Wait, I need to tell you a back story real quick. So in college, this couple we knew were THE WORST couple. They fought all the time, seemed to hate each other, but stuck it out together. One night, under the influence of lots of alcohol, they got in a fight per usual. I think they broke up or something and in the middle of the street, he knelt down and pounded his fists on the ground screaming, “WHY GOD WHY?” I’m sure they got back together 40 seconds later, which makes that story even better. So if you ever see me saying, “WHY GOD WHY?!”…well, now you know why. Because that moment in my college life will never leave my memory. I can’t remember my what I ate for lunch yesterday, but I remember that drunken moment.

But back to the point, can football season just not happen this year? That would be pretty rad! Think of all the weekends we would have back! All the extra valuable moments I would get with my husband. All the extra Sundays we could do cool sh*t with. But no. Fall and winter are ruined with 4 hour games followed by more games. Followed by Monday night games. Which sucks extra bad since my husband works Monday – Saturday. Ughhhhhhh I hate football so muuuuuuuch. Why couldn’t I have fallen in love with a many who hated sports? No scratch that, hated football. What new hobby should I take up this winter on Sundays? And please don’t say knitting. I’ll be working out every Sunday from now on to at least do something, but then what? Work more? That seems lame for a Sunday. Help me, hobby people!

Maybe I should just start taking trips every weekend. Pretend that I’m made of money and just go anywhere that pops into my head. Is it weird that I’ve already started planning my 30th birthday and I’m only 28. I don’t even care that much about birthdays, but since people go all out for that one, I’m gonna do the same. It just gives me an excuse to plan a trip. And I want it to be awesome. So I need to plan now and pick where it’s going to be so I can start saving. People keep talking about me having babies and instead I keep saving money for my 30th birthday! Shut your face, baby pushers!!!

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Pineapple Chimichurri Guacamole

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5 from 5 reviews

  • Yield: 4-6 1x


  • 1/3 cup chimichurri (or whatever amount you prefer)
  • 2 avocados, mashed
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced
  • ½ jalapeno, minced
  • 1/2 red jalapeno, minced
  • ¼ red onion, minced
  • 23 tablespoon cilantro, minced
  • 1/2 teaspoon granulated garlic
  • ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • salt, to taste
  • juice of 1 lime
  • 1/2 cup cubed pineapple (make the pineapple into bite size pieces for easy dipping and eating)


  1. Make chimichurri then set in fridge to cool.
  2. Make guacamole. Mash the avocado then add garlic, jalapeños, red onion, cilantro, granulated garlic, cayenne pepper, salt and lime juice. Mix then taste to see if it needs any more salt.
  3. Fold in 1/3 cup chimichurri with the pineapple then place in the fridge to chill for 30+ minutes before serving. Or eat right there. You’re a grown up, you decide.

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PaleOMG Pineapple Chimichurri Guacamole


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  1. Julia M. says:

    Oh man I love you. FOOTBALL SEASON IS SO TERRIBLE. I think it has ruined fall for me. Football and instagram pics of girls in blanket scarves throwing leaves in the air with the hashtag #pumpkinspiceeverything. Honestly the high point of football is it’s an excuse to make the sticky wings from your cookbook. Sole highlight, the rest is terrible, especially when I think of how much money football players are making to go out there and concuss one another.

    Anyways, I completely cackled at your mention of “THAT” couple bc I think every person on earth knows one of those couples. When I think of all of the time at parties in college spent negotiating their arguments like a goddamned hostage situation… the worst (and they got married in the end… and divorced, obviously).

    And the baby pushers need to HUSH. Just get more frenchies and call it a day for now – and I say that from a position of authority as someone who has both a kid AND a frenchie. Only one of those two actually likes sleeping (not the kid).

  2. Jeannine says:

    I like football but my husband is obsessed. He wants to watch Red Zone all day on Sunday. I mean ALL DAY. It starts at 1pm and doesn’t end until 8 (it hops around from game to game with zero commercials). And then he wants to watch the Sunday night game. This is after watching college football all day on Saturday. I’m over it by the 2nd week of the season.
    It is also not weird that you are already planning your 30th! I went on a cruise for mine and it made turning 30 easier by being out of the country and away from reality. Enjoy!!! 🙂

  3. Ashley says:

    I am SO glad I am not the only one who HATESSSSS football, and I am in the south , and i just cant get into it, anywayyy bought your cookbook,
    and i LOVE it!! you have made paleo so easy and delish for me and my hubs( who is super picky) cant wait to cook through it! the fish tacos were to
    DIE for!

    1. juli says:

      woooohoooo! so glad you’re loving the book!

  4. Kateryna says:

    OMG, agree with football comments! We don’t watch it, but it is so annoying how everyone else is obsessed with it! Also not weird to plan your 30th waaay in advance: I planned my 30th since I was 26 – I celebrated in Paris this year 🙂

  5. Bec says:

    This is amazing – love the pineapple in it – and I’m going to go look up the chimichurri now. – Great brunch ideas!

  6. Cassie says:

    Oh golly, don’t even start with me on football season. It’s why I don’t watch sports haha! But I just go to the parties for the guacamole–NO JOKE.