Relationships stress me out. And I’m not even in one. But many of my friends are, and their relationships REALLY stress me out. They’re so overwhelming at times. They like each other, then they hate each other. They complain about each other, then they can’t take their hands off each other. They’re like children. And I don’t like children.
I know for a fact my food will never complain, that’s why I’m in a relationship with it. I take good care of my food and it takes good care of me. We have a very understanding and healthy relationship. I may seem weird and kind of like a leper with the amount of time I spend in the house, in my kitchen, on a Friday night, but I’m sure as hell not fighting with my food at the bar, while others stare on with drunken eyes. I hate drunken people fights. I love watching them. Car wreck in human form.
The moral to this story is – annoying relationships suck. So get out of them if you are one of the people that fills their friends ears with complaints about their significant other. We don’t care. Your significant other obviously doesn’t care. So you shouldn’t care. And you should find yourself a new partner. Meaning paleo food. Like this recipe. Why wouldn’t you make CARAMEL BARS your new lover? I’ve done it twice now. Two times. Two times a lady, if you will.
Chocolate Coffee Caramel Bars
- Yield: 3-4 1x
Ingredients
For the crust
- 12 dried figs (or dates, if you prefer), stems removed
- 1/2 cup almond butter
- 1/4 cup Unsweetended Shredded Coconut
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
For the caramel
- 12–14 medjool dates, pitted and soaked in water for an hour
- 5–6 tablespoons canned coconut milk
- 3 tablespoons water
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
For the topping
- 1 cup Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips or dark chocolate, melted
- 1/4 cup canned coconut milk
- 2 teaspoons ground coffee
- coarse sea salt, to top
Instructions
- First make your crust. Add all of your crust ingredients into a food processor and mix until well combined. Add the crust mixture to abread pan and push down until the mixture is flat. Like a crust. Duh.
- Now add your dates and pulse until dates have broken down (less than a minute) then add your coconut milk tablespoon by tablespoon to the dates while the food processor is still running. Then add your water as well.
- And add your vanilla extract and pinch of salt.
- Process until you get a caramel. BOOM. May take 3-5 minutes, tops.
- Pour caramel over your crust and spread evenly.
- Now you will want to melt your chocolate. You could do this in a double boiler or just the microwave. I chose the latter.
- Melt chocolate and coconut milk together in the microwave. Heating for 30 seconds then mixing well and reheating when necessary.
- Once your chocolate is completely melted, add your ground coffee and mix well.
- Pour melted chocolate over your caramel and spread evenly.
- Add coarse sea salt on top of the chocolate.
- Put in freezer to let chocolate harden. Around 10+ minutes.
- Eat!!
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More Layered Ideas For Ya:
Chocolate “Peanut Butter” Cookie Bars
Holiday Raspberry Caramel Tart
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holy crap that is some serious food porn you got going on there…
You are not the only one that spends more time in the kitchen than out with friends…generally my weekends include a date with my kitchen and my dog is the taste tester. 🙂
Lol at least you have a dog to talk to!
I first had these wonderfully delish Chocolate Caramel Coffee bars at a Paleo swap a few weeks ago and have been waiting to make them. So, today, I set out to get all the ingredients and made them. Unfortunately, my crust is not crust, it kinda molded in together with the caramel no matter how long I froze it. I am so bummed! Do you have any in sight as to why this has happened? Did I process it to long? HELP!
I found the crust too soft as well so I added 1/4 cup of ground almond flour, it helped but next time I would use less dates in the crust and a bit more almond flour to make it more crust like.
I totally get your point of view on relationships when it comes to bars like these. They look absolutely amazing. Yum!
Hope you try them out!
What do you think the chances are that I could use regular butter instead of almond butter? Or maybe I’ll just make these for myself, make a big to do of eating them and (you know, chocolate on my face, going on about how amazing they are) then tell my husband “Sorry, you’re allergic.” That would be mean.
sunflower seed butter maybe?
I was just going to ask if you think Sunbutter would work. Great to know 🙂
I wish I would have known about these babies yesterday, my relationship was stressing me the f**k out so I gave in to a 2000 calorie binge session, oops! These would have definitely made a nice accompaniment. haha
btw you’re awesome, and so funny, your blog cheers me up 🙂
effing relationships
is it possible that you might just have out done yourself?hmm perhaps we should take the banana french toast out the equation. NOW you have out done yourself!
those two together would make a beautiful child
Ohh those look amazing! I figure, after the hubby deploys next week, I need a list of sweets to drown myself in as I sit in my kitchen and cry lol!! I’m kidding…..sort of..? Lol ok this is going on the list though!! Already made the caramel pecan bars…wow those were good.
:(:( I’m sorry nicole, hopefully some of my recipes keep your mind occupied
The butter is a nut butter. Replace it with peanut butter not dairy butter. You might have a river if you use dairy butter. The nut butter gives it form and substance. Hope that answers your question.
Husband is unfortunately allergic to all nuts 🙁
Dammmmmmmn
Try sunflower seed butter?
Yeah, sunflower seed butter might work – I’ll look for some next time I’m at Earthfare. Thanks for the suggestion!
Oh dear god…. I just made banana bread French toast on Friday…(oh and there is NONE left over..I ate it all myself). So much for losing weight! 😉
Lol glad you liked it!!
These sound/look absolutely delicious!! I am hoping/bragging that I can use fresh coconut milk since I live in Africa and it’s cheaper and fresher. I am definitely going to try these, although they do sound like a lot of work with a lot of steps. . hence the reason you could only have a relationship with either food or a man!! I understand your choice though 😉
This was the first post I read, and I loved it. Keep sharing.
Thanks for checking out the blog Lindsay, hope you come back again!!
You crack me up Juli!!!! I hope you had a nice weekend 🙂
These look amazing, I’m sad to say i won’t be making them for a long time cause i’m starting the 21 day sugar detox and then we have a 90-day paleo challenge at the box, soooooo, i’ll be living a dessert-free life for a while. If i win the challenge i get 3 months of membership free!!! Oh god, i gotta stick to my guns! I tend to overeat…
Gosh dang it Jen! I’m still supportive though, win that challenge!
I think i’m Maing these in May… 3 weeks sugar-free is a good enough achievement, uh??? I’m salivating looking at these pics!
What size pan did you use? I have a meatloaf pan, an 8X8 pyrex, and some 9″ round cake pan. Do you think any of those would work?
I killed the WOD last night… Overhead Squats, which are my nemesis. I’m seeing the fruits of my labor!
Your posts are encouraging. thanks for sharing your thoughts and food with us!
I would use a meatloaf pan!