After CrossFitting for the past 3 years, I have learned the following:
- Nothing really ever gets easier. Movements get better, muscles get stronger, and the brain learns how to push through some of the pain, but it never actually gets easier. Blasphemy.
- Tall socks don’t actually protect your shins from box jump spills.
- Shin scars don’t go away.
- Taping your hands constantly doesn’t strengthen your calluses. Doing more pull ups does.
- I never will have soft hands.
- Guys with soft hands freak me out.
- Pants will never fit the same.
- No matter how much I squat, cellulite never goes away. NEVER
- Working out without a headband is awful. Super awful.
- Placing your box up against a wall doesn’t keep the box from moving while doing box jumps. It’s creates a blockade for your face to eat sh*t into when you trip on a box jump. Trust me on this one, I found out yesterday. And have the bump on my forehead to prove it. Stupidity at it’s finest.
Guess what? I was in three magazines recently! Those poor magazines. WodTalk Magazine , BoxLife Magazine and Confluence Denver asked me some questions, and I answered. Which is frightening because I have no clue what I really said in any of them. You’ve read my blog, you know how random I am. Depending on my day, my state of mind, and what time of the month it is, my explanations on situations could always be different. Which is, once again, frightening.
Wanna see my cousin and I at her bridal shower? Of course you do, she’s good looking.
So I’ve figured something out. I’m not into bridal stuff. No offense Katie, I love you. And fully support your bride happiness. I’m just not into all the parties, all the gifts, all the tears, all that normal stuff that occurs pre-wedding. It doesn’t feel natural to me. Which is strange because I picked my wedding dress out in a magazine with my first boyfriend (Skyler) at the age of six, behind the tire swing. He then went on to chase me around the playground, while I screamed until I peed myself. My bladder control was less than stellar back in my child days. Long story short, our relationship didn’t last into my seventh year of life. Was it because of my small bladder? I’ll never know. However, my optimism for love lasted until about 21 years of age, then the white dress, bright flowers, and spending outrageous amounts of money on one day just seemed to lose its sparkle.
And no, I did not just admit to the age I lost my virginity at. Perve.
I just don’t think the big show is for me. And I like attention. I write a blog about myself for gosh sakes. But if I like someone enough to marry them, I don’t really want to do all that. I want to go somewhere tropical, wear minimal clothing, and make out with him. Friends should come so we can drink and eat on the beach. I do want a cake, but that’s a given. Who the hell doesn’t want a wedding cake? Oh I know who, those cupcake people. Ugh.
I love these freaking burgers. Like, LOVE.
Pineapple Stuffed Chorizo Burgers
- Yield: 4-5 1x
Ingredients
- 1 pound chorizo
- 0.5 pounds ground beef
- 1/2 of a whole pineapple
- 1 sweet potato or yam, thinly sliced
- 2 avocados
- juice of 1/2 a lime
- juice of 1/2 a lemon
- pinch of cayenne pepper
- salt and pepper, to taste
- 2–3 tablespoons of coconut oil
- 2 tablespoons bacon fat
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- First, get the pineapple ready. Cut the pineapple in half. Cut off the end, then slice the sides off (you are just trying to get rid of the hard skin). Once the skin is off, cut slices of the pineapple into 1/4 inch slices (thin enough to place insides a burger). Use your knife to cut out a circle in the middle of your pineapple slice to remove the hard core. You will need 4-5 slices.
- Now place the thinly sliced sweet potatoes or yam in a bowl along with the thin pineapple. Coat with coconut oil and a sprinkle of salt. Place on a parchment lined baking sheet, baking sure not to overlap. Put in oven to bake for 10-12 minutes, flipping half way through. The pineapple way cook a bit quicker and you may need to remove it before the sweet potatoes.
- While that is cooking, place the chorizo and ground beef in a bowl and mix well. Use the mixture to make 8 equal size balls. You could make 10 (to create 5 burgers) but they might not hold together as well. Flatten balls out into patties.
- Then you’ll want to make the avocado topping. Cut avocados in half, remove pits, and use a spoon to scoop out the avocado. Place in a food processor along the the lime, lemon, cayenne pepper, and a bit of salt and pepper. Puree until smooth.
- Once the pineapple is done cooking, let cool then place on top of one of your patties, place the second patty on top and use your fingers to seal up the burger, pinching the edges a few times. The more you make sure it is closed up, the better they will stick together when you cook them. Repeat with all burgers. Salt both sides of your burgers.
