As I start to type out this post, I really don’t even know where to start. But ever since I started talking more and more about working out LESS and seeing better results from it, I’ve been getting flooded with questions on social media. And the more I’ve shared old photos from when I was working out NONSTOP to now (working out 3x per week), the more interest I’ve seen in this topic. So today I wanted to share my own experience with exercise addiction and the issues I ran into because of it. We live in a world where MORE is better. More money, more things, more likes. We want more more more. So in my early 20s, when I still had so much to learn, I always thought more exercise meant more results. More hours in the gym meant I would finally see the results I had always hoped for. But man was I dead wrong.
When I was 21 I started doing CrossFit and it changed my life forever. Not only did I finally meet a community that I felt part of, but I found a new purpose. A purpose that didn’t include obsessing over my own weight. Instead I began obsessing over the weight I could put on the barbell, or getting my first pull up, or running my fastest mile. I had a new purpose that impacted me so deeply that I was never the same. And I took that obsession very seriously and began training twice a day and competing in CrossFit competitions every other weekend. For the first time in my life I wasn’t obsessing about my weight, I felt this new excitement to workout every day, and I was actually losing weight without thinking about it…all while constantly seeing improvements to my fitness. I was hooked!
But that’s where addiction begins – you get hooked and you never want to stop. I thought to myself, “Well, working out once a day has gotten me this far….what about 2x a day? Even better, 3x?” And my addiction took over. At this point, I was 22-23 and working in multiple CrossFit gyms so I would spend my time between classes working out with friends. A friend would want to work out, I would say yes, then it would happen at another gym. And since my whole goal was to make it to CrossFit Regionals and hopefully the CrossFit Games, I kept this behavior up because it kept me beating people in the gym week after week.
But what I didn’t understand was why I looked so extremely puffy. And it was something I really struggled with because all my friends would tell me I was crazy when I said this. It was such a mindfuck – I would look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back yet everyone I trusted said I was wrong when I mentioned my weight. Yet I was 30lbs heavier and extremely uncomfortable in my body. So I really didn’t know what to do. I wanted to work out all the time because I was addicted and I wanted to compete, but I also wanted to feel like myself. So what did I do? I worked out more like running 5 miles on my rest days or completing rower sprints for time. I continued to work out MORE and began eating LESS because I thought that would decrease my constant bloating throughout my body. But the eating less just led to binging and the constant working out led to more inflammation in my body. I was lost, simply lost.
It wasn’t until I learned about inflammation and stress on the body. I don’t know if it was something I read or something someone said to me, but something finally clicked. I finally learned about cortisol and how it affects our bodies. Cortisol is the stress hormone that is released when you are ‘fight or flight’ mode. Now if you’ve ever done CrossFit, you know that every workout is fight or flight. You go to the gym anxious about the workout, you’re sweating before it starts, and then it’s GO TIME when the buzzer counts down. So when I was working out 2-4x per day, I was constantly releasing cortisol. And this constant release of cortisol can lead to a bunch of different health problems, including weight gain. Then pair this with the constant workouts that included lifting extremely heavy weights, sprinting, and exerting as much energy as possible…well that led to extreme inflammation. My inflammation showed itself through injuries during workouts, poor sleep, extreme cystic acne, and edema. I was swollen everywhere.
So one day when I was looking in the mirror and seeing the same face I hadn’t recognized for years, I finally said fuck it. Fuck.this.shit. If I was working out MORE and seeing LESS results, why not try the complete opposite? Instead of working out 2x/day with no true rest days, I started to work out 5x/week with 2 REAL rest days. Rest days that didn’t include a 5 mile run or rower sprints….rest days that included nothing but rest. When I started this, I HATED it. I felt deep in my heart that there was no way I could still see results from working out 5x per week instead of 21x or more. But I continued to remind myself what Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” So I stopped doing the same shit over and over, and stuck with my plan – workout less and see how it goes.
