Life should always include a lemonade in hand when sunshine is a blazin’ during summertime festivities. And when I say festivities, I mean anything you do throughout the day. Workout out – lemonade. Going to the bathroom – lemonade. Walking the dog – lemonade. Yelling at the kids while they ruin the house since they are home from school for the summer – lemonade.
Speaking of kids, over the weekend I went to a BBQ that included all friends that either have children or are pregnant. For me, a person that has no yearning to have children at the moment, I still enjoy talking to people about their kids. I like hearing their different experiences, their ups and downs, the love for their children. I like hearing all of it. What I do not like is when they start hounding me about making babies, even after I say I’m not ready. Or tell me that my husband isn’t getting any younger. It makes me not want to have children even more, just to spite them. I just hate when people act like having children isn’t a big deal. It’s a big f*cking deal. And to someone like me, it’s a very scary deal. I just wish I had more friends that understood that, or at least respected it.
Sorry to get all deep on ya today. These situations just continue to happen and that anxiety weighs pretty heavy on me for a few days after it’s brought up. And it just feels like the weight is completely on me. Whenever these friends bring up having kids or are pushing me to have kids, it feels so disingenuous. Not like they hope I have kids to experience a love that is so incredibly pure, but instead, they hope I have kids so they have someone to commiserate with. That’s what it honestly feels like, whether it’s true or not. It’s just a weird time in my life that feels so private but so in the spotlight at the same time. It’s a weird place to be in as a woman.
Instead, I want to concentrate on a fun trip coming up. My husband has been wanting to rent a house for the whole family for a little family vacation for quite some time now. And we finally decided on Mexico. This won’t be until next year, but it’s still exciting to look forward to. If I was having a baby, we probably wouldn’t go there. Ya know, Zica and kidnappings and all that jazz. But since I’m without child and don’t plan on being with child, we can all go. And I can go to Aspen in a couple weeks. And the Caribbean in August. And I can also drink lemonade in a quiet house, filled with simple puppy snores. Seems like a pretty good deal to me. But who am I to judge? I’m the old 29 year old married woman that still isn’t pregnant. What do I know.
I just thought about what it must be like reading my blog for the first time, knowing nothing about me. Tough one to walk into. But I promise I’m positive 34% of the time!
Strawberry Peach Lemonade
- Yield: 6-8 1x
Ingredients
- 2 cups roughly chopped strawberries
- 2 cups roughly chopped peaches
- 3/4 cup raw honey
- 1/2 cup water
- 2 cups fresh lemon juice (about 6–8 large lemons)
- 6 cups water
Instructions
- Place strawberries, peaches, honey and 1/2 cup water in a medium saucepan over medium heat and let reduce for 10 minutes. Let cool for another 10 minutes then place in a high speed blender and blend until completely combined.
- Strain mixer through a sieve into a large pitcher and then add lemon and 6 cups of water. Mix to combined then place in the fridge to cool completely.
- Serve lemonade over ice!
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I have never commented before but had to weigh in today about all the unsolicited kid comments! My husband and I are now expecting our first. We’ve been married 9 years this month and I’m 33. And we waited till we were good and ready! We had a lot of goals – like my finishing my Ph.D and doing lots of travel and Crossfit and getting a dog (and we still have lots of goals!). And you know what? The timing is just right for us. It’s a HUGE life change and everyone has to do it when it’s right for them. But people asked us a lot too, and I hated it. It’s incredibly frustrating that people ask these kinds of questions or just plain give you advice once you hit a “certain age,” and of course, as the woman, you bear the brunt of their nosiness! That was so tough for me too, and I hope you’ll be able to have confidence in your decisions and all of the incredible things you’re doing in your life and tell them so. You don’t have to justify or explain anything. Do your thing girl!!!
People are jerks about having children. Seriously. I don’t understand it. It’s none of their business and if, IF you guys decide to have children, it will be pretty obvious. We were married more than 10 years before we had children, and now that we do- I NEVER ask anyone about it. Plus, I just think it’s rude- maybe you desperately want children and one of you can’t, the reason doesn’t really matter- it’s just no one’s business. People need to shut up about it. And this coming from someone who loves her children, loves being pregnant and birthing (yes! It’s amazing. And sometimes awful- and I was TERRIFIED of it before I got pregnant). Anyway, I’m rambling now- but I am trying to say that I sympathize and I think people can be jerks. And thoughtless. And I apologize for their lack of humanity.