- Place a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add a couple tablespoons of bacon fat to the pan. Once the pan is extra hot, add the burgers to the pan, making sure not to crowd the pan so you get a nice crust on the burgers. Cook for 4-5 minutes per side.
- Once burgers have cooked on both sides, place in the oven either in your skillet or on a baking sheet. Bake for 6-8 minutes.
- When burgers on done, place on top of a stack of sweet potato slices, then top with the avocado puree.
- Beauty.
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You May Also Like:
Grilled Sweet & Spicy Pineapple Pork Chops
Bacon Chorizo Chipotle Smothered Meatloaf
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Made this for dinner tonight-It was fantastic & the Mr. Who isn’t at all Paleo loved it
Box jumps suck. Nuff said. I got 5 stitches from a box jump a month ago and it still hurts at times. Also I’m extremely curious….why IS it that pants don’t fit the same after crossfitting? I keep thinking I’m getting fatter or something….
Maria,
The biggest muscles in your body are in your butt and legs… When you work out, especially CF, these muscles grow… a LOT. You’ll gain weight and your pants will not fit you. Muscles weight more than fat. You will see a difference in your waist and upper body though.
Oh thank you so much for explaining that! Well I’ll embrace the fact that my pants are tighter then!
This look so delicious! I can’t wait to try it!
One of your best posts ever…like Taylor Swift ever (quoted shamelessly from Jessica of “How Sweet It Is”).
I had one of those ginormous wedding extravaganzas over …get ready…27 years ago…and, while I did enjoy it and feel like “Princess-for-a-Day”…really all that people tend to take away from it was how great the cake was and if there was a free bar. The cost justification for the dress alone demands reflection…luckily I inherited my Mom’s fabu dress from the fifties.
I hope my daughter stops inquiring about “How Much Money I’ve Saved ” for her future marriage!..I actually prefer the beach with cake and good people.
Sorry for the ramble…but could one use Portuguese Linguiça instead of chorizo? I have a feeling this recipe will help lure my non-paleo husband to what Paleo cuisine can really be. Here…the “yum” factor is blatantly apparent.
Julie, I am 53 years young and love your blog! Every day I anticipate what you are going to write about!
I love your spirit, your love of food, life in general. Quit putting yourself down. You are a beautiful woman and I bet that I am not the only one to tell you this!
As for marriage, it is all that it’s cracked up to be if you find the right person, commit yourself to the long haul and know that there are times when you want to leave but you hang in there. I have been married for 24 years this year and if you told me that when I was 20 I would have laughed in your face. I got married right before my 30th birthday and I am so glad that I waited. It is worth it.
Take care and blog on! You are the best!
Winnie Garrett
sorry about the misspelling of your name! forgive me!
Love your blog, even though it makes want to work out and eat ALL day.
I never have been a ‘wedding’ girl, and never thought about it until I got engaged. I had 3 goals that made our (not my) wedding the best party of my life:
1. Have fun
2. Open bar
3. Let everything else go.
People are still raving about how fun it was.
Donna, this Donna thinks we are twins. I was just dreaming of using linguica with this….but sadly, a dream is all it is, since I live in AZ. Chorizo is as close as I can get…..insert sad face here. Gosh how I miss it!!
I feel like I am the only guy who looks at your blog reguarly. I love your recipes! They are always so easy to make and delicious! By the time I get home from work and the gym it’s usually close to 8pm so I need these kind of recipes. Your little write ups crack me up too.. and here I am trying to lotion and grind down my callouses to make my hands soft.. shame on me…
i actually know at least 2 more guys that read my blog, so thankfully, you’re not alone. don’t grind those puppies down, be proud! thanks for reading my blog regularly kevin 🙂 you’re the best
#3 Right Huuur!
#4 Right Huuur!
Hi Juli! I just came across your blog recently (I think I know someone who liked your facebook page??) and I think you’re hilarious! Although I’m not a regular crossfitter, I have done those workouts a couple times and I workout regularly. All of your workout comments are totally true! I am a huge clutz when it comes to box jumps and I have fallen/tripped/missed the box on several occasions, one of them being falling straight on my ass in a very big, crowded gym during prime time….needless to say I have the scars to prove it and yes, they do NOT go away! lol I am not a 100% paleo eater but I do try to eat whole foods most of the time and (try to minimize) less sugar. I will def use this recipe in the near future. thanks!