As I start to type out this post, I really don’t even know where to start. But ever since I started talking more and more about working out LESS and seeing better results from it, I’ve been getting flooded with questions on social media. And the more I’ve shared old photos from when I was working out NONSTOP to now (working out 3x per week), the more interest I’ve seen in this topic. So today I wanted to share my own experience with exercise addiction and the issues I ran into because of it. We live in a world where MORE is better. More money, more things, more likes. We want more more more. So in my early 20s, when I still had so much to learn, I always thought more exercise meant more results. More hours in the gym meant I would finally see the results I had always hoped for. But man was I dead wrong.
When I was 21 I started doing CrossFit and it changed my life forever. Not only did I finally meet a community that I felt part of, but I found a new purpose. A purpose that didn’t include obsessing over my own weight. Instead I began obsessing over the weight I could put on the barbell, or getting my first pull up, or running my fastest mile. I had a new purpose that impacted me so deeply that I was never the same. And I took that obsession very seriously and began training twice a day and competing in CrossFit competitions every other weekend. For the first time in my life I wasn’t obsessing about my weight, I felt this new excitement to workout every day, and I was actually losing weight without thinking about it…all while constantly seeing improvements to my fitness. I was hooked!
But that’s where addiction begins – you get hooked and you never want to stop. I thought to myself, “Well, working out once a day has gotten me this far….what about 2x a day? Even better, 3x?” And my addiction took over. At this point, I was 22-23 and working in multiple CrossFit gyms so I would spend my time between classes working out with friends. A friend would want to work out, I would say yes, then it would happen at another gym. And since my whole goal was to make it to CrossFit Regionals and hopefully the CrossFit Games, I kept this behavior up because it kept me beating people in the gym week after week.
But what I didn’t understand was why I looked so extremely puffy. And it was something I really struggled with because all my friends would tell me I was crazy when I said this. It was such a mindfuck – I would look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back yet everyone I trusted said I was wrong when I mentioned my weight. Yet I was 30lbs heavier and extremely uncomfortable in my body. So I really didn’t know what to do. I wanted to work out all the time because I was addicted and I wanted to compete, but I also wanted to feel like myself. So what did I do? I worked out more like running 5 miles on my rest days or completing rower sprints for time. I continued to work out MORE and began eating LESS because I thought that would decrease my constant bloating throughout my body. But the eating less just led to binging and the constant working out led to more inflammation in my body. I was lost, simply lost.
It wasn’t until I learned about inflammation and stress on the body. I don’t know if it was something I read or something someone said to me, but something finally clicked. I finally learned about cortisol and how it affects our bodies. Cortisol is the stress hormone that is released when you are ‘fight or flight’ mode. Now if you’ve ever done CrossFit, you know that every workout is fight or flight. You go to the gym anxious about the workout, you’re sweating before it starts, and then it’s GO TIME when the buzzer counts down. So when I was working out 2-4x per day, I was constantly releasing cortisol. And this constant release of cortisol can lead to a bunch of different health problems, including weight gain. Then pair this with the constant workouts that included lifting extremely heavy weights, sprinting, and exerting as much energy as possible…well that led to extreme inflammation. My inflammation showed itself through injuries during workouts, poor sleep, extreme cystic acne, and edema. I was swollen everywhere.
So one day when I was looking in the mirror and seeing the same face I hadn’t recognized for years, I finally said fuck it. Fuck.this.shit. If I was working out MORE and seeing LESS results, why not try the complete opposite? Instead of working out 2x/day with no true rest days, I started to work out 5x/week with 2 REAL rest days. Rest days that didn’t include a 5 mile run or rower sprints….rest days that included nothing but rest. When I started this, I HATED it. I felt deep in my heart that there was no way I could still see results from working out 5x per week instead of 21x or more. But I continued to remind myself what Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” So I stopped doing the same shit over and over, and stuck with my plan – workout less and see how it goes.
And guess what? My cystic acne decreased, my edema and constant swelling decreased, I slept better, I felt better, and my workouts were better. Sure, I wasn’t as strong because that wasn’t my goal at that time, but my life was all around better. But to be clear, this took a while. It took me 3 years to lose 30lbs. And this took that long because I really took my time getting to know my body. I didn’t count calories or macros, I didn’t obsess about what I was eating, and I didn’t worry about missing a workout. I LISTENED to my body and what it was needing – if I was craving french fries, I had french fries. If I wanted pancakes, I made pancakes. If I wasn’t craving those things, I ate my normal veggies-and-meat meal. And when I was full, I stopped. When I stopped restricting, my binging behaviors subsided.
