Dreams are so weird. Well, mine are. Since I’m really weird. I had almost a nightmare the other night. Let’s psychological babble this stuff out. Ok, so Laura went out on the town on Saturday night. As did I, BUT I got home by midnight. So I passed out far before she got home. So when I heard her come back in the house, I woke up for a brief second then passed back out. Well I’m guessing this little awakening led me into a frightening dream. Here we go. So I dreamt that Laura came in the house with 5 or 6 friends, I got nervous they would come into my room so I got up, ran to my bedroom door to shut it, then fell head first into my hamper, butt.ass.naked. All her friends saw and stared at my bum and the goods as I flailed around hoping to get out of the hamper. Thank god none of this ever happened.
After all this jazz of a dream occurred, I woke up. And I woke up with a vengeance. I woke up choking. I think I literally scared the air out of myself. Straight up no air into my lungs. I couldn’t breathe. I sounded like a bugel horn. I don’t know what that sounds like. But that’s how I imagine it. Took me about 30 seconds to be able to breathe again. Then I sat there, frightened by the sound of myself, on the end of my bed, wondering what the f*ck just happened.
That story sucked.
I figured something out. Something I kind of already knew. Whole Foods on a Sunday night. OMGhotdudes. I stood in line and pretty much checked the guy out behind me approximately 46 times, none of which he noticed. I suck. I see why all the women in Whole Foods wear heels while at the store. They’re on the prowl. I need to work on what I dress myself in. I had a headband on, with spandex, no makeup, searching for some sort of delicious source of fat. That wasn’t covered in chocolate. I miss you chocolate. Only 3 more weeks.
OMG I’m excited to find out what the 3rd wod is for the CrossFit Open!! Are you?!
Sticky Apple Bars
- Yield: 4-6 1x
Ingredients
Crust
- 12 medjool dates, pits removed
- 1 cup almond butter
- 1/4 cup honey
- 1/4 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
- 1/2 cup coconut butter
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
For the toppings
- 3 apples, cored and thinly sliced
- 3 tablespoons coconut oil
- 1/2 cup walnuts, roughly chopped
- 1/4 cup honey
- 2 tablespoons coconut butter
- pinch of cinnamon
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- First make your crust. Add all ingredients for the crust to a food processor. (you may need to heat up your coconut butter)
- Put crust ingredients in an 8×8 or 9×9 glass baking dish, press down until evenly distributed.
- Now heat up a large skillet under medium heat. Add your coconut oil then your sliced apples.
- Once apples begin to become soft, add your walnuts. Be sure to continuously stir so the apples and walnuts do not burns.
- Once apples are wilted, add your honey and coconut cream concentrate along with cinnamon and salt.
- When all ingredients are incorporated, pour mixture on top of crust and press flat. Put in the fridge to harden for 30-45 minutes.
- Cut into squares and serve!!
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Too Hot for the Oven Yo:
No Bake Chocolate Chip Cream Bars
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Sneaking paleo into party settings is not always easy, but this one takes the cake. My 2yr old was crying because the bars/mixture by the end was gone. I am making another crust just for fun. I will tell you, I used peaches and apples on the first round….peaches were the winning fruit for me!
I really want to try all your treat recipes because I’m a fanatical baker (I love making things for other people even more than myself!) but I am not a fan of coconut in the slightest. Is there something I could sub in these recipes for coconut? Already tried a few dinner recipes and they have been DELICIOUS!
HOLY HELL! These were amazing & made me even cooler than I already am! Thank you thank you thank you for sharing your ingenious creations! 🙂
Oops! I meant cooler because I gave them to all my friends and they also fell in love and thought I was amazing for making them!
You are seriously the best Paleo recipe maker of them all!! I LOVE your recipes!! I’m so glad you are doing a cookbook, I’ll be first in line to buy one 🙂
Holy crap these are good. I just finished my introductory 30 day paleo detox and these are the treats I made for my wife and I. They are fabulous. I have been eyeing all your treats for the past 2 weeks. I think I will try one per week. Don’t want to go overboard.
These are awesome, everyone should make these! Plus they’re super easy!
My girlfriend had these served at her wedding last night. They were to die for! My entire drive to the wedding I was justifying why i got to eat wedding cake (that I hadn’t even eaten yet..). Well they didn’t even have a wedding cake, just a bunch of AMAZING paleo and non-paleo homemade treats. I was in heaven. I can’t wait to make this at home!
I just read this and I’m at work so I was trying to hold in my laugh and so then I just exploded with laughter out of nowhere. So thanks for making me look crazy, thanks for making me laugh all the time and thanks for all your recipes. You make eating paleo easy and so good!
I made this the first time with half figs and half dates because I only had 6 dates. I took it to work as a treat, and my coworkers LOVED it. The second time, I used the recipe for your topping, but used the crust from a Magic Coconut Bars recipe:
3/4 cup almond flour/meal (I make my own and like it a little coarse)
3/4 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon honey
1/4 cup coconut oil
It gave me just enough crunch, but was tough enough to withstand the weight from the apple mixture! Both versions were spectacular. Thanks!!