I’m finally back in my groove at CrossFit, feeling strong again after traveling and can breathe at the miserable altitude. Luckily, I travel again this Sunday so in a few weeks, I’ll be back to being miserable at CrossFit once again! Fabulous, just fabulous. It’s crazy how fast you lose strength and endurance when you’re not doing it regularly.
I want to talk a little about something. My body has been changing recently and I’m not totally sure why. My metabolism seriously changes month to month and I never really know what I’m doing differently. My eating patterns don’t change that much, my workout schedule is always different depending how I feel, but my body is always changing.
The only thing I’ve really taken on this year is my new motto “f*ck it”. Now before you go getting all pissed at me and leaving comments about how my language is offensive, hear me out (or just stop reading). I used to worry about everything in my life before. I worried about my diet, I worried about my workouts, I constantly worried about my physique, I worried about every little thing, especially when I couldn’t control some of those things. I put myself in such a constant state of stress, I was never able to be happy. It took over my mind, my conversations and truly my life. I was unhappy. And since being constantly worried and stressed about all those things wasn’t fixing them, I just woke up one day and said “f*ck it”. Screw worrying about my diet, screw obsessing about how many workouts I do, screw staring at myself in the mirror and looking at all my imperfections. F*ck it. I was finally fed up with it. 25 years of my life were spent worrying about everything and I was honestly exhausted. And instantly, I was happier. The less I obsessed with what I was eating and just ate what I felt like in the moment (minus gluten because that doesn’t really work for me), the more my eating habits regulated. The less I worried about taking rest days, the better my body felt. And the less time I spent staring at my imperfections in the mirror, the more I learned how enjoyable life could actually be. And before I knew it, I actually lost some weight.
How much weight, I can’t be sure. I try not to get on the scale much because it doesn’t really mean much. But when I was competing in CrossFit, I wasn’t happy with my how I felt in my skin. I would look in the mirror and I just didn’t feel like I recognized myself. Now I feel like I finally do. Even though I know my body will change once again in a year like it’s done every single year since I was born, I finally know that obsessing gets me nowhere.
Have any of you gone through something similar or are trying to find that balance? Leave a comment below with your own story of personal growth!
Sunday – Group open gym workout! That means we made up our own workout.
20 minute AMRAP:
50/42 calorie row
40 KB Swings (70/55)- I used 45#
30 burpees
20 power cleans (135,95)- I used 85#
10 front squats (same weight)
5 muscle ups or 15 C2B pull ups (I did C2B pull ups)
100 double unders
I finished with 1 round at 16 kettlebell swings
Monday –
2 x Hang Squat Clean + Push Jerk + Split Jerk. Adding. (12 mins) – I think I got to 125#?
Back Squat: 4 x 5. Adding. (12 mins) – I got to 155#
7 min AMRAP OF: (3,6,9,12…)
Power Cleans (185/125) – I used 105#
Burpees Over Bar
I got to 15? I think. Sh*t I suck at this.
Tuesday –
Bent Over Row: 5 x 5. Adding. 1 sec pause on floor after each rep. (12 mins) – I got to 115#
then
15-12-9-6-3 Reps For Time Of:
Strict handstand push ups (I did mine to 1 ab mat)
Strict Pull Ups
I finished in 8:52
then
5 min AMRAP OF:
15 KB Swings (70/55)
30 Double Unders
I got 4 rounds + 26 reps
Wednesday – Rest day. Luckily it was a rest day since I decided to be an idiot and cut my thumb open, in turn spending 3 hours in urgent care getting it stitched up. Lovely.
Thursday – Another rest day because I was being super big baby about getting a tetanus shot and it hurting like a b*tch in my shoulder. It’s seriously still sore almost a week later. Stupid.
Friday –
2 x Hang Power Cleans + 1 x Push Jerk. 12 mins for a heavy set. – I got to 135#
For Time:
750/700m Row
then 2 rounds:
20 Push Jerks (155/105) – I used 85#
20 Alt Pistols – I held a 10# plate while doing pistols to help keep my heel down
then
400m Run
30 Wall Ball
I finished in 13:27
Saturday –
5 Rounds For Time Of:
7 Power Snatch (165/105) – I used 85#
15 Pull Ups
200m Run
10 Burpees
1 min rest between rounds
I finished in 20:46
Hi Juli,
Just wanted to let you know how inspired I am by your Crossfit posts. I just turned 40 and have been doing Crossfit regularly for over a year. However, about six weeks ago I broke my ankle and have been in a walking cast, unable to do much beyond rowing, pushups and modified pullups. As you said in your post, it’s amazing how quickly you lose muscle and endurance. It has been such a huge bummer. Just wondering if you have any experience with injuries and having to take time off for an extended period, and how you kept a good attitude about it. I’m starting to get pretty depressed as my healing has been soooo slow and it seems way too easy to tweak my ankle again as soon as I try to do anything new. 🙁
I recently adopted the same attitude. I was/am so tired of wanting, chasing something I didn’t have. Being so critical of everything I put or don’t put into my mouth, depriving myself of things I enjoy and stressing about being “the best” was consuming my life. Leaving my ego behind in a workout, loving my body for the way it is right NOW and enjoying the little things in life. It’s time to “let it be.” Let my body be, let my mind be and let me be ME!