As the 3 years went by, I was able to really get to know what my body needed. If it needed more food, less food, heavier workouts, or no workouts at all. 3 years may sound like a long time if you’re a person who is looking to lose weight, but those 3 years taught me so much and those healthy behaviors have been able to continually grow over time. And because of that, I can see how my body reacts to certain foods and certain workouts. I’ve stuck with working out 5x/week for years now and it’s worked really great, but since I started working with a trainer who gives me more intense workouts, I’ve needed to cut back. And I knew that because I’ve taken the time to get to know my body. When I started working with the trainer while still doing my normal workouts, I could see that inflammation creep back in. My thighs started to get a bit puffy and I was feeling more sore than usual. So what did I do? I cut back. I cut back to working out only 3x per week…and I felt scared AF to do that because I didn’t want to slow down my progress. But just like I did in 2012, I reminded myself to trust the process and LISTEN to my body. It’s been a month of working out only 3x/week and all my strength numbers have increased all without seeing signs of inflammation.
I don’t know if you’ll connect to this story in any capacity, but I hope it resonates with at least a few people. I felt so lost during those years and I never had a coach to lead me in the right direction or question the amount of time I was spending in the gym. I never had a coach mention inflammation or cortisol or even exercise addiction. All I had was myself and my gut, and I’m sure AF glad I listened to it. If you take anything from this long ass post, I hope it’s understanding that more isn’t MORE. You don’t have to do hours of cardio or lift the heaviest weights or push yourself to puking to simply get results. You just don’t. It took me years to learn that and I hope that this post helps someone before they go down the same difficult path. More isn’t better, it’s just not. And if you’re afraid to reduce your exercise because you think you won’t continue to progress, I’m here to remind you that it is possible! All you gotta do is trust the process.
If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments section below. I tried to touch on everything people have asked me on instagram, but I may have missed some things. Let me know and I’m happy to answer anything that I can based off my own experience!
I’m so thankful you talked about this so much lately on Instagram and now here. I’ve felt so many of the same things and when I look at myself also don’t recognize me anymore. I work out hard, all the time. When I first started hearing you talk about it I decided to start decreasing too… and dropping some of the CrossFit workouts for more straight weights, which I may actually love more but never thought they were “enough”… it’s so scary to make this change but you make me hopeful! Thank you!
it’s always SO freaking scary to change something, but life is too short to do the same shit over and over when it’s not working! glad you’re changing it up and seeing how it goes!
I so relate this! I’ve never struggled to maintain a healthy shape until I had my second child (constant stress and sleep deprivation also leads to lots of good old cortisol). My entire life I worked out 4 to 5 days a week and ate healthy and had the results you would expect. After my second it was such a challenge that I started working out to the extreme to get the weight off. I was always extremely sore, fatigued, and sleeping horribly. And though I was gaining muscle and finally losing fat, I felt like a swollen balloon. It wasn’t until I had surgery a few months ago, and was forced to rest for 4 weeks, that I suddenly dropped 10 lbs and the edema in my ankles/calves/face faded away. Hearing your story really proves to me that my decison to cut back is the right one. Thank you!
YES! similar experience here! i remember taking off 5 days at one point because of my schedule and I lost weight. it blew my mind! so glad you’ve been able to give your body the rest it so desperately needed and see what rest can do for the body!
I relate SO much to this post. It’s something I feel like I have been struggling when for longer than I can even remember. The puffiness and acne is something I feel like I’m in a never-ending battle with, and on top of it when I look at the work I put into diet and exercise and then see that person in the mirror, I feel like it’s not “me”. I work out 5x a week right now doing a mix of density, complex and some cardio tabata to finish. Sometimes I think “do I need to start running?” or add more cardio to my routine to kick start more weightloss. Do you have any tips/recommendations for learning what to look for as far as the signals you get from your body related to intuitive eating and/or exercise? I find that when I stop restricting myself, I do tend to eat much more than I should (because of ultimate weight gain), but of course, I’m happy to not be restricted. I’m constantly trying to find that balance and I’m struggling to get there. I don’t like tracking because it can be an obsessive behavior, however, If I don’t track, I tend to lose that idea of a healthy calorie deficit. Most of the food I eat is non-processed and tons of plants (I aim for diversity) but overeating and craving processed foods are my downfall! Love that you’re speaking on this! I’ve been a follower for 8 years now and I think it’s awesome that you’re able to share your journey so openly!
When it comes to intuitive eating, I think eating nutrient dense foods that work for your own body is best. For example, a nutrient dense meal for me is LOTS of veggies, animal based protein, and a little fat. Sometimes I want a gf grain in there and sometimes I don’t. When I’m eating that type of meal, it’s really easy for me to figure out how much I should be eating because my body will tell me when to stop. I find that when I’m eating more sugary foods or packaged foods, I have a harder time with figuring out those signals. As for exercise, there can be all kinds of signs such as injury, lack in sleep, reduced sex drive, changes in appetite, and of course, not getting the results you’re hoping for. Often times when people restrict, they go apeshit once the loosen up with the control, which leads to binging. I did this for years until I got rid of restricting and said I could have whatever I wanted…I found that I didn’t care about those foods much anymore because they weren’t out of arms reach. I hope that helps and makes sense!