I have posted here before that I am childless by choice. My choice. “None of your business,” is what I say to them. The only thing I can tell you is that at a certain point and/or age, people will stop asking and/or tire of getting the same answer from you. It’s a beautiful day when that happens. Until then, enjoy their children and give them back when you go home.
Stick to your guns. My twin sister and I both have different agendas and she has been married for almost 7 years and they still do not have kids. They absolutely plan on it, but the timing is not right yet. Right now we are trying because it’s wher emy husband and so are. We are 30!!! It’s ok to live your life and I applaud you for that! Enjoy your time with your husband and win Jackson, and do you!
Juli – you do you. And you look good doing you. As a single 29 year old I experience a whole lot of other questions… and sympathies which I never asked for! UGH
And thank you for putting together a non alcoholic beverage .. seems like so many bloggers ignore my part of the world that doesn’t drink! It’s often frustrating so I appreciate you!!!!!
you can easily make any of my alcoholic beverages virgin simply by removing the alcohol!
I made the decision to be childless in my early teens, and although I was told that I was too young and that I would change my mind later here we are years later and I have not changed my mind. Thankfully my mother understood, unfortunately my older brother did not. I am now in my late 30’s, married with zero thoughts of children and my dear brother still bugs me about making him an uncle.
At first I had a tough time with the endless comments and questions….I even had a person once tell me that I was basically going against God by not having children!! That one was tough, people can really be mean 🙁
I started telling people that I am way too selfish about my own time and energy to have children, and that seemed to cut them off, like they just had no response for me admitting that I was selfish. I’m finally at a point where my inner circle (other than my brother) stopped asking me about children and it’s wonderful!
Whatever you decide to do, people will find a way to comment. Have kids, don’t have kids, have kids too early or too late in life, no matter what you will get comments about it. That’s life, luckily you have super yummy lemonade to sip on as you mentally roll your eyes at their comments 😉
You’re so funny and honest and REAL, Juli!!! Thanks for that. I’m a 42-y.o. woman who never wanted to trade my freedom for a kid, so I can identify and offer support with what you’re feeling. Every decision has positive and negative results, but you’re wise enough to know that. You’re the best, thanks for being you. XO.
Hi Juli! I am 33 and we are childless by choice. I can say that in the last year or so people have finally stopped asking me about it as much. I hope it gets easier for you. I like dogs. No little people that need me 24/7/365 until death. That sounds scary as hell.
Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or less than for not having children according to their schedules. I’m childfree by choice and plan to remain that way. I’m almost 31, amazingly pleased with the life I’ve built for myself, and thankful to report that *most* of the “when are you going to have children?!” comments have stopped, at least from the people who know me well. Having kids is a HUGE decision that not a lot of people seem to give a second thought to and just do it by default because it’s “expected” of them or some damn thing. I loathe that mindset and though I have no qualms with people who genuinely want kids, I always cheer (at least in my mind if not out loud) when I hear stories like yours or those from people who have chosen not to procreate at all. Someone waiting until they’re ready or not wanting kids at all!? What a novel fucking concept! I say good for you. If you have kids one day when you want them, that’s awesome, and if you decide you never do, that’s also awesome! It’s your body, your life, your journey. There is so much more in this world to define yourself by beyond your parental status and so much you can contribute beyond raising children, but many people seem to lose sight of this, especially once they’ve had kids of their own. There are people out there who are open-minded and respectful of that though, even if they’re few and far between. I hope you find more of them and until then, keep doing what’s best for YOU, and keep kicking out awesome recipes!
I think maybe it’s partly a geographic / work thing – I am 32, live in Boston, work in a corporate office with a bunch of other child-less 30-somethings and no one ever asks me shit 🙂
I also feel like it’s rude to ask in general . What if the person really wants kids and has been trying and is having trouble? Or just had a miscarriage?
Also my BF and I met this couple in their 60s on our last vaca. They had no kids and had travelled all over the world together. Goals!
big time goals