After CrossFitting for the past 3 years, I have learned the following:
- Nothing really ever gets easier. Movements get better, muscles get stronger, and the brain learns how to push through some of the pain, but it never actually gets easier. Blasphemy.
- Tall socks don’t actually protect your shins from box jump spills.
- Shin scars don’t go away.
- Taping your hands constantly doesn’t strengthen your calluses. Doing more pull ups does.
- I never will have soft hands.
- Guys with soft hands freak me out.
- Pants will never fit the same.
- No matter how much I squat, cellulite never goes away. NEVER
- Working out without a headband is awful. Super awful.
- Placing your box up against a wall doesn’t keep the box from moving while doing box jumps. It’s creates a blockade for your face to eat sh*t into when you trip on a box jump. Trust me on this one, I found out yesterday. And have the bump on my forehead to prove it. Stupidity at it’s finest.
Guess what? I was in three magazines recently! Those poor magazines. WodTalk Magazine , BoxLife Magazine and Confluence Denver asked me some questions, and I answered. Which is frightening because I have no clue what I really said in any of them. You’ve read my blog, you know how random I am. Depending on my day, my state of mind, and what time of the month it is, my explanations on situations could always be different. Which is, once again, frightening.
Wanna see my cousin and I at her bridal shower? Of course you do, she’s good looking.
So I’ve figured something out. I’m not into bridal stuff. No offense Katie, I love you. And fully support your bride happiness. I’m just not into all the parties, all the gifts, all the tears, all that normal stuff that occurs pre-wedding. It doesn’t feel natural to me. Which is strange because I picked my wedding dress out in a magazine with my first boyfriend (Skyler) at the age of six, behind the tire swing. He then went on to chase me around the playground, while I screamed until I peed myself. My bladder control was less than stellar back in my child days. Long story short, our relationship didn’t last into my seventh year of life. Was it because of my small bladder? I’ll never know. However, my optimism for love lasted until about 21 years of age, then the white dress, bright flowers, and spending outrageous amounts of money on one day just seemed to lose its sparkle.
And no, I did not just admit to the age I lost my virginity at. Perve.
I just don’t think the big show is for me. And I like attention. I write a blog about myself for gosh sakes. But if I like someone enough to marry them, I don’t really want to do all that. I want to go somewhere tropical, wear minimal clothing, and make out with him. Friends should come so we can drink and eat on the beach. I do want a cake, but that’s a given. Who the hell doesn’t want a wedding cake? Oh I know who, those cupcake people. Ugh.
I love these freaking burgers. Like, LOVE.
Pineapple Stuffed Chorizo Burgers
- Yield: 4-5 1x
Ingredients
- 1 pound chorizo
- 0.5 pounds ground beef
- 1/2 of a whole pineapple
- 1 sweet potato or yam, thinly sliced
- 2 avocados
- juice of 1/2 a lime
- juice of 1/2 a lemon
- pinch of cayenne pepper
- salt and pepper, to taste
- 2–3 tablespoons of coconut oil
- 2 tablespoons bacon fat
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- First, get the pineapple ready. Cut the pineapple in half. Cut off the end, then slice the sides off (you are just trying to get rid of the hard skin). Once the skin is off, cut slices of the pineapple into 1/4 inch slices (thin enough to place insides a burger). Use your knife to cut out a circle in the middle of your pineapple slice to remove the hard core. You will need 4-5 slices.
- Now place the thinly sliced sweet potatoes or yam in a bowl along with the thin pineapple. Coat with coconut oil and a sprinkle of salt. Place on a parchment lined baking sheet, baking sure not to overlap. Put in oven to bake for 10-12 minutes, flipping half way through. The pineapple way cook a bit quicker and you may need to remove it before the sweet potatoes.
- While that is cooking, place the chorizo and ground beef in a bowl and mix well. Use the mixture to make 8 equal size balls. You could make 10 (to create 5 burgers) but they might not hold together as well. Flatten balls out into patties.
- Then you’ll want to make the avocado topping. Cut avocados in half, remove pits, and use a spoon to scoop out the avocado. Place in a food processor along the the lime, lemon, cayenne pepper, and a bit of salt and pepper. Puree until smooth.
- Once the pineapple is done cooking, let cool then place on top of one of your patties, place the second patty on top and use your fingers to seal up the burger, pinching the edges a few times. The more you make sure it is closed up, the better they will stick together when you cook them. Repeat with all burgers. Salt both sides of your burgers.
- Place a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add a couple tablespoons of bacon fat to the pan. Once the pan is extra hot, add the burgers to the pan, making sure not to crowd the pan so you get a nice crust on the burgers. Cook for 4-5 minutes per side.
- Once burgers have cooked on both sides, place in the oven either in your skillet or on a baking sheet. Bake for 6-8 minutes.
- When burgers on done, place on top of a stack of sweet potato slices, then top with the avocado puree.
- Beauty.
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You May Also Like:
Grilled Sweet & Spicy Pineapple Pork Chops
Bacon Chorizo Chipotle Smothered Meatloaf
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LOL this post made me laugh! Recipe looks yummy!
These burgers sound amazing!! You are absolutely right about the knee socks! They do not save your shins…only soak up the blood and hide the previous bruises!! Stupid box jumps!
1. I HATE box jumps. I’ve been cross fitting for 3 years and I swear the fear just gets worse. I’ve regressed to the point where I can only do them if I stack up bumper plates. I’m like paralyzed with fear with the box because I’m so afraid to fall.
2. My wedding cake was chocolate cake with peanut butter mouse and fresh banana filling. It was a pretty rad combo! But yeah other than that weddings really aren’t all they’re hyped up to be.
1. Juli, I absolutely love your blog and your recipes! I can soooo relate to you! Keep all the good food and stories coming, please.
2. Weddings are so over-rated! Mine wasn’t that big or fancy, we got married outside next to the lake where we spent a lot of time while we were dating. It was still daunting, though. Too much stuff, too many people. I like the beach idea way better.
3. Girls with calluses rock!
yup. you just described me to a T re wedding. basically i would just want a vacay with friends and roast a pig or something!
mmmm roasted pig…
I’m engaged and that’s what we’re doing. Getting married in the backyard and having a pig roast! We’re only inviting family so it should be a small shindig, but it’s amazing how much stuff there is to do to plan it anyway. Ugh!
We’re in our late 30’s so I get to skip the shower. I don’t feel like it would be polite to ask people to shop for me when I am well established. So, no registry! One less thing to do!
One girlfriend wants to have a bachelorette party for me… a chocolate tasting. I don’t think I’ll be able to turn that down 🙂
I’m new to paleo and usually very picky about food, but I’m trying to branch out. What kind of Chorizo? I even googled it cause I didn’t know what it is…there are like 10 different kinds. Does it matter? Thanks!
Ummmm this looks delicious!
I read your posts almost everyday, or at least just look to see what the recipe is. I’m from Canada and just came to the states for a quick trip. I always hear you raving about Whole Foods, and ohhmaagawdddd I’m in love with that store!!
Juli,
Do you make your own chorizo or buy it? I usually buy it from my local carniceria (mexican meat market). I know it’s freshly made but I don’t know if the products they use are paleo friendly.
I’ve only been crossfitting a year now, but have already learned everything on your list. Box jumps=eat shit. Every.time.
Also, I made your sweet potato brownies last weekend, and yesterday when I went to get some, my husband had eaten the entire pan, and left me the smallest piece ever. So nice of him.
Hey juli,
I love your blog. I have a lot of trouble finding chorizo. What would you recommend, certain brands or things I should look for on the packaging?
THanks!