Haha. Whip.
You all are going to hate me. And judge me. I know it, I just know it. I kind of cheated. Well, not kind of, I did. I drank alcohol. And alcohol isn’t exactly allowed on the 21 day sugar detox. Oopsies poopsies. Ok let’s talk about why I gave in.
Sergio leaves for Afghanistan in 2 weeks. He’s also an assh*le and said that if he dies, this would be the last time we drank together. It’s not funny, but his humor blows. Give him a break. I’m kidding, I love him. So when I showed up to the bar for Sergio’s ‘see you next year’ bash, he handed me 3 shots of Grey Goose. Yes, three. Yes, I took them. Yes, my stomach was a bit woozy. But the night went wonderfully. Like, OMG good. As soon as 4 shots hit my stomach, the music finally got better. Amazing. The DJ remixed ‘Call Me Maybe’ with ‘Feel So Close’. Yeah. It was awesome. And if you don’t know those two songs, google them then imagine them making love and having a child out of wedlock. Pretty awesome.
When I got home, I drunkenly ate carrot chips. So dedicated to paleo. I got jokes! Anywho, I thankfully don’t feel guilty about it. My friend is going to Afghanistan for 6 months, I wasn’t going to be a complete douche and not drink because I’m sugar detoxing. That’s just dumb to me. And you know what, I had the best night I’ve had in a looong time. Yes, I could have danced without alcohol ruining my liver and increasing my ass size, but then I would have noticed the people staring on with offended eyes. And that would have been just embarrassing.
I left the bar literally soaking in sweat. I could even ring out the sweat from my hair. That’s a good way to get the guys. Make yourself look like a wet poodle. I was a living poodle.
Disclaimer: Drinking is bad for you. And vodka isn’t paleo. Don’t be bad.
It’s funny how I hate sports but I love the Olympics.
I watched 4 movies this weekend. By myself. I need to find a man. Damn poodles.
Oh by the way, I swear this cake isn’t as dry as it looks. I swear!
Sugar Detox Pumpkin Cake in a Mug with Chocolate Whip
- Yield: 1 1x
Ingredients
For your cake
- 1 tablespoon pumpkin puree
- 1.5 tablespoons coconut flour
- 1 egg + 1 egg white
- 1 tablespoon coconut oil
- 2 tablespoons canned coconut milk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
For your chocolate whip
- 1 tablespoon coconut butter
- 1 tablespoon canned coconut milk
- 1 teaspoon sunbutter (or nut butter)
- 1 teaspoon unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Mix everything in a mug!
- Put it in the microwave for 1:30-2:30 minutes!
- While your cake cooks, mix together your chocolate whip!
- Once your cake is done (let it cool because that sh*t gets hot) and top with your chocolate whip!
- YAY sugar detox! (exclamation!)
Notes
Not on the sugar detox? Lucky. Add honey or maple syrup!
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More Sugar Detox Recipes:
Sugar Detox Cinnamon Sweet Potato Ice Cream with Toasted Walnuts
Crockpot Sugar Detox Dessert Stuffed Apples
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I cheated too! I ate chocolate whilst watching Batman. I had to. The movie made me do it.
And this is what I can do with my remaining pumpkin puree. Amazin’.
Also, I hope you have a foodsaver thingy so you can ship Sergio lots of yummy foods!
I’ve got that task coming up in 3 months and if you make any awesome “bulk” recipes, I’d love you even harder. 🙂
This looks amazingly yummy and yay for a fun night! I cheated too and drank too much wine over the weekend…at least my drunk food was eggs and shrimp!
I really just want to be your best friend. It might be creepy but I talk about you as if I know you sometimes “Oh did you see what Juli posted today?!”….yeah, I swear I have real friends too.
Looks amazing! But, I have a question for you..how do you keep your canned coconut milk from going bad? I’ve tried to keep mine in the fridge for a few days, but it just ends up looking disgusting. I hate wasting half the can. Any suggestions?
just put it in an air tight container and it will keep for a week!
I freeze mine if I know I won’t use it within a week. Sometimes I put the extra in an ice cube tray so that I can defrost only what I need. The texture looks a bit different after it’s been frozen/thawed but once you stir it really good and use it your recipe, it’s fine
this is a brilliant idea! my coconut milk either goes bad or I find myself making endless curries with the leftovers.
Coconut milk has never lasted more than 3 days in my fridge, so I know nothing about it going bad! lol Just add this sh*t to anything and everything! And full fat coconut milk in coffee is heaven. just saying.
I AM JUDGING YOU FOR DRINKING. No I’m not. Seriously, who would do that?
Also, I agree with Karli. I’m kind of a big Paleo deal on Pinterest because I just repost your recipes. Thanks for making me look cool.
wait so no crying at the bar?? Well done!! Glad you had a good time.. thank you Sergio for your service to our country! 🙂
Thank you for this. Starting my detox tomorrow. Gettin’ it! Glad you had fun at the bar, way to go with the flow and just have fun!
Can we be best friends?!
I can’t stop laughing! Glad you had a great time. 🙂