And guess what? My cystic acne decreased, my edema and constant swelling decreased, I slept better, I felt better, and my workouts were better. Sure, I wasn’t as strong because that wasn’t my goal at that time, but my life was all around better. But to be clear, this took a while. It took me 3 years to lose 30lbs. And this took that long because I really took my time getting to know my body. I didn’t count calories or macros, I didn’t obsess about what I was eating, and I didn’t worry about missing a workout. I LISTENED to my body and what it was needing – if I was craving french fries, I had french fries. If I wanted pancakes, I made pancakes. If I wasn’t craving those things, I ate my normal veggies-and-meat meal. And when I was full, I stopped. When I stopped restricting, my binging behaviors subsided.
As the 3 years went by, I was able to really get to know what my body needed. If it needed more food, less food, heavier workouts, or no workouts at all. 3 years may sound like a long time if you’re a person who is looking to lose weight, but those 3 years taught me so much and those healthy behaviors have been able to continually grow over time. And because of that, I can see how my body reacts to certain foods and certain workouts. I’ve stuck with working out 5x/week for years now and it’s worked really great, but since I started working with a trainer who gives me more intense workouts, I’ve needed to cut back. And I knew that because I’ve taken the time to get to know my body. When I started working with the trainer while still doing my normal workouts, I could see that inflammation creep back in. My thighs started to get a bit puffy and I was feeling more sore than usual. So what did I do? I cut back. I cut back to working out only 3x per week…and I felt scared AF to do that because I didn’t want to slow down my progress. But just like I did in 2012, I reminded myself to trust the process and LISTEN to my body. It’s been a month of working out only 3x/week and all my strength numbers have increased all without seeing signs of inflammation.
I don’t know if you’ll connect to this story in any capacity, but I hope it resonates with at least a few people. I felt so lost during those years and I never had a coach to lead me in the right direction or question the amount of time I was spending in the gym. I never had a coach mention inflammation or cortisol or even exercise addiction. All I had was myself and my gut, and I’m sure AF glad I listened to it. If you take anything from this long ass post, I hope it’s understanding that more isn’t MORE. You don’t have to do hours of cardio or lift the heaviest weights or push yourself to puking to simply get results. You just don’t. It took me years to learn that and I hope that this post helps someone before they go down the same difficult path. More isn’t better, it’s just not. And if you’re afraid to reduce your exercise because you think you won’t continue to progress, I’m here to remind you that it is possible! All you gotta do is trust the process.
If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments section below. I tried to touch on everything people have asked me on instagram, but I may have missed some things. Let me know and I’m happy to answer anything that I can based off my own experience!
Hi Juli! Love this post and YOU and all you share so openly with us. Question – when did you notice things change in your face as far as puffiness starting to subside? And do you think that was weight, or swelling/edema? Definitely relate to a ton of this and have had similar struggles. I notice it a lot in my face even when weight has stayed consistent, making me think it’s swelling and not fat.. if that makes sense. I just never know if it’s fat (making me feel like I need to lose weight…) or swelling/water retention from stress/high cortisol (making me think I need to actually cut back on exercise/keep eating the same amount/sleep more/chill out.. lol). Of course we’re all different, but wondering your experience there. Thank you for sharing your story!
This was helpful.
I have cut back a lot. But still do the “CrossFit” deal 3x a week: MWF. I am fluffy. Hips and midsection. My thighs are thick and I’m so upset with it. I do track tho, just to know where my macros are landing each day. I feel if I eat all the time my body will gain it. Now I don’t always eat bread or pastas. I try to stick to no gluten products; limit myself to whole grains if I am doing cardio. I have done a lot of program for weight, I have done a lot of trainers for help. And I’m still feeling stuck. I have come along way tho. I just am feeling to the point of giving up.
I’m only 5ft but weigh 120 pounds and that’s too much for my size. I’m told diet is the most important part but I guess I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.
You mentioned on Instagram that intuitive eating has been getting some flack. Can you elaborate a bit more about that? I’ve recently become interested in Intuitive eating, but I’ve only seen content that is pro IE, such as from you and your friend Jessie and a few other accounts. I’m wanting to take the next steps toward that lifestyle but I think I’m still in the stage of gathering information. Making the leap is HARD!!