Do you have any thoughts on weight loss for endurance athletes? When I first started training for long distance triathlons, I dropped a lot of weight and felt skinny for the first time ever. I was also eating whatever I wanted because I was burning so many calories (and was still in my 20s). Fast forward a few years later and I guess my body has adapted to the longer workouts and holds on to whatever I eat. I have made conscious changes to cut out my daily sugary Starbucks and replace Chipotle burrito lunches with veggie & protein bowls, for example… and I haven’t lost any weight OR inches. I’d be hesitant to reduce workouts because that fitness and endurance is necessary for the long races. Any advice is much appreciated!!!
I wish I could help more on that topic, but I’ve never been an endurance athlete. I understand being hesitant on reducing your workouts, but it may be worth trying some time when you get to that point. Think of your body as a constant experiment and don’t be afraid to try something different. But I also understand goals! Weight loss is definitely all about caloric deficit, so it may also help if you began tracking a bit. Play around with things, remember that the body is constantly changing, and don’t be afraid to switch things up!
Hi-
This post is great! I’ve been really struggling with feeling in shape but also “puffy.” I’m only 5’2 and weigh about 114 lbs, I work out 6x a week doing weight workouts through zoom with a trainer, but it’s so frustrating that im not leaning out. I feel stronger but I feel like even though I work out more than most people, and eat relatively healthy (80% of the time), I don’t understand why I’m still so puffy everywhere. Very similar to how you are in the pic in the photo. Any advice would be appreciated!!!!
it’s hard to give you any advice since i don’t personally know you, but if you’re not getting the results you want, it might be time to try something new. i wish i would have thought of that when i was younger and sticking with the same workouts day after day.
Hey! I recently was diagnosed with Hashimoto and attributed it to age (I’m 39) and this is often when it starts to creep in. I used to do CF but stopped because my husband and I wanted to do something together. So we tried OTF and now doing F45 and I love it. For the past 3 years I’ve worked from home so transitioned to a much more sedentary lifestyle, enter 15 lbs. I go to the gym just about every day because I thought I needed to just to move around. My husband and I are also trying to get pregnant and having trouble but until reading this post and listening to a few things you’ve said, I never thought this could all be related. I’m one of those people that has historically thought you have to workout to lose weight. Plus it has been a huge shift in sitting more 🙄.
Thank you so much for this 🙏🏻. After Crossfitting for 10 years I finally broke away in 2020 because I knew in my gut it was time for a change. Breaking away has been scary but you sharing your journey has really helped me stay optimistic that I can get to where I want to be without CrossFit. I’m on a journey to find what works for me now and I’m grateful that you have shared your experiences.
I’ve been following closely as you discuss this on insta…so interesting. Sometimes doing the opposite is what’s needed. I started with a macro coach last year and lost weight by eating a lot more (reverse dieting), go figure.
I’m wondering how you know if your workouts are intense enough to get the results you want without causing inflammation? Especially since one of the things asked when not getting results is “are you actually working out with intensity?” I know watching over time probably helps, but it seems like watching over a period of weeks/months could show changes from a number of factors.
What makes you feel like what you are adding/losing was inflammation as opposed to muscle? Maybe in the past it was more obvious…but do you still feel like it’s pretty clear? I think a lot of times people say it’s muscle.
Thanks for so much good info!
I love reading your story! I have done CrossFit for the better half of the last ten years, but the last couple years it just hasn’t resonated with me. I have been feeling something inside me telling me to try something new. Self motivation to get the work done is so hard for me though outside of a class setting, but I do love lifting. Is that primarily what your workouts consist of now? What would you call the style of your current workouts, primarily just strength training?
Same, girl, same. I used to hear rest days were important for injury prevention, but no one mentioned crazy cortisol. I finally quit my crossfit gym when I got a new, high stress job and felt like i didn’t need dudes yelling at me all day at work and at night. That agro intensity felt wrong, intuitively, and I did feel better working out less. The best advice I got was actually when I was working out with Adrian Bozman (who I randomly met later). He said the best way to program a workout is to always leave knowing you could have done more. Not only do you not get injured, but you don’t get burned out or overwork. He was the first crossfitter who had a laid back, listen-to-your body approach with each workout and it completely changed how I see exercise. I’m now in a weird place where I need to tighten back up my exercise and diet, and it’s so hard not to fall into addiction while still get healthier and fully agree, listening to your body is key, and it’s about marrying that with a routine that is flexible enough to account for that.