My family doesn’t quite understand what I do. Nor do they understand what a blog is. Or paleo. So they get bored talking to me pretty easily. What I have come to find though…my grandma really likes physical expression. What that means is she tends to poke, punch, pinch, slap, squeeze…really anything she can think of. She punched me in the stomach today. I don’t personally love that. My dad said she used to whip him with a switch when he was a kid. Then he went on to tell me that they tried to spank me as punishment and I just hit back. Sh*t yeah I did! Juli don’t take sh*t from no one. I also used to kick the doors when I was put in my room for time out. And carve my name into cabinets. And you wonder why I don’t do well with children. My poor parents.
I got this wonderful idea from The Clothes Make the Girl. It was my attempt to keep me away from cake balls…yeah…it didn’t work. I used figs instead of dates because I’m obsessed with dried figs right now. And I wanted it to feel like I was eating a fig newton. It didn’t. But it was pretty damn tasty.
Paleo Fig Fudge Balls
Ingredients
- 1 ½ cup raw cashews
- 2 cups dried figs (any piece of the stem removed)
- 3 tablespoon unsweetened shredded coconut
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 tablespoon honey
- 4 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 teaspoon coarse sea salt (because it’s better than all other salts. period)
Instructions
- Take any of the leftover stem off your dried figs.
- Throw your figs and cashews in your food processor on high until you get a paste.
- Then add the rest of your ingredients. Taste to see if you need more salt. Everything taste better with salt. If you haven’t experienced the magic and sweet and salty, you have a childish palate. Naive I might even say. Turn on high again to mix well.
- Now use your hands to make balls any size you please. Top with course sea salt.
- Try not to eat all of them in one sitting. I did, but you shouldn’t.
______________
More Balls!!
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Protein Balls
______________
Click Here To Get All My PaleOMG Recipes Into Your Meal Planner With Real Plans!
I may be compensated through my affiliate links in this post, but all opinions are my own. This compensation helps with expenses to keep this blog up and running!
I just made 1/4 size batch. OMG! they are wonderful. Thank you!
These are the bomb. I made them with almonds, and almond butter instead of the cashews and honey.. but kept the rest the same. I need to hide them somewhere so I can’t eat them ALL at once. Oh man. Must resist until after crossfit today. I’ve also got the chicken enchilada stew in the crockpot. So excited! Thank you for existing.
You should add coffee grounds to your balls!! The ones I made tonight I like to call, “energy balls”
The ingredients are all eyeballed:
1. really soft figs; remove pits
2. diary free chocolate chips
3. shredded coconut unsweetened
4. 2 heaping tablespoons of ground coffee
5. cocoa powder
6. raw almonds
7. vanilla extract
All in the food processor and then roll into balls and freeze for when you need them. AMAZING.
OMG- don’t know whether to love you or hate you! I’ve wanted to make these for quite some time…finally did…YUM!! Plus- like the lady above, I’m thinking I could make lots of varieties on it…My mouth thanks you, not sure if the hips do, though!
These were a hit- the -spot success tonight! I’ve been such a good paleo girl, but when I saw some organic dried figs in my local market, I figured I could find something primally delicious to make with them. I enjoyed THREE of them, with some Syrah ( that I made myself, from local grapes!) and it was the decadent treat I needed without feeling like a cheater cheater brownie eater. Thanks for sharing. And yeah….the sea salt definitely adds to the culinary experience!
Lisa
Northern CA
Ok so I’m new to is paleo lifestyle, I’m going to my friends for dinner and I’m in charge of sweets so I made these and AW MAH GAWD!!!!!!!!! Totally amazing!!!!! I think I’m in love with you and if you wouldn’t mind moving to Australia and living with myself, my husband and our 3 kids, I’m sure we could make it work!!
In your opinion which extract flavor would go best in these, in place of the vanilla. I have to unfortunately avoid vanilla. I have a big bag of organic dried figs and really want to make these. Thanks for your response. Love your recipes.
almond
So how exactly do you NOT eat them all in one sitting? These things are amazing and I had to leave out the vanilla (didn’t have any at home). So adding the vanilla next time will probably make them too good to be true!
lol it’s tough work!
These are wonderful! What figs do you use? I ordered some mission figs……didn’t know I liked them until I found your recipe! Thank you!
SO DELISH!! Awesome recipe!