Haha. Whip.
You all are going to hate me. And judge me. I know it, I just know it. I kind of cheated. Well, not kind of, I did. I drank alcohol. And alcohol isn’t exactly allowed on the 21 day sugar detox. Oopsies poopsies. Ok let’s talk about why I gave in.
Sergio leaves for Afghanistan in 2 weeks. He’s also an assh*le and said that if he dies, this would be the last time we drank together. It’s not funny, but his humor blows. Give him a break. I’m kidding, I love him. So when I showed up to the bar for Sergio’s ‘see you next year’ bash, he handed me 3 shots of Grey Goose. Yes, three. Yes, I took them. Yes, my stomach was a bit woozy. But the night went wonderfully. Like, OMG good. As soon as 4 shots hit my stomach, the music finally got better. Amazing. The DJ remixed ‘Call Me Maybe’ with ‘Feel So Close’. Yeah. It was awesome. And if you don’t know those two songs, google them then imagine them making love and having a child out of wedlock. Pretty awesome.
When I got home, I drunkenly ate carrot chips. So dedicated to paleo. I got jokes! Anywho, I thankfully don’t feel guilty about it. My friend is going to Afghanistan for 6 months, I wasn’t going to be a complete douche and not drink because I’m sugar detoxing. That’s just dumb to me. And you know what, I had the best night I’ve had in a looong time. Yes, I could have danced without alcohol ruining my liver and increasing my ass size, but then I would have noticed the people staring on with offended eyes. And that would have been just embarrassing.
I left the bar literally soaking in sweat. I could even ring out the sweat from my hair. That’s a good way to get the guys. Make yourself look like a wet poodle. I was a living poodle.
Disclaimer: Drinking is bad for you. And vodka isn’t paleo. Don’t be bad.
It’s funny how I hate sports but I love the Olympics.
I watched 4 movies this weekend. By myself. I need to find a man. Damn poodles.
Oh by the way, I swear this cake isn’t as dry as it looks. I swear!
Sugar Detox Pumpkin Cake in a Mug with Chocolate Whip
- Yield: 1 1x
Ingredients
For your cake
- 1 tablespoon pumpkin puree
- 1.5 tablespoons coconut flour
- 1 egg + 1 egg white
- 1 tablespoon coconut oil
- 2 tablespoons canned coconut milk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- pinch of salt
For your chocolate whip
- 1 tablespoon coconut butter
- 1 tablespoon canned coconut milk
- 1 teaspoon sunbutter (or nut butter)
- 1 teaspoon unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
Instructions
- Mix everything in a mug!
- Put it in the microwave for 1:30-2:30 minutes!
- While your cake cooks, mix together your chocolate whip!
- Once your cake is done (let it cool because that sh*t gets hot) and top with your chocolate whip!
- YAY sugar detox! (exclamation!)
Notes
Not on the sugar detox? Lucky. Add honey or maple syrup!
_______________
More Sugar Detox Recipes:
Sugar Detox Cinnamon Sweet Potato Ice Cream with Toasted Walnuts
Crockpot Sugar Detox Dessert Stuffed Apples
______________
Click Here To Get All My PaleOMG Recipes Into Your Meal Planner With Real Plans!
I may be compensated through my affiliate links in this post, but all opinions are my own. This compensation helps with expenses to keep this blog up and running! Thank you for your support with PaleOMG!
You kill me. I love you. You are kick-ass awesome!!
As my non-paleo sister put it, ‘This totally satisfies the emotional need for dessert without being sweet at all. Weird.’ Agreed. It was really kind of savory, but good and emotionally satisfying. Haha, thanks.
wondering if I can skip the extra egg white. I’m just too lazy for that.
Has anyone tried making this in an oven?
Oh my. My husband is a pumpkin addict and I just so happen to be growing a bunch of pumpkins in my first-ever garden this year! I think I just might have to make this for him… and maybe for me. You know, since there’s going to be extra.
I love your honesty! I would have done the same thing and have. I am also a wet poodle. Wet poodles have more fun!
This is effing delicious. I am not sugar detoxing, so I threw in a handful of raisins and drizzled some maple syrup on top. Hold crap is that amazing. Thanks for this!
This was delicious! I added 1/2 tablespoon of maple syrup and increased the coconut flour to 2 tbs. I microwaved it for 2 min and it came out great! It was moist and almost souffle like. I shared a bite with my 9mo old and he enjoyed it too 🙂
This was so good! I added raisins since I am not detoxing, but it really hit the spot.
I wanted to like this so much…but I also ended up with cinnamon scrambled eggs. Even with the coconut flour!
Same. Not sure what happened, but the egg was wayyy overpowering. 🙁 I had to throw it out.