I don’t swear often but I’m joining in with you because I too finally said: “f*ck it.” I still have days when I doubt my food, body and workouts but more often than not I just don’t care. I can honestly thank CrossFit and paleo for that. I did the freshman 15 then lost it with a plant based diet and running. Then got super skinny and had crappy skin and still lacked confidence. After gaining weight, finding CrossFit (and still even running – first marathon in December) I am so much happier and confident. Thank you for always keeping it real. You inspire me to do so on my little corner of the internet as well.
It sounds like you basically started fueling your body properly with the foods it was needing for your enegery levels and incorporating enough downtime to recover properly. Overly training puts added stress on your body and hinders any fat loss/muscle gain. And your new attitude has also helped you de-stress, all of which leads to a happier, healthier YOU! Great job and keep up the good work.
I started Crossfit about a year and a half ago when my now husband and I were trying to find a way to work out together. He was a Crossfitter, I was a runner – when he said he would pay for it, I gave in!! It was slow starting but my body started to get more muscular and my weights were increasing but my speed was not. I started concentrating on how much I could lift because that’s where I saw the success and that’s when the weight gain started. At first I denied it and said I was happier and healthier than I had ever been. But then, my then boyfriend proposed and I realized I didn’t want to see my swollen self in a wedding gown. He suggested we try the paleo challenge our box does every year – so we did and I lost about 10 lbs, all the Crossfit weight I had gained, but it looked like more. I won “most improved photo” for the women! I continued to eat paleo up to our wedding and lost an additional 4 lbs. During our honeymoon in St. Lucia I found the confidence I haven’t had since I was in college. They also made really good food at our resort – lots of local produce – so it was easy to stay on track! I am still eating Paleo today and although I do have my small cheats that my body can tolerate, I am still losing weight and feeling great. I only work out about 3 times a week now and I am definitely not as strong but I don’t care, I feel and look great for me! My Paleo anniversary is coming up soon, January 11th and I don’t think I will ever go back
I hear you completely. Our bodies just do strange things sometimes and stressing can make us crazy. We can’t obsess over every change and there’s no need to. You look amazing, you’re taking care of yourself, sounds like you’re feeling well, so totally agree with the f*ck it attitude.
I am joining you as well with the “f*ck it” mentality. I’ve been doing the whole changing thing from year to year as well but doesn’t everyone change from year to year? It’s the perspective we look at and if we have the “f*ck it” perception we can do SO many things in life 🙂 Keep on keeping on. Love this post and your blog of course!
I really needed to read this. If I could adopt that attitude and stop obsessing about all my imperfections, I know I would be happier. I just don’t know how to get to that mindset, especially knowing I DO have weight to lose. I’m a work in progress and I need to be content and proud how far I’ve come.
Didn’t your, “screw it” attitude coincide with you deciding to train less, and take more days off? I will for sure mangle the science here, but I always wondered if you weren’t working too hard. Your hormones were in a state of “flight” due to hard training and (what you say here) mental stress.
Your body reacted to that stress by protecting itself and holding on to calories and fat?
Now your body is less stressed. Hormones are regulated, and metabolism is now using fuel like it should.
I watched my son experience something similar when he was trying to cut weight for wrestling after a long hard illness. He was cutting the weight in a healthy manner (not more than he should), but his hormones were still in a state of crisis from his illness, and refused to lose weight.
Just a thought I had. So glad you figured it out.
I’m not an over achiever, therefore I have no first hand experience with this phenomenon. I come by my extra pounds in a more straight forward manner 🙂
This is absolutely fantastic. I still stress myself out a little too often with absolutely everything when it comes to eating and body type/figure. I have been working hard to accept compliments more and caring a little less of what I am eating. I was to the point where I was eating too clean (if that is even a thing) and even a thought of sugar going into my mouth freaked me out! Surprisingly, when I had less restrictions on my diet I saw better results and felt a lot better.
Here’s to not giving a flying f*ck 🙂