Thank you Juli! This was definitely me. I was always a distance runner and most training plans required 5 runs per week. Then I got really into yoga and I remember a teacher saying you needed at least 4 classes per week to improve. Then I started getting into strength training, working with a trainer and more recently CrossFit, but I felt too scared to let any of the other activities go. So for a long stretch of my 20s, I would go to the gym in the morning, go for a run after work, and then end my day with a 90 minute vinyasa. Sure I was slim and fit, but I had NO energy and I was not fueling my body nearly enough. I would wake up in the middle of the night starving and trick myself into being full by chugging water. Now, I’ve started to find more balance, with CrossFit 1-3 times per week and yoga a couple times (running sucks ass in Denver so I’ve pretty much given that up lol). Trying to work more on intuitive eating at this point. Would love to hear more about your journey there!
Im a personal trainer so i love that this is being brought to light! We’ve always been taught push push push….heavier heavier heavier! Thank you for sharing your story!
I’m so intrigued by intuitive eating but the whole idea of it sounds daunting and intimidating. How would you say you started and did you have help from anyone?
Thank you so much for sharing this post – I’ve listened to your podcast and the story you’ve shared about over training. I’ve recently finally made the switch to 2 complete off days (meaning no “long mile active rest walks” because that was just a dang slippery slope) and so far feel much better with workouts and hoping to see the “less puff” soon. It’s so helpful to hear about the mental toughness of it but the reward!
Love this! I also had bad cystic acne when I increased my CF workout days. Rest as an integral aspect of training is discussed a lot in the book Peak Performance—“This is to say that the stress of hard physical training breaks us down, and it is only when we follow stress with rest that adaptation and growth occurs.” 💕
This 100% resonates. When I was 25, I developed an eating disorder and became obsessed with burning off every calorie I consumed. Constant working out, yet constant injury. I got to the weight I wanted but looked and felt like hot garbage. It’s taken 15 years and I still have struggles, but I am learning to listen to my body. I struggle with listening vs. thinking, am I giving up? If I workout less, do I have to eat less, because I love food. But I found a new gym in the last 6 months and have spent more focus on weight training, and my protein intake, and I feel like mentally it’s clicking. Taking a rest day doesn’t give me (as much) anxiety and at 40, I’ve never felt stronger and never felt better. Overdoing it was so unhealthy for me and I’m happy to see you have found such great results by not overdoing it!!
What does movement on your rest days look like? I know you mentioned them being true rest days, but are there walks or stretching or anything? I find it particularly difficult during these quarantine times – my rest days are truly like complete slug days on the couch because there’s nowhere to go and nothing to do to even feel like you’re moving your body AT ALL. If I don’t get a work out in, then I get like 500 steps in a day. Is that something you struggle with at all? Or do you feel fine just truly relaxing a few times a week?
Juli thank you so much for sharing all this! I’ve followed you for 6ish years now and I’ve always admired your courage and willingness to buck the trends that run rampant in the diet and fitness indistry. I’m 30 and have always loved fitness, but I had an eating disorder in college that has often made it hard to figure out if I’m exercising because I truly enjoy it or because I want to burn more calories. I’ve done Crossfit, run marathons, and tried cycling just recently. I think that we all have different forms of movement that really connect us to our bodies in a meaningful way. Crossfit always seemed to cause my ED tendencies to flare up so I quit it. However, running I realized I would do regardless of whether it burned any calories because it makes me feel fantastic and I really connect with myself in running. I still have to keep my running in check and make sure I take full rest days every week but it so much easier to manage than Crossfit was where I felt guilty and shamed if I missed a day. It took me a long time to realize that different forms of exercise can sometimes be the cause of unhealthy addictions. So I encourage all the ladies out there to try a totally different form of exercise if what they are doing right now is not helping with their weight or is causing exercise addiction. Food and exercise should be pleasurable and honoring to our body and not tools for controlling our body. <3
Thank you for sharing! I started an intense caloric deficit and macro counting journey last summer after gaining weight from the pandemic. It created serious disordered eating with binging, negative self talk, extreme focus on calories, weighing everything, constant hunger etc.
Over the weekend I realized it wasn’t benefiting me mentally or really at this point physically because of the stress. I used to do CF 5-7x times a week and dropped down my workouts to more weightlifting basics 4x a week. My husband pulled up photos from 5 years ago and I couldn’t believe how puffy I was compared to now!
Your posts/stories the last few weeks are what helped me tune into where I was in my journey. Thank you!